In case of rapture, please feed my dogs

I am so excited. I’ve been waiting for months to write about this: how people plan to take care of their pets after the rapture. Is there a company for that? You better believe it. Click here to read my column. Here are the first few paragraphs:

I’m pretty sure my dogs will do the same things before and after the rapture.

One will be napping and the other will be trying to sneak off to chew one of my shoes.

I’m not sure how the rapture would go down, but I imagine rivers of lava dotted with drifting boulders. My old dog would be asleep on his dog bed on one of those boulders. The young dog would leapfrog away with one of my flip-flops in her mouth.

I guess that’s what they’ll be doing Saturday morning.

The world’s ending Friday, you know. True story.

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