I was about to write a beer-related post when I got home from the office tonight. Then “The Bachelorette” came on TV. And then I felt compelled to write something I’ve been thinking for years. First, yes, I watch “The Bachelorette.” Some times you just watch shows that your wife watches. Honestly, though, I like watching “The Bachelorette” or “The Bachelor” because most nights it’s like watching a train wreck. You know it’s terrible, you just can’t help but look. Well this season of “The Bachelorette” is no different.
Our bachelorette this year is Ashley, a re-tread from last year’s “The Bachelor.” Ashley was cast off last season at least in part because she couldn’t overcome her insecurity that the bachelor would actually like her. She revealed tonight that she was terrified it would be a bad idea to come on the show this year because the guys might not like her. With all honesty — and I’m backed up by Mrs. Beagle on this one — Ashley is just OK looking. I mean, by no means is there anything wrong with her. She’s cute. But, that’s about it. Either way, on tonight’s show, one of the dates was a group date where the men took part in a roast of Ashley. All in good fun, of course. Until one of the guys cracked a joke about being upset that one of the hotter cast-offs from last year’s show wasn’t picked as the bachelorette. Naturally, this devastates Ashley.
To top that off, Ashley admits she’s falling for a guy named Bentley. Bentley has already admitted to viewers — but not Ashley — that he has no interest in her, going so far as to call her an “ugly duckling” compared to another girl on last season’s “The Bachelor.” He’s just stringing her along. Bentley eventually takes himself off the show, but not before repeatedly disparaging Ashley to viewers. I can only imagine what this poor girl will think when she actually watches the show and sees all the things Bentley said about her. If you’ve been watching, you know exactly what I mean. It will not be pretty.
So the show wraps up, Ashley is devastated and humiliated — both on the show and most likely in real life because she’ll be watching the show for the first time and seeing how Bentley just absolutely ripped her apart — and it’s about to go to commercial. But first we get a voiceover from the show’s host, telling viewers that if they’d like to date the next bachelor, go to abc.com, etc., etc. And this reminds me of the one thing I’ve thought about this show for years:
For the sake of all that is holy, who in the hell would want to go on this show? Let’s break down what happens to pretty much everyone who appears on “The Bachelor” or “The Bachelorette”:
1. Utter humiliation
2. Emotional ruin
3. Public devastation
4. More humiliation
That’s about it. Then you throw in the fact that it’s apparently become fashionable for guys to go on the show for the “wrong reasons” (Read: 15 minutes of fame), and the fact the producers have begun casting absolute whackos (Read: the guy who wore a mask for the first three weeks of this season’s show or the girl last season who had her real teeth carved into vampire teeth) and again you have to wonder if it’s even worth the fancy dates and 15 minutes of notoriety. My take: You go on that show, you get all the humiliation and devastation you can handle.