On Wolves and Web Addicts
So there you are, sitting alone in the late-night hours of your home where the silence may be deafening if you’re living alone or your spouse has long since gone to bed.
It’s been awhile since you’ve heard from anyone via e-mail or phone call, and the thought occurs to you: Does anyone still know I exist?
A female Mexican gray wolf threads her way through an Arizona forest, conjuring up the image of a lone-wolf Internet addict who isolates herself from other relationships. Research is mixed on how true that image really is, though. (AP Photo/Arizona Game and Fish Department)
It’s too late to call anyone to find out, and you may have convinced yourself they don’t want to hear from you anyway. So you determine there are three options:
- Turn on the radio, the thing that’s been collecting dust ever since the computer came to live with you, and call in to a late-night talk show. At least that guy/woman may listen to you, and you can have at least the appearance of interacting with another human being.
- Log on to your computer and head to Facebook (everyone has at least a few friends active, even though most of the chatter is people talking about themselves), or head to a chatroom. Maybe even give the new and daring Chatroulette a try. Randomness dictates you will find chat partners there.
- You can go wake up your spouse, if you have one, or your kid, if you have one, and demand they engage you in conversation over hot chocolate. Good luck with that.
As an absolute last resort, you can call the person who absolutely has to talk with you, and that would be your mother. When a woman gives birth to a new kid, there’s a contract that comes attached like a toe tag to the baby: You must love this person at all times, and listen when it calls you out of loneliness at 3 a.m.
When there's no one else to talk to, and when all else fails, Mom is always there. (AP Photo/Ermindo Armino)
And that shows … what?
But what does it prove that your mom loves you? Is that a big surprise?
So most of us choose Option No. 2 these days because of its ease and because there is a ready supply of people out there like us doing the same thing, even at 3 a.m. All time zones are not created equal, especially when you toss in the hundreds of millions who live beyond American borders. And, you fantasize, there’s always that lonely girl or guy over in Uzbekistan who may be Webbing tonight.
The question is this: How many of us are taking that practice and moving it into daytime hours and prime-time evening hours as well?
How many of us are opting out of interacting with real flesh-and-blood people – who can sometimes be prickly and tough to interact with – and choosing instead to take ourselves into the world of the virtual unknown?
An isolating experience?
Conventional wisdom suggests that the Internet is, in fact, causing such isolation and withdrawal. There are also some studies that have suggested this, but then they have been contradicted by other studies.
Isn’t research great?
For example, a CNN.com health report from a decade ago noted, “A growing body of research suggests that excessive Internet use carries some of the same risks as gambling: It can lead to social isolation, depression and failure at work or school.”
The article, by Barbara Jamison of WebMD, continues, “Some people – particularly those who were isolated to begin with – have forged healthy friendships by meeting kindred souls online. But using the Internet too much can hurt face-to-face relationships. And psychologists say an increasing number of people are using the Internet so obsessively that they are ruining their marriages and careers.”
A kind of addiction
The data comes from a 1999 survey of 1,700 Internet users which was presented at a meeting of the American Psychological Association. Six percent of those surveyed met the criteria for addiction, Jamison said. “They felt a building tension before the act, a rush of relief afterwards, and distorting of mood and bingeing.”
The heavy use of the Web has even spawned a cottage industry within psychology: the Internet addiction specialist, a therapist who often prescribes antidepressant medication and putting your computer out on the curb for the trash haulers to pick up.
A 2009 Pew Study found that mobile phone texters actually have large social networks, and are not as isolated as previously thought. These findings seem especially true among younger phone users like these middle school students. (AP Photo/Deseret News, Kristin Murphy)
More recently, however, a 2009 study by the Pew Internet & American Life Project reported somewhat the opposite of the 1999 survey, although it included mobile phone use as well as Internet use. The study was carried out by researchers at the University of Pennsylvania’s Annenberg School of Communication.
“People who use modern information and communication technologies have larger and more diverse social networks, according to new national survey findings,” the Pew press release states. “These new findings challenge fears that use of new technologies has contributed to a long-term increase in social isolation in the United States.”
Among this study’s findings:
- On average, the size of people’s discussion networks is 12 percent larger among mobile phone users, 9 percent larger for those who share photos online, and 9 percent bigger for those who use instant messaging.
- The diversity of people’s core networks – their closest and most significant confidants – tends to be 25 percent larger for mobile phone users, 15 percent larger for basic Internet users, and even larger for frequent Internet users, those who use instant messaging, and those who share digital photos online.
