In fact, many states are spoken of disparagingly. Consider “I’m Tired of Texas,” a song from “Look Ma, I’m Dancin’!” that refers to the Lone Star State as being “the rear end of the USA.” Montana gets similar treatment in the musical “Whoop Up.” The lyric suggests that Montana is “one-third rock and two-thirds dust” and goes on to say that “you live here only if you must.” In 2005, the Sooner State found its way into “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels,” a hit musical in which the singer poked fun at Oklahoma but also referred to it as “my little piece of heaven.”

Our neighbor Arkansas is unfortunately saddled with one of the musical theater’s most inane examples: a hokey two-step from the Huckleberry Finn-inspired “Big River.” Other states receive a mixture of praise and condemnation, including “Iowa Stubborn” from “The Music Man.” The townsfolk talk about their willingness to accept outsiders but then speak with pride about their “chip on the shoulder attitude.”

The Amish celebrate the bountiful fall harvest in “Plenty of Pennsylvania” (“Plain and Fancy”), while a boastful Richard Henry Lee tries to impress John Adams with the accomplishments of his venerable Virginia family in “The Lees of Old Virginia” (“1776″). In the Richard Rodgers musical “No Strings,” Maine gets a “Green Acres”-type number in which the romantic leads battle it out over where each prefers to live: he in rural Maine; she, north of Central Park in New York.

Texas can lay claim to a half-dozen show tunes, although neither “Texas Has a Whorehouse in It” nor “I’m Leavin’ Texas,” from “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” and its ill-fated sequel, do their state proud. New York has found its way into more than a dozen songs, most praising the joys of living there: “A Day in New York” (“Meet Me in St. Louis”), “You Can Be a New Yorker Too” (“Mayor”) and “When You’re Far Away from New York Town” (“Jennie”).

Several musical theater-related songs have impressive pedigrees thanks to the accomplishments of their composer/lyricists, from George and Ira Gershwin’s “Cactus Time in Arizona” to Irving Berlin’s “Louisiana Purchase.” And tuneful though they are, the songs “Gary, Indiana” (“The Music Man”), “Kansas City” (“Oklahoma!”), “Travelin’: In Louisiana” (“Sugar Babies”) and “New York, New York” (“On the Town”) can’t match “Oklahoma” for inspiration and sheer musical pleasure.

Two musicals that failed to keep audiences engaged prompted the following: “The Red Shoes” was caustically nicknamed “The Red Snooze,” while “Nick and Nora” became known as “Nick and Snora.” In 1990, British pop star Michael Ball recreated his role as the amorous Alex Dillingham when Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Aspects of Love” transferred to Broadway. But the actor’s noticeable weight gain prompted many visitors to rename the show “Aspects of Love Handles.”

Some musicals never managed to find their audiences. The ill-conceived stage adaptation of James Clavell’s “Shogun” became known as “Show Gone” after its sudden demise, while the one-performance run of “Dance a Little Closer” was quickly dubbed “Close a Little Faster.” Ethel Merman, the legendary singer who created the role of Annie Oakley in Irving Berlin’s “Annie Get Your Gun,” headed a celebrated revival two decades later. But at 57, Merman was considered by many to be too long in the tooth to play the celebrated sharpshooter. The 1966 revival was thereafter known as “Granny Get Your Gun.”

A regional production of the Irving Berlin classic featured a leading lady who was cast in spite of her rather large frame. That resulted in the production being called “Annie Weighs a Ton.” “Dreamgirls,” the six-time Tony Award winner from 1981, told a tale that closely resembled The Supremes’ rise to fame. But Jennifer Holliday’s powerhouse voice led many to call the show “Screamgirls.”

Even the legendary musical “Show Boat” has had its detractors. Based on Edna Ferber’s epic novel about three generations of theatrical performers who traveled the Mississippi, the musical has had to endure the titles “Slow Boat” and “Boat Show.” Frank Wildhorn’s “Jekyll & Hyde” recently returned to Broadway but the reviews for the 2013 revival were no kinder than those it received after its 1997 debut. In one production of this troubled musical, the leading man was a multi-personality kind of guy who also tended to be rather sarcastic. Some dubbed the show “Heckle & Jekyll & Hyde.”

It just proves that regardless of subject matter, star stature or the talents of the creative team, when it comes to humor in the musical theater, nothing is sacred.

Lucille Ball, the lovable redhead who became a television icon with her sitcoms “I Love Lucy” and “The Lucy Show,” played an Annie Oakley of the oil fields in the 1960 musical “Wildcat.” Celebrated for her big-screen appearances in “Gone With the Wind” and “A Streetcar Named Desire,” the winsome Vivien Leigh portrayed an exiled member of the Russian nobility in the now forgotten “Tovarich.”

