His case is as clear as mud.

“Incomprehensible,” U.S. District Judge Denny Chin said in a brief order.

“He seems to be complaining that he placed a series of calls to the bank in New York and received inconsistent information from a ‘Spanish woman,’” the judge wrote. “He apparently alleges that checks have been rejected because of incomplete routing numbers.”

Don Mecoy
Business Writer

Life has compiled a photo gallery from its archives of some of the dumbest ideas that inventors created in the 1900s. Many of the photos are priceless, and the captions contain just enough snark. About a gunslinging robot, Life writes: “It’s always easy to question the wisdom of giving a robot a gun, but also making him quick on the draw is just irresponsible.”

Of an anti-bandit bag with a bottom designed to collapse and dump the bag’s contents when its owner is threatened, Life writes: “That’ll stop those thieves from getting at the contents of your bag! No, wait. It won’t.”

Don Mecoy
Business Writer

I always grease Bobby H., the bellman at my hotel, and on my first night, within minutes of the pass, he suggested that I might request a room upgrade. He even gave me a room number to ask for. Another twenty at the desk and I was out of two queens, snug in my one king. The next day, we ran the same drill, and wham, I was in the minisuite. The twenty after that, I was in a full suite with a view of Times Square. We used a different desk guy each day. When you’re passing twenties, Bobby H. told me, you have to spread the wealth. “It’s a one-time trick,” he said. “You don’t want anyone to catch on.” Somehow he managed to take a twenty each time, having caught on fully some time ago.

However, Chiarella is a bit less successful in buying favors during a trip west. (via kottke)

Don Mecoy
Business Writer

Dear MR BAGGINS, Fellow Conspirator,

I am Thorin Oakenshield, descendant of Thrain the Old and grandson of Thror who was King under the Mountain. I am writing you to discuss our plans, our ways, means, policy and devices for rescuing our treasure from the dragon Smaug.

During the reign of Thror our kingdom was a prosperous one. Kings used to send for our smiths, and reward even the least skillful most richly. Fathers would beg us to take their sons as apprentices, and pay us handsomely, especially in food-supplies, which we never bothered to grow or find for ourselves. Altogether those were good days for us, and the poorest of us had money to spend and to lend, and leisure to make beautiful things just for the fun of it, not to speak of the most marvellous and magical toys, the like of which is not to be found in the world now-a-days.

(via boingboing, with a hat tip to Robb Billy)

Don Mecoy
Business Writer

Mary Poppins vs. Dr. Strange: The Cloak of the Vishanti vs. A Spoonful of Sugar! The Faltine dimension vs. the racetrack full of penguins! “Abracadabra” vs. “Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious”!

Spider-Man vs. Jiminy Cricket: Seized by arachnid instinct, the way-out web-slinger craves cricket meat! Will an enchanted umbrella be enough to shock him back to his spider-senses?

Hercules vs Hercules: The battle the public domain laws demanded! Not a dream! Not a hoax! Not covered under the Sonny Bono Copyright Term Extension Act!

Colossus vs. Pinocchio: The building materials who walk like men! Who will triumph: Italian wood… or Russian steel? There’s no flesh in this supersaga – but plenty of blood!

Wolverine vs. Tramp: One is a scruffy loner with heroic instincts and a heart of gold! The other has giant adamantium claws! Who will win the good girl’s heart?

Bambi’s Mother vs Uncle Ben: “With great power comes great responsibility” – or, “If you’d just been a better kid, I’d still be alive.” The neuroses of tomorrow begin here!

More here.

Don Mecoy
Business Writer

Don Mecoy
Business Writer

“World’s Worst Person Decides To Go Into Marketing”

Don Mecoy
Business Writer

As we prepare for Wednesday’s Free Float day at Sonic, a few pointers for someone who survived and enjoyed the 2007 promotion. There will be tremendous traffic at your local Sonic. (Oklahoma City-based Sonic plans to give away about 3.5 million of the treats). The event lasts from 8 p.m. until at least midnight, so a later arrival might find less traffic. The floats are pretty small at just 10 ounces. The tray our floats arrived upon was awash in root beer, and the cups were a little sticky.

However, the stuff is free — no purchase necessary. It does taste good. In 2007, parking bays opened up pretty quickly as folks tended to leave as soon as their orders arrived. And the overworked car hops were in good spirits, and gladly provided extra napkins. I probably won’t participate again unless I can round up a minivan full of kids, which is what I did last time.

Beginning Thursday, Sonic will offer a free large drink with the order of any combo meal.

Don Mecoy
Business Writer

Don Mecoy
Business Writer

“Will we be Zimbabwe or will we be Japan?” he asks.

(hat tip to Edmond money manager Nick Massey)

Don Mecoy
Business Writer