- Americans are not as isolated as has been previously reported and social isolation has hardly changed since 1985. Only 6 percent of the adult population has no one with whom they can discuss important matters or who they consider to be “especially significant” in their life.
Two different studies, a decade apart, reporting two different sets of results. Don’t be surprised if the study done in 2019 reverses the data from the 2009 survey.
Ultimately, each of us has to decide for ourselves how much to immerse ourselves in virtual relationships on the Web as opposed to real ones in-person. Communication being what it is, we have fewer chances to detect all-important nonverbal cues from chatrooms and cell phones than from sitting down and chatting with a friend face to face.
It’s called interpersonal communication, and it can’t be done on Facebook.
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Comments
I would have to agree with pretty much everything you said here because when I get bored and cant sleep or I get bored at home and cant find anything to do, I will go on facebook or just surf the web. But back when I was younger and didnt know how to use the internet and surf the web for things I would actually go outside and play with my buddies and go knock on their doors and have a face to face conversatioon with them. I would have to agree this statement “that excessive Internet use carries some of the same risks as gambling”. I hope that this whole excessive interent use does not have some of the same effects that excessive gambiling has on people even though I do agree with that statement because i have seen how some people use the interent almost to the point where they are abusing it and over using it like gambling. THe internet is a vital resource to us today and i feel like we as americans should not over use that resource.
I have to agree that chatting online and texting is something that is causing us to loose that interpersonal communication. Even though we can use emoticons such as smiley faces to indicate happiness, sometimes a message can be completely misread. Because you don’t hear the person’s vocal tone, or emphasis, or expression in their face it can be sometimes hard to tell if they are being sarcastic or completely serious. And this can definitely cause problems in a relationship if an email or text is read the wrong way. However, when I am up in the middle of the night and it is too late to call someone, facebook is a good alternative. There will usually be a few people on that I know personally. I make sure all my friends on facebook are people I know because I want to have a face to face, personal relationship with them. I think that chatting on facebook and texting is a really great tool to help keep us connected if we don’t take advantage of it and isolate ourselves. If we maintain our relationships by seeing them in person, the virtual communication we also do will only increase our connectedness. It can be a little overbearing at times because everyone seems to know everyone’s business, for example Twitter. Do we really need to know everything you are doing and everywhere you’re going? I don’t think it’s necessary for people to know every little detail of our lives because we loose that interpersonal disclosure. If people can find out everything about you on facebook, then what’s the point of getting to know that person face to face: think of social penetration theory and how that is changing. Yet, we are a generation that likes to know what is going on. We want to be informed and the internet is the fasted way to stay connected. It has its negative and positive aspects. It’s just all in how we determine to use it.
I could not agree with you more. There are many nights where I rely on facebook to keep me entertained for hours. When my friends are asleep and no one is awake 3 in the morning, you can always find someone like you on facebook who is up.Although, conversations face to face is more better because you can see a persons actions and see how they are feeling. Although personally I feel face to face interactions and conversations are the most healtiest in a relationship, there are sometimes not enough hours in the day to do so. Also, Many websites in general can keep a person entertained, reading an article on NBA.com keeps me more entertained than reading a book or a newspaper, even though it is delivering news. Middle of the night when an earthquake strikes, you can rely on the internet to give you the updated information in a matter of seconds. I think the internet is the quickest and most effective way of keeping in touch with people and stuff going on around the world.
Well, I think it is safe to say that the Internet has effectively lessened the frequency of face-to-face communication. It is sad to say, but I think a lot of people my age use site like Facebook as an excuse to communicate online where it is easy rather than in person. These type of social networking sites have made “meeting” people easier, but I personally feel that it can be a rather meaningless relationship. A person can be anyone they want on the Internet, but it is more difficult to fake something face to face. Don’t get me wrong. Facebook, etc., have a lot of positive qualities such as staying in touch with people far away and reaching a mass audience in a short amount of time, but I think it also has negative effects like this post talks about. Us social network users have to be really careful not to overrate the online world, and replace it for reality
This is interesting because I do feel many people resort to maintaining most of their relationships through facebook, or actually even prefer the less connective way of socializing. The funny thing is, even though I see other people doing it, I have never really had any desire to be on facebook all the time, or conduct my social relationships via the internet. I have fallen into the texting trend, however, i rarely text people just for conversation purposes. Usually texting for me consists of meeting times, or to get across simple information quickly. Having entire conversations through texting just feels ridiculous. Yet, I know that is just me. I’ve never been able to spend longer than 20-30 minutes on facebook before getting bored, and I always keep my facebook chat off so people don’t keep me on any longer. I am finding how totally rare this is though. I’d just rather watch tv or spend time with friends in person than sit on my computer for hours and hours at a time.