In 1969, four-time Academy Award-winner Katherine Hepburn was enticed to portray the legendary couturier Coco Chanel in a musical bio written by Andre Previn and Alan J. Lerner. The show traced Chanel’s life from her impoverished beginnings to the leader of the fashion industry. Shelley Winters, an actress remembered for her roles in “The Diary of Anne Frank” and “The Poseidon Adventure,” played the Marx family matriarch in a failed 1970 musical titled “Minnie’s Boys.”

Although Bette Midler (“The Rose” and “Outrageous Fortune”) would ultimately divide her career between film and the concert stage, she briefly played Tzeitel in Broadway’s long-running hit “Fiddler on the Roof.” And Lillian Gish, who portrayed the daughter of an abolitionist leader in “The Birth of a Nation,” starred as the Dowager Empress of Russia in the 1965 musical “Anya.”

Baby boomers know Agnes Moorehead as Endora on the television sitcom “Bewitched,” but this imposing actress also appeared as Aunt Alicia in Lerner and Loewe’s 1973 stage adaptation of the musical “Gigi.” Although not primarily known for their screen roles, two performers deserve inclusion in this group: soprano Teresa Stratas took a sabbatical from the world of opera to star in “Rags,” a four-performance fiasco about the challenges faced by an immigrant family after their arrival in New York.

And Anna Maria Alberghetti, who appeared in the 1951 film “The Medium,” made her only Broadway musical appearance a decade later in “Carnival.” She won a Tony Award as Lili, the orphaned waif who joins the carnival and falls in love with a magician. Finally, there’s Rosalind Russell, the no-nonsense screen star remembered for her exuberance in “Auntie Mame” and “Gypsy.” Russell played Ruth Sherwood, a Midwestern girl trying to launch a literary career, in Leonard Bernstein’s 1953 stage musical “Wonderful Town.”

More recent examples include Allison Janney (“The West Wing”), who made her Broadway musical in the 2009 musical “9 to 5,” and Catherine Zeta-Jones (“Chicago”), who made her Broadway debut the same year and won a Tony Award for her role in the revival of “A Little Night Music.” Jane Lynch (“Best in Show,” “Glee”) will take over the role of Miss Hannigan in the Broadway revival of “Annie” this week.

While most of these Hollywood notables were primarily thought of as screen actors, all explored the world of the stage even though each appeared in only a single Broadway musical. Long before Andy Griffith became known as Mayberry’s easy-going sheriff, he played a similar character in the Broadway production of “Destry Rides Again.” Anthony Perkins starred as a man struck by wanderlust in 1960′s “Greenwillow,” the same year he created the role of the evil Norman Bates in “Psycho.”

Many will be surprised to learn that Jackie Gleason won a Tony Award for his role as Sid Davis in “Take Me Along,” yet never received an Emmy for portraying Ralph Kramden on “The Honeymooners.” Christopher Plummer, an award-winning stage actor whose career will forever be associated with “The Sound of Music,” earned a 1973 Tony Award for his role as Cyrano de Bergerac in the musical “Cyrano.”

Although Alan Alda has starred in numerous television series, he’ll forever be remembered for his role as Capt. Hawkeye Pierce on “M*A*S*H.” But this versatile actor also appeared in the musical “The Apple Tree.” And two of the big screen’s finest stars each took a break from films to star in musicals written by the distinguished songwriting team of Lerner and Loewe. Rex Harrison earned a Tony and an Oscar for his role as the unyielding Henry Higgins in “My Fair Lady,” while Richard Burton gave a princely performance as King Arthur in “Camelot.”

Other notable actors who dabbled in the Broadway musical include Jack Klugman (“The Odd Couple” and “Quincy, M.E.”) in “Gypsy,” Sid Caesar (“Your Show of Shows”) in “Little Me,” Vincent Price (“The Fly” and “The Abominable Dr. Phibes”) in “Darling of the Day,” Burgess Meredith (“Of Mice and Men” and “Batman”) in “Johnny Johnson,” and F. Murray Abraham (“Amadeus”) in the short-live musical “Triumph of Love.”

More recent examples include Kelsey Grammer (“Frasier”), who appeared in the 2010 Broadway revival of “La Cage aux Folles,” Sean Hayes (“Will and Grace”), who made his Broadway debut the same year in the revival of “Promises, Promises,” and Daniel Radcliffe (“Harry Potter”), who drew large crowds to watch him climb the corporate ladder in the 2011 revival of “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.”

