I think it’s pretty clear that The Thirsty Beagle is a football genius. In this week’s (Lack of) Power Poll rankings, I’m going to include some comments I made last week at this time. Call me a college football visionary if you must…
1. Baylor (3-3, 0-2, lost to Iowa State 24-10; next, vs. Oklahoma State) What TTB said last week: “There may not be three more wins on Baylor’s schedule.” Certainly, there may not be three more wins. Especially after losing to Iowa State. There’s something very reassuring about knowing the Bears are who we thought they were.
2. Texas A&M (3-3, 0-2, lost to Kansas State 62-14; next, at Texas Tech) What TTB said last week: “The Aggies offensive line looked like a certain variety of cheese. That’d be Swiss.” And this week? How about allowing six sacks and totaling minus-13 yards rushing. And this was not against the likes of Alabama’s defense. This was against a team that lost to Louisiana Lafayette!
3. Kansas State (4-3, 2-1, beat Texas A&M 62-14; next, vs. Colorado) It’s not worth repeating anything I wrote about KSU last week; I slammed them. That must have shamed the team and rallied them for a forceful performance against the now-woeful Aggies. And now, three games into their conference schedule, the Wildcats lead the Big 12 North. These are crazy days, my friends.
4. Iowa State (4-3, 1-2, beat Baylor 24-10; next, at Nebraska) What TTB said last week: “Iowa State may have a more realistic shot at bowl eligibility than Baylor. Who would have thought that at the start of the year?”A lot of people are thinking that now. Somehow, Iowa State needs only two wins in its last five games to become bowl eligible, which pretty much was deemed unachievable at the start of the season.
5. Missouri (4-2, 0-2, lost to Oklahoma State 33-17; next, vs. Texas) What TTB said last week: “Whether is was the weather or their gimpy quarterback or their complete absence of a running game (91 yards), they didn’t look very impressive.” The weather didn’t hamper Missouri against OSU. Their gimpy quarterback and complete absence of a running game (68 yards) certainly did. In defense of the Tigers gimpy quarterback, Missouri ran so many empty-backfield formations, it’s no surprise they didn’t rack up running yards. They hardly tried. And speaking of the quarterback, will it take a severed foot for Gary Pinkel to put the back-up in? Gabbert could hardly walk, let alone use the correct mechanics to throw a football.
6. Nebraska (4-2, 1-1, lost to Texas Tech 31-10; next, vs. Iowa State) What TTB said last week: “As bad as Missouri looked, Nebraska looked just as bad — if not worse — for three quarters.” Well, the Huskers decided to go for the gusto and look terrible for all four quarters this week. I know Bo Pellini is a defensive-minded kind of guy, but surely someone on the staff knows when you’re down by three touchdowns in the fourth quarter you don’t need to be huddling and using up the whole play clock on every snap?
7. Kansas (5-1, 1-1, lost to Colorado 34-30; next, vs. Oklahoma) What TTB said last week: “Let me be clear: the Jayhawks have not been tested.” Lo and behold, the first time they were tested, they lost! And to the team coined last week by The Thirsty Beagle as the Lower Buffs, on account of how they would pretty much rate below anyone. With Missouri, Nebraska and Kansas losing in the same week, the Big 12 North’s reputation just took another big hit.
8. Colorado (2-4, 1-1, beat Kansas 34-30; next, at Kansas State) What TTB said last week: “The look on (coach Dan Hawkins’) face Saturday was somewhere between ‘I can’t wait to get out of here’ and ‘It’ll be hard to never talk to my son again, but at this point, I think that’s for the best.’” It’ll especially be hard to talk to his son now that the team’s new starter at quarterback led the Lower Buffs to their first big win of the year. But don’t get too high on that mountain air, CU fans: Beating the no. 17 team in the country is no excuse to storm the field.
9. Oklahoma (3-3, 1-1, lost to Texas 16-13; next, at Kansas) What TTB said last week: “What’ll happen when the Sooners play live bodies on Saturday against Texas?” Apparently, not a whole lot of good stuff. I’m pretty sure the Sooners have a good defense, but an offense that averaged more than 50 points a game last season now can’t protect its quarterback and has scored a total of 46 in its three losses this year.
10. Texas Tech (5-2, 2-1, beat Nebraska 31-10; next, vs. Texas A&M) What TTB said last week: “I’ve never played quarterback, but since apparently anyone can throw multiple touchdowns for the Red Raiders, I should be good for at least 300 yards and five touchdown passes.” Texas Tech’s back-up quarterback is 6-foot-4 and 175 pounds. He may be the thinnest college football player of all time. But it hasn’t stopped him from averaging four touchdown passes a game and pretty much turning Texas Tech into an unstoppable juggernaut.
11. Oklahoma State (5-1, 2-0, beat Missouri 33-17; next, at Baylor) What TTB said last week: “Several receivers got into the act with big third-down catches and the offensive line appears to be gelling a little. Both good signs going forward.” Against Missouri, the Cowboys allowed zero sacks and six players had receptions. All the sudden, OSU’s chance of making a run at the Big 12 South title looks a little more promising.
12. Texas (6-0, 3-0, beat Oklahoma 16-13; next, at Missouri) What TTB said last week: “What a couple weeks ago looked like a sure-thing Texas win in the Red River game got a little dicey over the weekend.” And of course, it was more than a little dicey. Texas impressed exactly nobody with its offense, and was surely fortunate that Sam “Porcelain Shoulder” Bradford went down early. The Longhorns perch at the bottom of this poll is a precarious one.