DHS: Adoption is forever
An attorney questions whether parents who adopt children from state custody should be given the option to return the child if the child eventually develops mental health problems. The state agency says children adopted from foster care should be treated the same as children born into a family – the family just can’t give up the child.
The comments came Friday during an adoption task force meeting at the Capitol. A story I wrote on the issue ran in Saturday’s editions of The Oklahoma, but the point presented by DHS were cut out. Here’s the story as I wrote it:
Relief should be provided to parents who adopt from the state a child who eventually develops violent or severe mental health tendencies, an attorney told a legislative panel Friday.
The only recourse parents have is to either file a lawsuit against the Department of Human Services or risk being charged if they abandon the child, said John O’Connor, a Tulsa attorney.
DHS will take the child back only in cases of abuse and neglect.
“I’ve received phone calls over the years from couples who have adopted foster children out of DHS custody and after years of trying to make things work, it turns out the child has more psychological or emotional problems than the family can handle,” O’Connor said. “Sometimes it threatens the health and welfare of siblings, the adopted child has abused a sibling or has attempted to injure parents.
“What was a good-faith attempt to have a family with a child who has been in a warehouse now becomes a couple exhausted and emotionally spent and financially, usually, spent against the state of Oklahoma,” he said. “That’s a very, very difficult set of odds to try to overcome.”
O’Connor, who received a call two weeks ago from a parent in that dilemma, asked the Adoption Review Task Force to consider legislation to allow parents in specific, limited circumstances to return the child to DHS. The group is looking at drafting legislation dealing with adoption issues.
“It’s a very small number of cases, but it’s a very devastating impact on the family,” he said.
Karen Poteet, post adoption programs manager for DHS, said the agency only places children in its custody who are suffering from abuse or neglect.
“We disclose all of the written information that we have regarding the child’s medical issue, how they came into custody, all the social history, medical history, everything we have we disclose,” she said. “The key is everything we have because sometimes we have birth families who are cooperative with us because we remove their children. So sometimes they control the flow of information that is given to us.”
DHS tells adoptive parents that the information on the child is what was made available and the child may have physical, mental health or emotional issues that have not yet been diagnosed, Poteet said.
Parents adopting children through DHS also must complete a 27-hour course, in which parents are advised to look closely at the child’s records, she said.
“Adoptive parents need to understand this is their child forever,” Poteet said. “It is just like giving birth. And that any kind of treatment of them in the eyes of the law is that same way – just as if they gave birth.”
- Michael McNutt, Capitol Bureau
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Comments
Michelle — We adopted a sibling group thru DHS. They “yo-yo’ed” in foster care and placement with relative for 3 yrs…ending with adoption at 4 & 8. Our DHS worker was helpful, our CASA worker was fantastic, and our Judge was amazing (altho, other parents told us their Judge was anti-adoption). Our kids have problems…slightly above the average and the problems are definitely more “intense”. Post-adoption, was limited to counseling for the kids (minimally effective) and parents workshop weekend in Guthrie (pretty much zero about adoption issues–was all “couples communication therapy”). Make sure to ask about the state paying for healthcare (braces–need I say more) and about some monthly assistance ($). In the end, I wouldn’t trade our kids for anything tho.
Our adopted children bounced around for almost 5 years before we were able to adopt them. These children are simply fighting to survive the best they know how. When the forever home comes WE as the adoptive parent should KNOW that it is forever…these children have nothing to believe in. The proof is in our actions. Where they are isn’t their fault. We must be willing to do the tough work for them to succeed. It will happen. Don’t give up. Find help. Nancy Thomas is a great resource for reactive attachment disorder. No child is too far gone if you are willing to fight for them. Let’s not make it easy to give them back…let’s put tools in the parents hands to help them. Please. Every child counts.
We just adopted from OKDHS but our daughter was with us from birth and was only 18 months when we were able to adopt her, so her situation is much different than many in foster care. From years of being involved with DHS, I can say that it’s hard for them to stay up on policies, on paperwork, on home visits, and so many other things that they’re responsible for. I would never want that kind of job…the state practically sets them up for failure…and the kids are the ones who are left worse-off. Pray for our country, for parents, and mostly for the children who have NO CONTROL in their lives! The children deserve a better chance in life than we as a nation are giving them!
We adopted four from Dhs. My older two are well and adults now. We adopted another set of half siblings and were told they were 2 yrs delayed and had adhd. then on day of adoption we get a huge packet of paperwork on the children. It has been 7 years and Britt and Mical are both MR, ODD RAD…but to make matters worse our son Mical is also autisum spectrum, and has psychosis. As of last month he is now a sexual predator and touched my 2 yr old. he has been in and out of facilities trying to get him the help he needs. While at psychiatric hospital he stripped naked and wantes to have sex with a nurse. Pulles his pants down in a girls room to have sex. He has beaten me, my husband, hit my 2 yr old…even at when he was 6 months. Plus beat on his sister and asked her for sex. Oh and told doctors he heard voices telling him to kill his dad. You have no idea…the strain on the family and the marriage. Plus he is only 13. I love him, but he needs more help than we can give. Unless you have lived it, dont judge others.
Michael – Thanks for posting this. I am in the process of attempting to adopt from DHS. My opinion is that the way the judicial and DHS system works – that most children in the system – have to go through years of yo-yoing from foster to birth family before they can even be adopted. So the psychological damage that is incurred many times is irreversible after a certain age. They tell you that the law is written in a way that says it is absolute best for the children to return to their birth family – and the judicial system supports this. However, many times it puts the children through an amazing amount of emotional trauma as they are returned to their birth family, then removed, then returned and so on. If, the laws changed to support a child’s right to be protected from ANYONE – no matter a birth parent or not….I believe that children in the DHS system would be able to get the help they need – stability, love – and especially counseling – earlier in their life – which could affect their forever family success.
Just my thought.