Alone in our “togetherness”
Suppose you are one of the diehards spending a couple hours browsing through the stacks of a bookstore and come across the following titles: Life on the Screen, The Second Self, and Alone Together. You might reasonably assume that you have stumbled into a section on movies and, maybe more specifically, what it’s like to be a Hollywood actor.
In some ways, you’d be right if you consider each of us to be actors on the world’s stage as we go about living our lives, interacting with others, and trying to project a self that rings true — or not.
Yet each of these three books is not about movies, but about what has happened to our lives in the age of computers, the Internet, and the Web 2.0 media.
This computer-generated image provided in 2007 by U.S. Rep. Edward Markey, D-Mass., shows him as an online "avatar" standing in front of a computerized image of the United Nations climate change summit on the Internet-based virtual reality community Second Life. Markey couldn't make it to Bali for the summit so he sent the next best thing: an avatar or himself. Markey addressed the meeting through the avatar. (AP Photo/The Office of U.S. Rep. Edward Markey)
Self-Definition
The books are about how we go about defining ourselves, to ourselves and others, in the age where RL meets VR in the MUD.
For the yet-uninitiated, that means Real Life meeting Virtual Reality in the Multi-User Domain.
The books are all written by Sherry Turkle, MIT Professor of Technology and Society, and they span the years of 1997-2011. Taken individually or together, they show how our current age is different from any previous era humankind has ever encountered.
Reverse expectations
A nicely written excerpt from Publisher’s Weekly presents the gist of Turkle’s latest work, Alone Together, which has the provocative subtitle, Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other.
“Turkle argues that people are increasingly functioning without face-to-face contact. For all the talk of convenience and connection derived from texting, e-mailing, and social networking, Turkle reaffirms that what humans still instinctively need is each other.
“She encounters dissatisfaction and alienation among users: teenagers whose identities are shaped not by self-exploration but by how they are perceived by the online collective, mothers who feel texting makes communicating with their children more frequent yet less substantive, Facebook users who feel shallow status updates devalue the true intimacies of friendships.”
A sobering thought
The disturbing conclusion is, “Turkle ‘s prescient book makes a strong case that what was meant to be a way to facilitate communications has pushed people closer to their machines and further away from each other.”
Some heavy Internet users find themselves losing control to the virtual reality of the Web and losing contact with real people in their lives. While medical science has made good use of virutal reality platforms to help in physical therapy as in the above case, many just find the Web 2.0 media pulling them deeper into detachment. (AP Photo/Oded Bality)
On several levels, that seems so. Anytime we see two people who are presumably on a date at a restaurant, yet there they sit more engaged in their I-phones or Droids, we get the picture.
Indeed one of the funnier commercials on television depicts two of these individuals. The woman is trying to have a real conversation with her date while suspecting he is more involved in checking game scores on his smart phone. And the reason it is so funny is because it is so true. We’ve all been a part of this scene, no?
Things that aren’t real
Carl Hays, a writer for Booklist, notes the following irony found in Turkle’s examination of the interface between humanity and technology:
“Turkle suggests that we seem determined to give human qualities to objects and content to treat each other as things.
“In her university-sponsored studies surveying everything from text-message usage among teens to the use of robotic baby seals in nursing homes for companionship, Turkle paints a sobering and paradoxical portrait of human disconnectedness in the face of expanding virtual connections in cell-phone, intelligent machine, and Internet usage.”
Respecting machines
When we are in the presence of a friend or loved one yet choose to focus our attention on the machine in our hand, we are in fact treating the machine with more respect; treating it as if it is more real than the person sitting next to us.
What makes Turkle’s observation more intriguing is that she has been making them for so long. Life on the Screen was published in 1997. How computer-savvy were you fifteen years ago? Did you even have an Internet connection in your home then?
Still, in that book Turkle posited that the Internet, with its bulletin boards, games, virtual communities, and private domains where people meet, develop relationships or emulate sex, is a microcosm of an emerging “culture of simulation” that substitutes representations of reality for the real world.
New pathways
What we had in 1997, Turkle said, was a new way of developing an identity. This new pathway was “de-centered and multiple,” meaning it was created outside of our beings; that we used multiple Internet means and models for creating a sense of who we are as unique individuals.
If it was true then, especially for the more malleable minds of the young, how much more true might it be today as the Web has gone through mega-changes since 1997?
Confusing worlds
As one college student put it, “RL is just one more window, and it’s usually not my best.” The haunting thing here is that he is considering the worlds he inhabits through his computer as real life. He is discussing the time he spends as four different characters – avatars – in three different MUDs. Add in the time he spends doing his homework on his computer, and he lives more of his life there than apart from it.
