Welcome to StaticBlog’s 51st Annual Grammy Awards Live Blog
Yes, it’s that time of the year again, when your faithful servants at NewsOK.com and The Oklahoman spend their evenings working over the minutiae of awards shows. You love it, we feel like we’ve been flattened by enormous trophies after it, but I truly enjoy our snarky little town hall meetings of pop culture. I’ve had my Boca on an English muffin (yes, I know — dirty), and I’ve got a 1 liter Sigg bottle at the ready — my co-worker Brandy told me to stay hydrated, mainly because she knows how these things start to read during the third hour, and it was her subtle hint to stay away from the hooch.
In addition to all the musical fun, we’ll be keeping track of the number of obligatory appearances by actors from CBS shows. This network flogs its actors artlessly at these things, so watch out for Dennis Haysbert of “The Unit” presenting “Best Crypto-Calypso Dance Mix Mash-Up By A Female Country Singer.”
Let’s have it, kids!
7 p.m. U2 plays “Get On Your Boots” to kick things off. I’m having difficulty warming to this song, mainly because the verses don’t remind me of Elvis Costello’s “Pump It Up” as much as they remind me of the Escape Club’s “Wild Wild West.” I’m sure I’ll come around, because at least they’re back to trying new things after wallowing in classicist You Too for the past decade. Man, I’m glad will.i.am didn’t produce this noise.
7:06 p.m. Whitney Houston keeps it together long enough to announce R&B Album, then sucks up to Clive Davis, who pulled her butt out of the fire. And the winner is…
Jennifer Hudson. Nicely done after a rotten year, but regardless of personal circumstances, Raphael Saadiq deserved this one. “The Way I See It” is phenomenal.
7:08 p.m. Dwayne Johnson thinks that Grammy stands for “Great Recording Artists Making Music… Yes!” As opposed to “Gross Rhetoric Always Makes Me Yakk!” Apparently, Katy Perry just threw up a little, too.
7:10 p.m. J.T. thinks he loves The Rock, then introduces my minister, the Rev. Al Green, who launches into “Let’s Stay Together” with Timber along for the ride. Justin is only improving as a performer, and they can match each other falsetto for falsetto, and Keith Urban acquits himself nicely on the guitar solo, but I think just about anyone would feel a little overmatched in the presence of Al.
7:21 p.m. Simon Baker (Obligatory CBS Actor No. 1) introduces Coldplay. Chris Martin is playing the acoustic version of “Lost” that we all got with our iTunes purchases, but then his best buddy ‘Ye comes on for what sounds like a freestyle. This isn’t really his strong suit, but at least he left the AutoTune at home. Then it segues into “Viva La Vida,” and so far, Joe Satriani hasn’t bum-rushed the stage. They are so going to win huge tonight — this was positioned so that Martin, out of breath, can wait in the wings to accept his award.
7:28 p.m. Carrie Underwood is doing “Last Name,” once again proving that our Checotah girl was destined for this kind of thing, and “American Idol” just made the ride a little faster. She’s killing up there, and the song rocks a little harder each time she hits it at one of these things.
7:32 p.m. Sheryl Crow and LeAnn Rimes announce…
BEST COUNTRY PERFORMANCE BY A DUO OR GROUP
Brooks & Dunn, “God Must Be Busy”
Lady Antebellum, “Love Don’t Love Here”
Rascal Flatts, “Every Day”
The Steel Drivers, “Blue Side Of The Mountain”
Sugarland, “Stay”
And Sugarland wins. They’re Athens, Ga., which definitely works in their favor, beyond the fact that they’re pretty strong players for a mainstream country band.
