Should I serve alcohol? 20-40-60 answers
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YOU ASK…WE ANSWER…YOU DECIDE!
QUESTION: “I am having a party for my daughter and her friends. It is in our home. Some of the guests are old enough to have alcohol and others are not yet of age. I am in a quandary of what I should do, so, what would you suggest??? Should we serve drinks to everyone?
Thank you for your help.”
Callie’s answer: There is a new law that if you are serving alcohol to minors, you could be sent to jail. It is called the Social Host Law, if they are in high school, NO WAY —don’t serve alcohol to them.
If they are in college, you do not want to be held responsible. Your daughter, I’m sure, will help you navigate the situation, you both should sit down and talk about this.
It is SUCH a tough situation, but the law is the law.
Lillie-Beth’s answer: No, don’t serve alcoholic drinks to everyone. I believe that makes you liable for the actions of underage drinkers in your home; it’s dangerous as well for the minor who drinks there, then drives home.
I’d like to know what kind of party it is: Can you move it to the day, when alcohol isn’t expected? Can you develop it around a certain theme or activity that takes the focus off of alcohol and puts it on something else? That way you have an activity for everyone to enjoy, drinkers and nondrinkers alike. Why is alcohol expected?
You can also hire a bartender or two to mix the drinks and serve them for the evening (usually they don’t add much cost to the party) and let them check IDs so you don’t have to police your own guests.
It’s your party, and it’s your home, so you have every right to decide who gets served. I’m trying to think of how I would handle it when my kids are that old, and I can understand why there would be a dilemma in regulating who can have wine and who needs a soda. Make it clear from the beginning that if you’re not 21, you can’t drink. And hopefully your daughter and her friends will respect that rule.
Helen’s answer: Under-age drinking is against the law and as party hosts, you should not contribute to someone else’s downfall. You would hate it if he was arrested leaving your house where you served alcohol. Actually, you could be liable for a fine and jail term too.
It is still not safe for underage children to drink at home with their friends even if you supervise them and take their car keys away. It sends the message that the adults in the home are above the law. Whatever rules you have with your own children about home drinking is your business but giving alcohol to other people’s children should not be acceptable.
Sometimes, it is hard to tell if a guest is 21 years old, particularly if you don’t know the crowd very well. So, that makes the case for knowing your children’s friends and their parents. Do not hesitate to set and enforce those rules for drinking in your home.
Kathy Walker’s answer:( Former Nichols Hills Mayor and now President of Planet Nichols Hills) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legal_drinking_age Oh 20-40-60….This is a difficult and open-ended question for someone who parented 4 children (now 28, 29, 35, and 36) though decisions and choices as aforementioned.
The fact that the United States National Minimum Drinking Age Act of 1984 states that people must be 21 years of age for purchasing and publicly possessing alcoholic beverages was a guideline for our family. Although the law does not state that minors cannot drink alcohol in their own homes and on private property, it does leave that issue up to the States. Oklahoma’s law does not prohibit minors from drinking alcohol in their own homes under supervision of a parent or on private property, or for religious reasons such as Holy Communion. However, many municipalities have invoked Social Host Ordinances concerning the serving of alcohol to minors to hold parents and hosts criminally accountable for serving alcohol to minors.
For us, it has not been appropriate to serve alcohol to others who are under 21. Whether it is a dinner party, a graduation party, or a birthday party, there are many ways to create wonderful events without serving alcohol. Focus on the food with a theme and engage the young people in the preparation of the dinner. One year we rented a grill that could be used for making crepes and make it an interactive event.
However, if a large party is to be given for adults and young adults alike, sometimes a disclaimer that alcoholic beverages will not be served to those who are under 21 could be appropriate. We have actually made such disclaimers before holding this type of an event.
We have periodically gone to France with our children and when in that country, which has no minimum age for consumption and an 18 plus age for purchasing, we allowed them to drink a little wine at dinner. But when we returned to our home in Oklahoma, we did not allow them to do so. I think that it is the spirit of the law and the health of our young people that is more important than any party could ever be.
Callie Gordon, a college sophomore, was a 2009 debutante and has been in many new social situations recently. Lillie-Beth Brinkman is a former debutante and currently the assistant features editor for The Oklahoman. Helen Wallace has written a social column for The Oklahoman for many years and has been on various local Ball committees. Kathy Walker is former Nichols Hills Mayor and now President of Planet Nichols Hills
This group does not always agree (via age differences), but they ALL see the need for proper behavior.