An attempt to blend Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” with the music of Duke Ellington likewise failed to excite audiences. “Play On!” (1997) did anything but what its title suggested. Conversely, “Oklahoma!” (1943) and “Hello, Dolly!” (1964) together amassed more than 5,000 performances and remain two of the most popular musical theater titles in the catalog. “Drat! The Cat!” (1965) and “I Do! I Do!” (1966) opted for two exclamation points in their titles, but only the latter, with 561 performances, seems to have benefited from the additional punctuation.

Off-Broadway’s “Snoopy!!!” added a third exclamation mark, yet only survived five months. And with an unremarkable three performances, “Oh, Brother!” (1981) holds the record for the shortest run in this category. “Fiorello!” (1959), a musical that chronicled the events in the life of New York City Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia, remains the only Pulitzer Prize winner in this select group.

Other musicals that celebrated larger than life personalities include “George M!” (1968), a retrospective on the life of actor/songwriter George M. Cohan; and “Eubie!” (1978), a musical biography of pianist and songwriter Eubie Blake. This exclamation mark phenomenon isn’t restricted to the United States. England’s contributions have included “Oliver!” (1960, United States 1963) and “Oh, What a Lovely War!” (1963). South Africa introduced American audiences to “Sarafina!” (1988).

The trend of adding exclamation points to show titles apparently began in 1924 with “Lady, Be Good!” No decade since has failed to include at least one such musical, the most recent being “Baby It’s You” (2011), a jukebox musical that featured the music of the 1960s pop group The Shirelles. The show only ran four months before closing.

Adding punctuation to a show’s title may be a useful marketing tool, but as documented here, such obvious embellishments are often an attempt to compensate for shortcomings that will almost certainly undermine the musical’s success.

“Welcome to Berlin” was Kander and Ebb’s first big hit, renamed “Cabaret.” “My Best Girl” was eventually dropped as the title of Jerry Herman’s musical “Mame,” although it still exists as a song title in the same show. And “The Silver Triangle” would become Meredith Willson’s runaway hit, but not until its title was changed to “The Music Man.”

Other musical titles sound more like misnomers than actual show titles. The innocuous “Hard to Get” was changed to “Bon Voyage” before it became Cole Porter’s delightful “Anything Goes.” And while “I Picked a Daisy” and “The Roman Comedy” would have taken up considerably less room on theater marquees, these shows eventually became known as “On a Clear Day You Can See Forever” and “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.”

Shows whose titles were modified before opening on Broadway include “East Side Story” and “Dolly: A Damned Exasperating Woman.” They’re better known, of course, as “West Side Story” and “Hello, Dolly!” You’re a true theater fan if you can decipher “I Am Listening,” “Rainbow” and “Little Paris.” These titles eventually became “Lady in the Dark,” “110 in the Shade” and “Naughty Marietta,” respectively.

And had Stephen Sondheim stuck with his original title for “Anyone Can Whistle,” Henry Krieger would have been forced to choose a different title for “Side Show,” his 1999 musical about conjoined circus performers. One of the most humorous examples came from Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice, who allegedly thought about calling “Jesus Christ Superstar” simply “Christ!” Fearful that religious groups might take exception, they also decided to pass on “How to Succeed in Egypt Without Really Trying” in favor of “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.”

It makes you wonder why “Onward Victoria,” “Dance a Little Closer” and “The Utter Glory of Morrissey Hall” never had their titles changed. Their cumulative runs might have totaled more than just three performances.

Most of the calls I take are from people who want to know how to obtain tickets for Broadway’s hit shows. That, too, can be a challenge, although today it’s considerably easier than it was two decades ago. With orchestra seats approaching the princely sum of $150, you clearly want to know your seat location. The major ticket sources weren’t always so accommodating; they’d sell you an orchestra seat but weren’t allowed to disclose its location.

As a result, I’ve had to sit on the back row of the theater and near the side wall, both times, ironically, at the same theater, the Imperial. Today, you can request seats in a general area of the theater or even a specific seat if you know the theater’s layout. The old Boy Scout motto “Be prepared” clearly applies here. Before calling to order tickets – weeks in advance of the performance if possible; months for a hit show; longer for blockbusters such as “Wicked” or “The Book of Mormon” – find a copy of the theater’s seating chart.

They’re available online at Playbill.com (in the column at the left, look for Reference and then click on seating charts). Frequent visitors usually pick up a copy of “Seats New York: 180 Seating Plans to New York Metro Area Theatres,” a book that features seating charts for Broadway theaters, music halls and sports stadia. The next step is calling to reserve your tickets. Once again, go to Playbill.com and under Listings/Tickets, click on Broadway or off-Broadway and select the show you’d like to see. You’ll find links there to buy tickets.

