Stepping back in time with him was like a history lesson in itself.

Back is retiring from the dean’s post after 28 years.

What intrigued me the most was Back’s reflections about the time after the Oklahoma City bombing. I don’t think I had questioned a faith leader about how they themselves coped with the tragedy. Many faith leaders across the metro and state were called upon to help their congregations and communities come to terms with the senseless loss of so many lives. And how do you do that and not be affected yourself, to some degree?

Well, Dean Back shared exactly how. He said he never lost faith but he did witness the struggles of many others who were trying to come to grips with the tragedy.

As we sat in the quiet, peaceful sanctuary of St. Paul’s, I wasn’t surprised at Back’s depth of emotion as he described the waves of feelings that washed over him in the middle of the night back in those first days and weeks after the bombing.

I was very grateful that he shared that with me, and with all of our readers (because I put that in the story in today’s Oklahoman). I think it says a lot about Dean Back as a clergyman and as a human being. By all accounts, he has been a humble and gracious leader and he will be missed as leader of the downtown cathedral.

Carla Hinton

If you’ve ever had something happen that you can’t quite define as coincidence, you will understand what I am saying.

Due to an upcoming assignment and the very premise of Christmas, I had been thinking of Joseph and his pregnant wife Mary and their search for shelter thousands of years ago.

The phrase that kept ringing in my mind as I have heard the story told through songs and oration, “Is there room in the inn?”

One particular day, it struck me personally, that Christ asks on a daily basis “is there room” in one’s heart for Him?

Then I picked up Dean Back’s book and it opened to the page that included the following essay:

“Baby Jesus as Spiritual Guide”

The Gospel of Luke tells the story about how Mary and Joseph brought baby Jesus into the temple when he was eight days old. Many old people like Simeon and Anna came to the temple in order to spend their final days in the presence of God, then to die and be buried in that holy place.

When Jesus was brought as a baby into the temple, old Simeon and old Anna immediately saw what their souls yearned for. They had come to the holy polace to complete their lives, and in looking at this newborn, they saw fulfillment of life.

“Now let your servant depart in peace,” proclaimed Simeon.

What he meant was, “I have seen God’s presence in this baby and now I am ready to be born from above.”

Birth and death, breathing in and breathing out, beginning and end, new and old — all these counterparts belong to one spiritual stream of divine grace.

The treasure of a pilgrim’s soul lies in the immensity of its immaturity. Within this immaturity lies the possibility for freedom, growth and development.

Babies rejoice in spiritual incompleteness; they don’t worry about their weakness and incompetence. A baby enjoys being merely a baby.

Likewise, we should let our souls rejoice that we have so far to grow.

When Mary realizes that she is pregnant with God she sings the first Christmas carol. It is the song of one who is mired deep in a poverty of spirit, but who then recognizes the immense possibility of God alive within her. Like Anna and Simeon who came to die but see abundance of life, Mary sees the glory of god springing forth from the depths of her humility.  So it is that Mary sings the words we now call “The Magnificat”:

My soul magnifies the Lord,

my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour,

for he regards the lowliness of his handmaiden (Luke 1:46-47).

The spiritual pilgrim will see in the baby a helpful guide. Babies live by grace, not by competence. They ask for food from the center of their hunger.

Jesus teaches his followers to pray to his Father in heaven, who knows how to give good gifts to us. In Gospel parables he urges us to pester God — like the persistent widow who nags the dishonest judge, or like the host who annoys his neighbor in order to provide hospitality for a guest.

Do not attempt to speak to God from a posture of confidence in your worthiness, but from your spiritual, intellectual and emotional neediness.

Like Anna and Simeon, seek God in your dying. Like Mary, the unmarried-yet-expectant mother, seek God from your humiliation.

Like a baby, cry deeply from an empty stomach, to be filled with the presence of God.

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Dean Back’s book is available at the St. Paul’s Episcopal Cathedral bookstore and Full Circle Bookstore in 50 Penn Place.

Carla Hinton

Religion Editor