This kind of life requires people like this student to split themselves into different selves, turning on one self and then morphing into another, as he cycles from window to window on the screen. He believes it allows him to explore different possibilities of who he might be.
Some simply say, “The Internet lets you be who you pretend to be.”
A 2001 flashback
And, in an unsettling flashback to older generations of scenes from Stanley Kubrik’s 2001: A Space Odyssey, we seem to be losing our self-control to computers. As those space travelers did, we no longer give commands to our computers; we have dialogues with them.
And often, the computers seem to have the last word.
Thank you for joining our conversation on A Virtual Unknown. We encourage your discussion but ask that you stay within the bounds of our commenting and posting policy.
Comments
I really enjoyed reading this blog. Aside from the great writing, this is a very important subject to discuss. I personally get very annoyed if a person is on their phone while I am talking to them in real life. I feel that this is so disrespectful and it really shows the person that you are with that they are less important than the technology. I believe that the technology being used is disconnecting people, and inhibiting them from actually having real conversations with people. People are living their lives on the internet or behind text messaging, and I feel that this will have a strong impact on the way people are communicating.
This blog was very intresting, and it is also the topic that I am intrested in writing for my senior Thesis. I think that throughout the years especially in the 20th century,we have winged off of having normal face-to-face communication. Moreover, like the movie, “The Social Network,” where a genius Harvard University student creates facebook.However, it is very hard for him to establish realtionships outside of the social media world. Often, i have noticed that poeple like to pretend to be someone who they are not on internet sites. Sometimes they make their life sound so great when it reality it is not. Overall, i felt this blog was very informational.
Very true! I think we are losing our self-control to computers. I also think we lost our self-control to our mobile phones. Many people today are addicted to text messaging and Facebook. From experience, I think it is harder to put our phones down or close our laptops for at least two hours. I wonder what the effects of this diminishing self-control has on our decision making and work ethic. Moreoever, I see my younger brother who is in high school to grow anxious whenever he doesn’t have his phone. I wonder how different society’s next generation is in terms of self-control.
Also, I agree with Melissa. People tend to create their own virtual identities online. They portray their ideal selves through their profiles, like on Facebook. I wonder how transparent people really are on their pages.
I found this post very interesting as it has brought up many points that I myself have often wondered or thought about as different issues have come up periodically in my life. Let me first start off by saying that I don’t know why people think the Will Smith thriller iRobot is a joke or just a movie! Think about what technology has done in the last decade, exponential growth! Astronomical growth! Does it show any signs of stopping? No. Will it ever stop? Probably not. I mean the Apollo 11 spaceship only had 4 GB of RAM, that is less then the average cell phone. Only a few years later, there is now more memory in something we hold in our hand then the first spaceship that went to the moon. Kind of a scary thought huh? Yeah, it is.
Another topic that was brought up that I hear a lot about is the idea that people treat there electronic components better then they do their friends or ‘humans’ in general. I know as a college student at a university, I spend a mass amount of my time on the computer, but not for personal use. I am constantly checking email, doing homework ,researching for a paper, checking my work schedule, etc. I have a couple guy friends who are in some serious relationships, which is great, don’t get me wrong, but even when they aren’t hanging with their girlfriends, they are attached to their phone, which makes it like they aren’t even their anyway. As of late, I have been making a conscious effort to not be on my phone as much when out with friends or even things like when I am eating dinner with the family, etc.
The use of things like the internet has changed the World dramatically, essentially causing ‘Globalization’, which in the words of Thomas Friedman essentially means the world is now flat. If you own a t-shirt company in Southern California, your competition is not only other t-shirt companies in Southern California, but now all of the United States, and even International companies (thanks to the internet). I mean who wouldn’t rather hit “Add to Cart” instead of having to go out, looks through dozens of clothes racks, hit traffic, etc, when you could just do it online. Stories Lesson – It’s all about innovation.
For one, I have never created an avatar of myself and I have never played World of War Craft. The main reason why is because, it is not real. The reason why I believe that so many people create an avatar is because; they are not happy with themselves and see this world as too tough or cruel. So in their defense they retreat to another world where nothing can harm them and they can be however they want to be. In the end if all else fails, they can just as easily hit the restart button. Yet, there is no restart on life and there is no reason why some should be wasting some hours in world that doesn’t exist. Be present in the moment.
I found it pretty interesting about how people create different people on video games and other social websites. I saw a show on National Geographic about a man who lived an entire seprate life online and be saw that virtual life as his real life. He did all the things he cant normally do in real life without being judged. That show was the first thing I thought of when I read that, it is crazy how some people get so sucked into living a different life than their own.