7:42 p.m. Al Green just schooled Andy Williams, and joined Duffy in announcing…
SONG OF THE YEAR
“American Boy,” William Adams, Keith Harris, Josh Lopez, Caleb Speir, John Stephens, Estelle Swaray & Kanye West, songwriters (Estelle Featuring Kanye West, artist)
“Chasing Pavements,” Adele Adkins & Eg White, songwriters (Adele, artist)
“I’m Yours,” Jason Mraz, songwriter (Jason Mraz, artist)
“Love Song,” Sara Bareilles, songwriter (Sara Bareilles, artist)
“Viva La Vida,” Guy Berryman, Jonny Buckland, Will Champion & Chris Martin, songwriters (Coldplay, artist)
And Coldplay wins. What did I tell you? Now Kid Rock is playing some retrograde boogie-rock that makes me want to chuck a can of something warm and cheap at my television. Then he screams out a tribute to Billy Powell of Skynyrd, which is his standard way of sidling up to better acts in hopes of getting a faint whiff of their magic. No dice, Bob.
7:54 p.m. Miley Cyrus joins Taylor Swift for “Fifteen.” Miley might have better vocal chops than Taylor, but Taylor’s the one who wrote or co-wrote her entire album. That gives her the edge every time.
7:58 p.m. “Best friend,” Miley? Sounds like something you say right before pulling someone’s hair. Now they announce…
BEST POP COLLABORATION WITH VOCALS
Alicia Keys and John Mayer, “Lessons Learned”
Madonna, Justin Timberlake, and Timbaland, “4 Minutes”
Robert Plant and Alison Krauss, “Rich Woman”
Rihanna and Maroon 5, “If I Never See Your Face Again”
Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown, “No Air”
“This project has been spectacular from the beginning,” Plant says while accepting with Krauss. ”This song is such a spooky song. It’s the heart of the American underworld of rhythm and blues and shimmy.” That’s right — shimmy. I’ve been proferring various itirations of “Twilight of the soul” to describe this thing, but leave it to the master, the guy who recorded the song, to slice right to the truth. Shimmy!
8:04 p.m. Jennifer Hudson belts it, does it beautifully, tears up a little. Your Grammy Moment ™.
8:10 p.m. Emily Proctor (”CSI: Miami” — No. 2!”) and Jason Mraz introduce the Jonas Brothers playing with Stevie Wonder and his Vocoder. The Jonases basically sound like Maroon 5 here, but every time I hear Stevie just killing it live, I wish he hadn’t spent the past 25 years as the Sta-Puff Marshmallow Man of Soul. This man needs to write something that matters. Maybe he just needs a producer who will tell him to tap into the old passion, anger and soul.
8:16 p.m. Blink-182 finally give up on those boring side projects, reunite, hopefully recommit to potty jokes and introduce…
BEST ROCK ALBUM
Coldplay, Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends
Kid Rock, Rock N Roll Jesus
Kings Of Leon, Only By The Night
Metallica, Death Magnetic
Raconteurs, Consolers Of The Lonely
8:17 p.m. “Limestone kind of rock”? Yeah, a little like that whole Jethro Tull metal Grammy thing a couple of decades ago. Like I said, a Coldplay kind of night. The home turf guy who occasionally surfaces from me wanted the Kings to steal this one.
8:23 p.m. Craig Ferguson (No. 3) says, “Lesbians are totally awesome!” in announcing Katy Perry, who is terrible but… entertaining. The former Katy Hudson of Contemporary Christian music just adjusted her bra from the front.
8:28 p.m. Kanye West, who must have paid off Jerome Benton for access to Morris Day’s wardrobe, performs with Estelle on “American Boy.” Seriously, I expected Jerome to come out with a mirror. Then they announce…
BEST NEW ARTIST
Adele
Duffy
The Jonas Brothers
Lady Antebellum
Jazmine Sullivan
And the winner is Adele. I thought Duffy and Adele might cancel one another out, but nicely done — soulful, British, not crack-addled.
8:41 p.m. Natalie Cole, Herbie Hancock and Sean Combs announce…
RECORD OF THE YEAR
Adele, “Chasing Pavements”
Coldplay, “Viva La Vida”
Leona Lewis, “Bleeding Love”
M.I.A., “Paper Planes”
Robert Plant and Alison Kraus, “Please Read The Letter”
And Robert Plant, kissing everyone, turns things over to T-Bone, who says, cryptically, “Good things happen out of nowhere.”