If you wish to hold off buying tickets until you arrive in New York, you can go directly to the theater box office or head to the Times Square TKTS Booth. The latter sells discounted tickets for the current day’s performance only. Most hotel concierge desks also have ticket brokers who can usually arrange for tickets, but they will charge considerably more for the convenience.

Once you have your tickets, plan to arrive at the theater at least 20-30 minutes before curtain time. There’s often a large crowd trying to find seats at the last minute. Finally, sit back and enjoy the performance. All that hard work will have paid off.

Cole Porter’s music surfaced in a 1998 Broadway production of “High Society.” Of course, the creative team that labored on that production had to fit their show around existing Porter tunes. George Gershwin, one of Tin Pan Alley’s finest tunesmiths, was represented on Broadway half a century after his death with “My One and Only” in 1983 and “Crazy for You” in 1992. Last season, a “new Gershwin musical” starring native Oklahoman Kelli O’Hara opened on Broadway. After a 14-month run, “Nice Work If You Can Get It” will close in June 2013.

Other noted composers have also had their music introduced to new generations of listeners through such musicals as “Song of Norway” (Edvard Grieg) in 1944, “Kismet” (Alexander Borodin) in 1954, “The Happiest Girl in the World” (Jacques Offenbach) in 1961, “Anya” (Sergei Rachmaninoff) in 1965, “Ain’t Misbehavin’” (Fats Waller) in 1978, “Sophisticated Ladies” in 1981 and “Play On!” (both Duke Ellington) in 1997.

Rodgers and Hammerstein’ s “Cinderella” was written for television in 1957 with Julie Andrews appearing as the title character. Eight years later, a new version starring Leslie Ann Warren starred in another version. Pop star Brandy brought the musical back to television in 1997. This season, a new version of “Cinderella” made its way to Broadway and received positive notices.

Featuring a new book by Douglas Carter Beane, the revival supplements the original Rodgers and Hammerstein score with four new songs, two of which were cut from “South Pacific” and “The Sound of Music” respectively. Beane’s new book also introduces the new character Jean-Michel, a rebel who is in love with Cinderella’s stepsister Gabrielle. Beane also gave his narrative a contemporary sensibility. The “new musical” is likely to be nominated for several 2012 Tony Awards which will be announced today.

Productions such as these certainly prove the notion that a good tune, no matter its origin, is timeless in its appeal.

Whatever the method, the first lines can be crucial to the show’s success. Curious to discover how various authors handled this challenge, I looked at these all-important beginnings. Many break the theater’s fourth wall and speak directly to the audience. Kander and Ebb’s “Chicago” is the perfect example: “Welcome ladies and gentlemen. You are about to see a story of murder, greed, corruption, violence, exploitation, adultery and treachery — all those things we all hold near and dear to our hearts.”

“Irma La Douce” takes a similar approach: “Don’t worry — it’s quite suitable for the children. This is a story about passion, bloodshed, desire and death. Everything, in fact, that makes life worth living.” When the original opening to “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum” failed to produce the desired effect, the creators opted for a simpler approach: “Playgoers, I bid you welcome. The theater is a temple, and we are here to worship the gods of comedy and tragedy. Tonight, I am pleased to announce a comedy.”

Then there are those musicals that open on a scene already under way. In Irving Berlin’s “Call Me Madam,” Sally Adams (a character patterned after Oklahoman Perle Mesta) is seen taking an oath of office: “… that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter, so help me God.” Some have used a variation on this approach, a situation comparable to entering a room and catching people in mid-conversation. As the curtain goes up on Jerry Herman’s “Mame,” Agnes Gooch and Patrick Dennis have just arrived in New York. “Golly, Agnes, New York is like a foreign country!” “You don’t have to worry, Patrick. I’m worried enough for both of us.”

Others feel the need to establish time and/or place. In “The Music Man,” the train conductor bellows: “River City Junction. River City, next station stop!” And in “The Robber Bridegroom,” the narrator informs us that “The town of Rodney, Mississippi, isn’t very much anymore. The river moved away and left us high and dry.” Though rare, speaking (or singing) in a foreign language can reinforce a musical’s setting. A group of nuns singing in Latin lends a reverential quality to “The Sound of Music,” while two young children singing a French tune emphasizes the French Polynesian setting of “South Pacific.”

