Who among us wouldn’t want our favorite college football team to play in the Poulan Weed-Eater Bowl? Not saying you’d prefer a trip to the Poulan Weed-Eater Bowl over the Cotton Bowl or a BCS bowl or anything, but isn’t it just fun to say Poulan Weed-Eater Bowl as many times as possible? Bowl games like the now-defunct Poulan Weed-Eater Independence Bowl have actually become a staple of the holiday season. Personally, I look forward to bowl season each year to see what the most horrific bowl name will be. In that spirit, I bring you The Thirsty Beagle’s inaugural Worst Bowl Game Name Rankings! We’ll break this down from least horrific to most horrific.
35. Tostitos BCS National Championship Game: It doesn’t get any better than the national championship game. And since practically every game has a sponsor, someone had to go first.
34. Rose Bowl Game Presented by Vizio: I would have put this one at 35, because you gotta love the Rose Bowl and you gotta love a game that refers to itself as a game, but the whole “presented by” thing knocked it down a notch.
33. Tostitos Fiesta Bowl: Props to Tostitos for ponying up for not one, but two bowl game sponsorships.
32. Outback Bowl: I gotta give credit to a bowl game with only two words in its name. On a side note, am I the only one who feels like they should play this game in Australia?
31. Texas Bowl: I’ll give it up to a bowl game that doesn’t even appear to have a sponsor.
30. New Mexico Bowl: I’ll give it up to a bowl game that doesn’t even appear to have a sponsor, part two.
29. Insight Bowl: Narrowly beat out the Foresight Bowl and the Hindsight Bowl when they were deciding on names.
28. Valero Alamo Bowl: Valero sounds like kind of a Tex-Mex-type name, so it seems to fit with San Antonio.
27. AT&T Cotton Bowl: That’s the way to keep it simple.
26. Allstate Sugar Bowl: Keeping it simple, part two.
25. Discover Orange Bowl: Keeping it simple, part three
24. Progressive Gator Bowl: Sounded better than the Stuck in Our Old Ways Gator Bowl.
23. Capital One Bowl: Credit for not tacking a random city onto the game’s name.
22. Chick-fil-A Bowl: If watching this game means seeing more cows in commercials, then bring it on!
21. Hyundai Sun Bowl: Hello random sponsor with no obvious ties to the El Paso area.
20. AutoZone Liberty Bowl: If your car breaks down outside the stadium, there’s worse places you could be.
19. Sheraton Hawaii Bowl: I have no idea what hotel the football teams will stay at for this game.
18. Champs Sports Bowl: I’ve got nothing.
17. Little Caesars Bowl: Something tells me you won’t be able to get a $5 large pizza at the game. Maybe a $5 slice.
16. New Era Pinstripe Bowl: Just because the game is in New York doesn’t mean you’re obligated to call it the Pinstripe Bowl. Just sayin’.
15. TicketCity Bowl: Better than the Get Your Overpriced Bowl Tickets at TicketCity.com Bowl.
14. Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl: There are actually several brands of helicopters I prefer over Bell helicopters, thank you very much.
13. Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl: Here’s your award winner for Bowl That Was Once Fairly Prestigious But Now is Sullied With a Random Sponsor.
12. Military Bowl Presented by Northrop Grumman: This game doesn’t have enough street cred to use “presented by” in its name.
11. R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl: Random+sponsor alert!
10. San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl: Do you have to live in San Diego County to join the credit union?
9. Maaco Bowl Las Vegas: Maybe next year I’ll go to the OSU Football Game Stillwater.
8. AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl: Just plain old AdvoCare Independence Bowl wouldn’t have worked? You just HAD to throw in the V100, didn’t you?!
7. Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl: When you’re sponsoring a bowl that already has three words in its name, it doesn’t help to double the amount of words in the game’s title.
6. Meineke Car Care Bowl: I don’t know about you, but when I think of tradition and prestige, this is the first bowl name that jumps to mind.
5. BBVA Compass Bowl: Never heard of BBVA, and I’m not sure what compasses have to do with bowl games. Unless you’re trying to figure out how to be a north-south runner.
4. GoDaddy.com Bowl: Automatic low points for naming your bowl after a website.
3. uDrove Humanitarian Bowl: Quick, describe the company philosophy of uDrove in less than 10 seconds. What? You can’t? I can’t believe you’ve never heard of uDrove before!
2. Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl: Would have been better as the Kraft Mac & Cheese Bowl.
And, drum roll please…
1. Beef ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl St. Petersburg: This one hits all the low points. Random sponsor with a random name (Beef ‘O’ Brady’s is a chain of Irish-pub-themed, family friendly sports bars in the Southeast and Midwest) with a city name randomly tacked on to the bowl’s name. Poulan Weed-Eater Bowl, I think you have some competition.