It’s the Great F*!~$%^ Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
I love the classic Charlie Brown cartoons that come on this time of year. As a youngster, that was always a big deal — checking the TV listings to find out when they were going to be on. And if you missed it, that was it. You typically got one shot with the Great Pumpkin at Halloween, the popcorn and toast Thanksgiving dinner and the Christmas pageant gone awry. But this is the technological age people. Now I present to you the Charlie Brown holiday special three-pack DVD set. Which I bought for my 3-year-old son. For like $40. And that he watches on a loop day after day. But there’s something I didn’t realize all these years until now. You know, now that I’ve been subjected to mind-numbing exposure. For an impressionable 3-year-old who you don’t want running around calling people stupid, these specials are pretty crass. Any time Lucy opens her mouth, it’s to call someone stupid, or a blockhead, or to threaten to slug someone. I can’t count how many times this conversation has carried out at my house the past few weeks:
Son: But dad, they said stupid, and stupid’s a bad word.
Thirsty Beagle: Yes, that is a bad word. We shouldn’t say that word. I’m not sure why they keep saying that.
So now I’ve got a 3-year-old who’s probably going to end up calling everyone stupid and who will likely eventually be sent to the principal’s office for calling someone a blockhead and threatening to slug them.
Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown. You stupid blockhead.
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