Rare but effective is the use of a disembodied voice. In “The Apple Tree,” we hear a voice proclaim, “Adam — Adam, wake up. You are the first man. It shall be your task to name all the creatures in the Garden of Eden.” “Evita” opens in a Buenos Aires movie theater. The film is interrupted by this announcement: “It is the sad duty of the secretary of the press to inform the people of Argentina that Eva Peron, spiritual leader of the nation, entered immortality at 2025 hours today.”

A couple of musicals make use of a bait-and-switch tactic. In “The Pajama Game,” the character Hines informs the audience that “This is a very serious drama. It’s kind of a problem play. It’s about capital and labor.” He then goes on to say that “I wouldn’t bother to make such a point of all this except later on, if you happen to see a lot of naked women being chased through the woods, I don’t want you to get the wrong impression. This play is full of symbolism.”

Finally, some musicals establish a premise that will be acted upon as the show progresses. In “Sunday in the Park With George,” we hear the painter Georges Seurat thinking aloud: “White. A blank page or canvas. The challenge: bring order to the whole. Through design, composition, balance, light … and harmony.” Equally effective is John Adams’ proclamation in “1776″: “I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is called a disgrace — that two are called a law firm — and that three or more become a Congress. And by God, I have had this Congress!”

Getting the audience involved from the outset is the toughest job for any musical theater collaborators. But if they accomplish that without too much difficulty, chances are people will leave the theater knowing that their money was well-spent.

A year later, Bob Wright and Chet Forrest struck gold with “Song of Norway,” an operetta loosely based on the life of Edvard Grieg. The composer’s “Lyric Pieces for Piano” provided Wright and Forrest with many lovely melodies, most notably a waltz for “Now,” a nocturne that was morphed into “Strange Music” and an “Albumblatt” for “Three Loves.” During the next 20 years, Wright and Forrest would find inspiration in the music of other great masters, including Johann Strauss (“The Great Waltz”), Heitor Villa Lobos (“Magdalena”), Camille Saint-Saens (“Dumas and Son”) and Rachmaninoff (“Anya”).

Their most memorable work by far was the 1953 musical “Kismet.” As before, they fashioned new lyrics to existing melodies, this time by the 19th century Russian composer Alexander Borodin. From his “String Quartet in D,” they created the impassioned “And This Is My Beloved” and the lilting “Baubles, Bangles and Beads.” From the “Polovtsian Dances” came the haunting “Stranger in Paradise.” At the annual Tony Awards, Wright, Forrest and Borodin were honored with the Best Musical Score.

Yip Harburg, a lyricist best remembered for his contributions to “The Wizard of Oz,” turned to the music of Jacques Offenbach for 1961′s “The Happiest Girl in the World.” The famous “Barcarolle” from “The Tales of Hoffmann” was recast as “Adrift on a Star,” while the “Ballad of Kleinzach,” also from “Hoffmann,” was turned into the “Entrance of the Courtesans.” Melodies from “Gaite Parisienne” and “La Belle Helene” also found their way into Harburg’s witty score.

The practice of setting lyrics to existing melodies appears to have fallen into disuse about the time the rock musicals of the 1970s arrived. But it would resurface in 1987 when lyricist Hal Hackady used music by John Philip Sousa for “Teddy and Alice.” The March King’s “Stars and Stripes Forever” served as a rousing finale (the aptly-titled “Wave the Flag”) for this story about Teddy Roosevelt and his daughter Alice.

There was also the 1991 flop “Nick and Nora,” which featured a lovely score by Charles Strouse. The composer of “Bye Bye Birdie,” “Applause” and “Annie” among others, Strouse deftly wove a portion of a Lehar melody from “The Merry Widow” into a comic number titled “Men.” In 2002, “Thoroughly Modern Millie” thrust first-time collaborators Jeanine Tesori and Dick Scanlan into the spotlight. Together, they fashioned a lively if unmemorable score save the numbers they borrowed from Tchaikovsky, Victor Herbert and Gilbert and Sullivan.

Herbert’s “Ah, Sweet Mystery of Life” and “I’m Falling in Love With Someone” were lifted almost unaltered from “Naughty Marietta,” while music from Tchaikovsky’s ballet served as the basis for their musical’s “Nuttycracker Suite.” To round out the eclectic score, Tesori and Scanlan borrowed the famous patter song “My Eyes Are Fully Open” from Gilbert and Sullivan’s “Ruddigore.” Retitled “The Speed Test,” the number became a dictation audition for Sutton Foster’s Millie, with Marc Kudisch delivering the letter’s text at ever-increasing speed.

While some of these musical borrowings were questionable at best, one should at least give credit to these composers and lyricists for recognizing a good tune when they heard it.