Ask a specific etiquette question and you will get three answers…Then you decide for yourself how you would handle the situation. The answers have information for every age range….Callie is 20-ish; Lillie-Beth is 40-something, and Helen is 60-plus.
Please email us with your questions and follow us on Facebook, Twitter and daily blogs. We will try to answer your etiquette questions weekly on the Parties Extra! blog. Sometimes we will ask other people for their opinions.
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Society events in Oklahoma!—Parties Extra!—Helen Ford Wallace
THIS WEEK’S PARTIES
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DINNER AND SHOWER…The beautiful home of Fanny and Don Bolen was the setting for the dinner and miscellaneous shower honoring Carter Samis and Fred Fellers III.
The hosts served a southern menu. Guests enjoyed chicken with bacon and jalapeños, rice and okra, Vidalia onion tart, chive biscuits, sweet potato biscuits and fruit cobblers.
Kent Regens, Katharine Samis, Fred Fellers, Carter, Mike, and Karen Samis (Photo by David Faytinger).
It was also Carter’s birthday, so, on the menu was a large coconut birthday cake. Sherry and Jerry Cash were co-hosts.
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Megan Rezai, Connor Choate, Hilary Hamm , Jane Hamm, Jill Marshall, Ester Kofman (Photo by David Faytinger).
TWICE THE FUN…Jane Hamm, 18, and Hilary Hamm,15, celebrated their 18th and 15th birthdays in rockin’ birthday party style.
Their party invitation was a special edition of a rock magazine cover featuring the two sisters with a steel guitar. Guests wore a VIP pass around their necks for admittance to the party which was at the Grand Ballroom of the Skirvin Hotel. A leopard carpet marked the entrance of the Hotel.
“ The Maine” Band played as everyone took to the lighted dance floor and the pop rock band members who were from Phoenix, Ariz., had a great time too and posed for pictures and signed autographs during the party. A disc jockey played the first two hours of the event.
There were lighted tables and chairs in the Ballroom which was arranged like a New York lounge with sofas, an oxygen bar, two photo booths, lighted coffee and smoothie bars. Orange, lime green, hot pink Gerber daisies were on the tables.
A huge electric guitar shaped birthday cake was served and the 200 guests, most Casady students , received party favor tee shirts. Guests included Tom Lerum, Kathleen Howard, Michael Janusa, Matt Cyr, Esther Koffman, Brian Licata, Carlos Delatorre, Justin Strickland, Caitlin Roberts, Jill Marshall, Wylee Price, all from out of state, from New York to California.
And Connor Choate, Meagan Rezai, Cassidy Nicholas, Eddie Lima, Gabi Henson, John Waken, Brooks Labrue, Alyssa Shearer, Brock Bates, and Grace Enmeier, Harrison Maud, all from Enid.
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Matt and Kristen Brown, Tom Knott, Robert and Katy McGee (Photo by David Faytinger).
On the table was a layered-like cake but because this was a baby shower, it was made out of diapers. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
SAIL ON BY….Katy and Robert McGee were honorees at a dinner and baby shower in the home of Ranell and Steve Brown.
Co-hosts were Becky and Jim Buchanan, Peggy Burris, Jane and Sandy Elliott, Judy Ferguson, Kathy and Tim Knott, Bette and Jim MacKellar, Marty and Robert Margo, Dianne and Denny Meacham, Linda and Joe Mideke, Karren and Phil Napier, Linda Steinhorn, Sandy and Jon Trudgeon and Jeannie and Dennis Wolfe.
The hosts gave the couple a wooden cradle with bedding and a guest -signed picture frame. In the cradle was a Teddy bear wearing a monogrammed sailor hat. The baby is due in November.
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NORMAN CELEBRATES….Norman Wilks celebrated his 80th birthday in Taos, New Mexico, during the Labor Day weekend. His birthday was May 12 but he and his friends, who meet monthly for lunch, decided that the group would wait until August to party.
The first night the group had dinner up in the mountains at the Stakeout Restaurant. Hosts were Karen and Herb Klontz, Peggy and John Crawford, Pat Snyder and Nancy and Les Conner, who could not be there.
The next day was a Mexican luncheon at Rancho Plaza Grill. Hosts were Olive and Gerry Austin, Randy Floyd, Michael Smith and Florence Birdwell.