8:51 p.m. Queen Latifah introduces M.I.A., who looks beautifully 8 1/2 months, but she ends up taking a backseat to the “Rap Pack,” doing “Swagger Like Us.” Jay-Z is still the master, but seriously — rap supergroups are generally as good as rock supergroups. This has a hell of a pedigree, but so did The Firm — both the rap and rock groups with that name.
8:57 p.m. Kate Beckinsale just said that this was M.I.A.’s due date. Then I kind of drifted off.
8:58 p.m. Uhhh… murrgh… oh yeah, Paulie and Grohlie. He does da Merseybeat quite nicely. Imagine what kind of freakout the Midwest would have had if Grohl had shown up, flipping his mane around on “Ed Sullivan.” America would have declared war. But why so brief? “I Saw Her Standing There”? I would have killed for “Helter Skelter” or “Band on the Run.” Well, not killed, but maybe declared war.
9:06 p.m. Jack Black and his father-in-law, Charlie Haden, announce…
BEST POP PERFORMANCE, MALE
Kid Rock, “All Summer Long”
John Mayer, “Say”
Paul McCartney, “That Was Me”
Jason Mraz, “I’m Yours”
Ne-Yo, “Closer”
James Taylor, “Wichita Lineman”
And the winner is Mayer. God, I just about lost consciousness again, and not in a good way. From one of the worst movies of 2008, “The Bucket List.” Better get a bucket — I’m going to throw up.
9:13 p.m. Jennifer Nettles just proved to the non-country people why Sugarland is worth their attention. Pretty great, and the duet with Adele was an unexpected highlight this evening.
9:21 p.m. Mrs. Chris Martin, looking a tad translucent, introduces the band that laid the foundation for her hubby’s band’s entire sound with 1995’s “The Bends,” Radiohead. They played “15 Step” with a full marching band — very Lindsey Buckingham, and very impressive. Very.
9:29 p.m. Samuel L. Jackson threatens the audience into applause before introducing T.I. and J.T. And we lost about 5 seconds of T.I. Honestly, this song sounded like an auctioneer interrupting a funeral.
9:35 p.m. And speaking of funerals, Neil Portnow! But seriously, folks — he had nice things to say about our man Barry, but when he says “Yes we can,” it’s like Pat Boone singing “Isn’t That a Shame.”
9:39 p.m. Smokey Robinson talks Lifetime Achievement Award recipient Four Tops, and then participates in a Four Tops recreation with surviving member Duke Fakir, Ne-Yo and Jamie Foxx. It’s solid, but man, you miss Levi Stubbs, who died last October. Wish they could have given this while Stubbs was alive.
9:48 p.m. Josh Groban introduces Neil Diamond, and suddenly I’m transported to the backseat of my mom’s 1976 Oldsmobile Regency, riding around South Tulsa listening to KRAV. Hands, touching hands, reaching out, throttling me. Throttling you.
9:53 p.m. And just as Neil Diamond indicated… BRING OUT YER DEAD! Bad year to be a drummer for Jimi Hendrix. Dottie Rambo, we hardly knew ye.
9:57 p.m. Keith Urban did two things tonight that had nothing to do with country music. Someone trying to make a break?
10:01 p.m. Now, they’re just trying to drag this damn thing out. I don’t want to buy a car! Sometimes, as a TiVo user, I forget how much I’m spared.
10:03 p.m. Gary Sinise (CBS! CSINY!), who doesn’t seem to understand anything coming over the TelePrompTer at him, introduces Lil Wayne, Alan Thicke’s son and Allen Toussaint. Show me that smile again!
10:11 p.m. Will.i.am and T-Pain avoid using AutoTune while announcing…
BEST RAP ALBUM
Jay-Z, American Gangster
Lil Wayne, Tha Carter III
Lupe Fiasco, The Cool
Nas
T.I., Paper Trail
And the winner is…
Tha Carter III. I just wanted to post the most obnoxious album cover of 2008.
