Smashing Pumpkins LLC Now Accepting Applications

Now that Jimmy Chamberlin has apparently decided that The Smashing Pumpkins is not a growth industry for him, Billy Corgan is now conducting auditions. The cattle call for stick men and women will be held April 10 in Los Angeles. Those interested in keeping time in a ’90s nostalgia act who have a yearning for the rock ‘n’ roll version of working for Anna Wintour, e-mail photos, background information and Web videos of your performance to pumpkinsdrummer@gmail.com.
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HOW MANY MORE TIMES MUST I RELIVE MY SONS KIDNAPPING!!