This whole article was really interesting to me. As a video game connoisseur, I have always enjoyed games where I get the feeling of doing things that would never be done in reality. However, I feel like this is similar to Plato’s Cave for some people. It is almost like people will willingly lock themselves in a cave and look at shadows of reality, and be closed minded to what beauty there is so close to them if they were only to lift there heads. Sadly, some people are discouraged from enjoying reality and video games can be a nice escape. That is dangerous because then it could become an addiction I believe. A healthy network of real people is essential to being fulfilled in my opinion.
I think it is sad that some people have their lives so encompassed by the digital world. They abandoned reality and migrated to a virtual world where they can be themselves. Part of the problem is how unaccepting the world we live in is. When people are left out they seek alternatives to real life. Games such as ‘second life’ created another life for those who are ur satisfied.
I think that this blog very interesting and definitely brings up many thought provoking points. Yes, it is so true, we are so attuned to the computer and our technology, we forget and detach ourselves from reality and channel ourselves into the virtual world in front of us. I thought this was shocking- “Some heavy Internet users find themselves losing control to the virtual reality of the Web and losing contact with real people in their lives.” The section on respecting machines was a slap in the face and made me re-evaulate my own life. When I am talking to someone and am paying more attention to the cell phone in my lap then their conversation, how rude is that? I mean, how computer savvy were we actually 15 years ago- like this blog says…
“how we go about defining ourselves, to ourselves and others” is a question that every generation asks. And it is a question that every generation has to define for itself because we want so much to stand apart, stand out from our parents and previous generations who we feel got things so wrong. This generation (really a span of multiple generations from young to old) are going to the web. We are more often consulting facebook for empowerment, confidence, friendship, comfort, etc. than having sit down articulated conversations with friends and family about big decisions, self image, and self esteem. We are progressively getting more and more comfortable with separating ourselves from face-to-face personal contact. Long ago people had no choice but to discuss and talk and interact with those who were immediately around them. Then they could send letters. Then phone calls, emails, texts. Now all those devices seem relatively ancient. A quick facebook status update is equivalent to calling close friends for life updates. A poke on facebook is liking giving a hug to a friend in need. I personally prefer personal (in person) communication and being able to fully articulate myself, but I guess that’s why I became a Communication major.
Every week this blog brings so many different points of discussion. As someone who prefers not to be connected 24/7/365, I feel that America has become a nation of addicts. Market-driven technology has created this “demand” to spend $100/month to be always on. As a high school teacher I see students whose sole focus is whether they have their phones in their pocket, constantly sneaking a peek for text messages. When I leave school, I drive home dodging distracted housewives absorbed in the process of dialing or texting. If you’ve ever seen addicts, you’re familiar the way they live a distracted life, pre-occupied with the object of their addiction, whether it be drugs or the next text-message.
I found this article extremely interesting, and it brought up many points I had never considered before. People always say that technology is taking over, but I’ve never actually sat down to think about that idea. It makes so much sense that people are developing separate personalities for computer interactions and face-to-face interactions. I know for me I commonly use certain words or phrases when I chat online or text that I don’t typically use when I’m having a conversation with someone. Though that isn’t necessarily indicative of having separate identities, it is a small example of how people portray themselves different based on their form of communication. It’s sad to think that our generation and generations that will follow us will have this distorted view of normal friendships and relationships because of the impact technology has had on them. A person can sit at their home for days and not feel alone because of the interactions they can have through their phones or the Internet, but really they are just tricking themselves into believing this constitutes human interaction. People were designed to crave each others company, to live in communities, and to interact with each other. The Internet is turning into a way for people to get by without having those real interactions, and I can’t see how that is at all healthy.
One of the main points in this article was where it said: “When we are in the presence of a friend or loved one yet choose to focus our attention on the machine in our hand, we are in fact treating the machine with more respect; treating it as if it is more real than the person sitting next to us.” I personally know that this is the case. When I am with someone, but they are constantly on their phone and texting other people or answering phone calls, I feel devalued. I feel as though I am not worth the person’s time or effort. It is very disheartening. Also, people do act different on their facebooks than they do in person sometimes. I know that when I had my facebook I saw this happen with numerous amounts of people. It also brought down my self esteem because I was comparing my life to the lives I saw people flaunting on their facebooks. I decided for my own benefit, to delete my facebook and I am much happier with who I am. It makes me fear for what the future holds for young kids growing up in this culture and eventually my own kids. The internet is a very dangerous place, especially sites such as facebook. Since kids are not having to say the words to a person’s face, they can freely say whatever they want, but it still hurts the child. I feel like most of what is said over the internet would not be said in person because person 1 who wants to say something hurtful to person 2 would not have the guts to physically speak the words. So I definitely believe that people start to live two different lives/lifestyles because of the internet.