10:15 p.m. I think my soul just died with that Will.i.am. remix of Dylan in the Pepsi ad. Not that I’m completely against such remixing and toying with classics, but Colin Munroe did it right, and Will.i.am did it wrong.
10:19 p.m. Zooey Deschanel, the anti-Katy Perry, introduces Bob and Ali, who completely rock the hell out of “Gone Gone Gone.” I think they’re going to win the big chimichanga.
10:26 p.m. Green Day announces Album of the Year:
Alison Krauss & Robert Plant, Raising Sand
Coldplay, Viva La Vida
Ne-Yo, Year Of The Gentleman
Lil Wayne, Tha Carter III
Radiohead, In Rainbows
And the winner is…
Robert: “I’d like to thank Alison Krauss for her kindness and patience, teaching me to sing in straight lines instead of doing all that twirly stuff.” But we love the twirly stuff, Robert. Love the twirly stuff.
And thank you for your kindness and patience this evening. Let’s all go fall down and listen to Stevie play us out. Good night.
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
Comments
Wait, i thought that was Jay-Z rapping on “Lost?”
I’ve been half watching, but JT and Al Green was fun. Coldplay was Coldplay, and Carrie Underwood just gets more gorgeous every time I see her. And that was a rollickin’ honky-tonk song.
What was up with Jennifer Hudson’s sound mix?
Taylor Swift is probably a better lyricist than Kid Rock. It really bothers me that he rhymes “things” with “things.”
It seems just wrong for Stevie Wonder to share a stage with the Jonas Brothers, but hey, maybe it’ll turn some tweenies onto Stevie.
just finished putting to bed two very expensive midgets – doesn’t look like I missed much but that unholy collaboration between Stevie and Jobros. Who the hell thinks these things up?
weird to see metallica vying against coldplay. is metallica not in a metal category? is there no metal category? is jethro tull still together?
i think the raconteurs shoulda won but i’ll admit i didn’t listen to any of the othe–um there’s a half naked lady wearing fruit. gotta go.
I just figured out why Kanye invented autotune. What’s funny is I freudian-slip typed “outotune” which I had to correct.
On a secondary note, The Watchmen trailer is the most excited I’ve been all night.
Ya, lets get Lindsay Lohan in the lead as Janis Joplin instead of that lady from Sugarland….. Stay classy hollywood.
Yeah, they’re pretty great. Both members came out of the Athens, Ga. rock community, so they’re a little more Staticbloggy than your average Nashville group.
It only took 4 minutes for every woman in the audience to question their own femininity and for all the acts in the audience to question their musicality. Radiohead wins. Yummeth is Yummeth.
I’m torn. I really liked Beck’s album too. Plus I saw him at Cain’s, and even though he looked strung out and acted like he detested the audience as mindless sheep, it was an amazing show.
Neil did with 1/4 the effort what mmost of these guys couldn’t do all night: have the audience in the palm of his hand.
Am I the only one who’s a little creeped out by Neil Diamond right now? He reminded me of a mix between William Shatner and Mr. Burns from the Simpsons.
Neil’s reached that Wayne Newton status, where he no longer is required to be a great musical artist. He just has to be NEIL DIAMOND.
BTW, Kev. Yes that popart animated Terget commercial kicked arse. To bad there was that bimbo in the way of that sweet artwork.
Cmon, Grammy’s. Do the right thing and give it to Radiohead. So what if it didn’t make you any money like Kanye and Coldplay? That aint the point.
George:
According to AP, the Justin Timberlake, Boyz II Men, Al Green and Keith Urban performance was a late add to replace Rihanna. So Urban wasn’t originally scheduled to perform twice.
Did they make any money off of it? I can’t imagine all those college kids voluntarily paying $15 for a download.
[...] see a second of the show. I missed the whole thing. Didn’t matter, though. I got the full recap on NewsOK.com, thanks to George Lang’s StaticBlog. Good stuff there — great images, great commentary and lots of comments from our [...]
Where are the Jonas Brothers?????
The Jonas Brothers are the best band ever. I listening it now
I relly Love the Jb
I think Whitney has had some goofballs.