You hit the nail on the head. This is spreading like wild fire. People are most def resorting to communicating via the internet or text messaging. They are x-ing out the options of simply calling someone on the phone and talking to some one face-to-face. This sort of behavior can be destructive the communication skills. They might become better writers, but they could be socially awkward. The internet can be such a great tool for research, shopping, talking to that loved one who lives in another state, or even just to play games on. But the web has developed an addictive hobbie that not very many people can give up. For example, the realistic game on Facebook called Farmville has sucked millions into it with the incentive of crops having to take hours or days to grow. This keeps the user coming back day after day being consumed by it. This creates a zombie like person to the people around them. It’s an addiction that can only be cured by setting limits to computer time.
This article is very interesting to me because I have seen the effects of the Internet and Facebook first hand. When I first attended Boise State I joined Facebook like basically every other college freshmen. Soon enough, I began checking my Facebook daily. Then daily became multiple times a day. The more I became consumed with Facebook the more I saw my grades dropping. Soon enough, I realized I needed to stop checking my Facebook because my grades were slipping and so were my relationships with my family back home. Since then, I have only began to use Facebook this year and I rarely go on because I am aware of the potential dangers.
I think that social networking can create a rare form of isolationism. Although we are communicating with other individuals, it is through an electronic medium. That is opposed to the interpersonal norm that has been the status quo for human behavior since Adam and Eve. Eve did not text Adam to “come eat from this sweet tree! We are totally BFF, I’ll ttyl Adam!” Interpersonal communication is becoming a lost art. Although we are now able to communicate internationally in real-time whenever we want to, it is only through a keyboard and mouse, and in some rare cases a web cam. The constant need to feel like we are in the social loop is a bit of a curse. There is always someone to talk to, but there is never an excuse to not engage in face to face interaction. Electronic communication is a great tool, but it should not be our only means of communication.
What a well said piece. Social networks are contagious! They have the ability to pull us in and keep us there for long amounts of time. It seems to become a habit that when ever I have a free minute, I log on and read facebook from either my phone or computer. Even when in conversation with others, I will be engaged in some sort of connection via facebook or text messaging. Amazing to see what we are all so into and we don’t always realize it. Very interesting….
When attempting to take surveys, especially ones dealing with the Internet, it always becomes difficult to obtain a sample that correctly displays how users in their entirety think. While some believe that it strives to connect people, others make the argument that it isolates people. With the growing trend of social networking one can only believe that peer-to-peer connection is definitely working. However, there will always be users who use the Internet differently according to what they access. The deep and meaningful conversations most people advocate may not always take place in front of a computer screen. While relationships require face time between partners, the Internet is in no way a substitute for meaningful face-to-face conversations… yet…
Internet addiction specialist? Wow! You think that’s bad, I know people that fast from facebook during Lent. It has gotten out of control. People text me with the most random and mundane things. And at times, I reply with, “You couldn’t have called to tell me that?” I agree, it takes the interpersonalaspect out of communication. Not only that, you can’t hear the person’s tone of voice or read their demeanor without face-to-face communication. I can’t recall the number of times that I misinterpreted what someone has said to me and jumped to conclusions.
I think it’s funny how a person can have a million friends on facebook, and yet can feel completely and utterly alone. The internet was supposed to be a method of furthering connection with each other. And, I agree with the article when it states that the internet can become a means of isolation from the rest of the world. It can become a mean to separate one’s with everything that is real.
I think our society is losing all personal face value. People flocking to chat rooms and text messages to hide themselves from the people around them. Back in the days or our parents, when you wanted to dump someone, you told them face to face. Now a days, you shoot them a text or change your facebook relationship status, very sad if you ask me
Even though face to face communication is better than social networking,communicating over the internet is still better than not communicating at all. There has to be some kind of balance. It is interesting that the study shows how people who use communication technologies have a wider social frame. Mobile phone has its benefits and its disadvantages.
Hi Jim,
Fascinating. In my J101 class, about 20 students said they spend three or more hours daily on Facebook. We also watched a documentary about how gaming addiction is a huge problem in South Korea. Intriguing/Scary…
Here’s the link to an AP story:
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jHqH3wgIItT7pxlEEg-JJao77ecgD9F85FH80
Congratulations on the Ball State job.
Kathleen