I completely agree that cell phones, the internet, and other electronics are ruining the relationships between human beings. Perhaps not ruining but causing a distance. I remember being younger and sitting down to dinner with my family having a real conversation about my day. Now I feel like with texting we can talk about our day’s events the moment they happen and when we sit and eat there is nothing left to say. It bothers me so much when I go into my brother room to have a conversation with him and he’s texting someone else or reading an article online. I could never get his full attention. I am guilty of texting someone while having a face to face conversation with someone else and I know that I am barely paying attention to that person because I am concentrating on my text message. As for Facebook, I always take other peoples posts with a grain of salt. It has become a tool for narcissism which I completely understand and I don’t let bother me anymore. One day I will delete it but for right now I find it very entertaining and I am too nosey to delete it lol
We all can do a better job balancing in-person interactions with online interactions, Erica. That’s a challenge, isn’t it?
Whitney, it is distracting — not to mention rude — to be with someone in person who is more interested in conversing with someone on their smartphone.
Thanks for the thoughtful response, Kellie. We are in a fight for one-on-one interpersonal communication, but sometimes it does seem like the machines are taking over our lives.
Nick, more and more users are developing avatars and going to places they would only dream about going in real life.
Alan,
Thanks for the thoughtful post on the digital world and how some are turning to it to replace the real world.
Micah, thanks for the thoughtful response to the video game post. Like everything on the Web, we can find some needed escape at times, just as we do in our leisure time away from the Web. Balance seems to emerge as the key thought for most of us.
Levi, Thanks for the thoughtful comments about “Alone in our Togetherness.” You raise some interesting points about innovation and our reactions to it.
Crystal, people do tend to find it much easier to be someone else when they’re on the web, so much so that avatars are being created all the time by many users. Thanks for the thoughtful reaction to, “Alone in Our Togetherness.”
Ashley, thanks for the thought you gave to this post, “Alone in our Togetherness.” The next post after this shows some of the upside of using social networks.
I am enjoying reading this blog and it is very true about it. We are already losing our self-control to computer. Why I know because I am one of them, too. We have been spending so many time on the computer, internet, and our mobile phone. They have make us really convenient to have communicate with others, but it also makes us more lazy and we less important to others. Why I say it because it is too easy to find your friends now. It makes us feel like, “oh, I really want to talk with you, but I am too lazy to meet up with you.” It makes us start losing our respect to others and we will become lazier and lazier. The good part about it is we still have connection with each others, but the bad part is we are slowly losing our respectful to others.
This was definitely a thought provoking article as I was reflecting on my own life and the way I use virtual media to communicate with people today. I think that Facebook, texting, e-mail, or anything like it has become such a big and widely accepted part of our culture today that we do not even realize when we are using it. I will just instinctively look at my phone first thing when I get up in the morning. I do not even think about– it has become second nature. This style of living I believe has taken away from interpersonal communication. I noticed the other day when talking to a prospective employer that I would rather have a phone interview than in-person. Technology has definitely separated our society from past generations.
Brittany,
Good comment, and I think a lot of other people feel the same way about the way our interpersonal communication is changing as a result of the Web.
Interestingly, I think that I am going to take a different stance upon the article. I hear all the time about how the digital world especially video games are addicting and don’t foster real relationships, and is escapism from the real world. While I feel that some of these things are true,there are benefits to video games that many times we don’t realize. As a society as a whole, we are further becoming immersed into video games. As time passes more and more people are connecting themselves to games and especially through avatars. Games teach and inspire in ways that reality cannot. They unite people in ways that reality cannot. “Games satisfy a hunger for more satisfying work, a stronger sense of community, and for a more meaningful and engaging life.” Jane McGoningal A lot of this might seem like a gamer’s excuse to justify gaming. In a way yes and in a way no. I am reading a book called Reality is Broken by Jane McGonagil. In this book, it points out the benefits and uses that video games have and then takes these ideas and redirects it to how we can improve and make our own individual lives better in reality. Through the use of avatars, it can inspire us to improve our own stats as we level up in reality. The Nike+ running system takes the avatar (Mini) to a new level as users can see how running improves the health of their avatar and inspires them personally to run more. Ideas like leveling up and getting achievements also inspire a person. I’m still in the process of reading the book, but it really has offered insight into how games can change the world
Another interesting blog that i found to be very insightful when looking into this age of techology. I thought it was very interesting how it was talked abou t how we use avatar to create the person we are through technology. When we look at different video games or either on social networks we create an image of yourselves. With that we can be any person that we want to and nobody will ever really know. Many times especially college students are able to create any person they want to be, i did find this article to be very insightful.