That night, the group had dinner at Lambert’s Restaurant and hosts were Marion and Atlee Vernon, Betty Bradley and Ed Huycke.
The last day, Betty and Norris Price hosted a brunch at their home, near Taos. Co-hosts were Katy and Jim Davis, Joan Gilmore and Al McLaughlin.
Additional guests included Margaret and Jim Foley, Susan Vernon and Natalie Vernon.
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LINDA’S ART……Linda Bowles celebrated the hanging of her art show at La Baguette. Wine and Hors d’oeuvres were served at a reception. The show themed “Art a la Mode” will be on display until October 31.
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Parties Extra!—September 10, 2008—Podcast on “Wine, Women and Shoes”
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CLICK HERE for Parties Extra! Podcast—Helen interviews Jane Thompson, Debbie Yoekel, Barbara Buttner and Linda Miller, about the fund-raiser, Wine, Women, and Shoes 
Linda Miller, Barbara Buttner, Debbie Yoekel and Jane Thompson were in the NewsOk podcast studio. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
They were at the NewsOk podcast studio to talk about a special fund-raiser. Jane Thompson is chairman of Wine, Women and Shoes; Debbie Yoekel is from Impact Oklahoma; Barbara Buttner, is from Calm Waters, and Linda Miller is The Oklahoman’s fashion editor. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
Jacquelyn Farris is our Parties Extra! podcast producer. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace)
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Parties Extra!—September 7,2008—Fund Raising—Chi Omega’s Fashion for a Passion
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FUND RAISING AND FUN RAISING
Chris Purcell, Candy Dulaney and Claire Kennedy were at the Chi Omega Sorority Alumni’s “Fashion For A Passion.” (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
Members of Chi Omega Alumni were hostesses for a cocktail buffet and fashion show in the home of David LeNorman in Gaillardia.
Lots of sorority members and their guests attended the fund-raiser which benefits Hearts for Hearing. CK & Company provided the fashions and models were members of Epsilon Alpha Chapter of Chi O.
Committee members were co-chairmen Lori Hill and Laura Gary, Diana Beeler, Jeanie Butts, Alison Calhoon, Carolyn Chancellor, Marsha Funk, Kate Gary, Elaine Jackson, Brooke Kivett, Gayle Larimore, Shelley Loomis and Judy Moses.
Also Barbara Perry, Patti Pojezny, Cherish Ralls, Janet Rayburn, Jimmie Stromberg, Judi Smith, Amy Stephens, Rebecca Thompson, Jane Ellen Weaver, Lynette Wolfe and Meredith Mustain-Brown.
Check out the Chi Omega website @ www.Chi Omega.com
Teresa Caraway, Lori Hill and Laura Gary were at the cocktail party and fashion show to benefit Hearts for Hearing. Hill and Gary were co-chairmen of the event and Caraway was one of the founders of Hearts for Hearing. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
Helen Ford Wallace Reports..Parties Extra!
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AT THE CLUB…
Karen, Stuart and Rich McLain were at the Hawaiian luau at the Oklahoma City Golf and Country Club. (Photo by David Faytinger).
SUMMER’S END….Oklahoma City Golf and Country Club members celebrated Labor Day holiday with two club parties. There was a picnic from 11 a.m. until 2 p.m. and then an evening buffet from 5 until 8 p.m.
The buffet had a tropical beach party theme and the Hart and Soul Band played under a big tent on the club’s outdoor terrace.
Menu items included a roasted pig, mahi-mahi fish, Trader Vic’s rice pilaf and seafood salad, along with other salads and Hawaiian bread.
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Justice John Rief , left, conducts Bob Lake Grove’s swearing in. (Photo provided).
SWEARING -IN….Bob Lake Grove was the honoree at a reception at the State Capitol Rotunda following his swearing- in ceremony, as he became the Workers’ Compensation Court Judge.
Supreme Court Justice John Rief officiated at the swearing -in and robing ceremony of Grove who was appointed for a six -year term by Gov. Brad Henry. Assisting with the “robing” was Grove’s goddaughter, Meridith Echols-Warren.
100 friends, court officials and members of the Judiciary attended the ceremony in the Supreme Court courtroom and the reception.
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Katrina Myers and Brenda Wood were in charge of collecting box tops. (Photo provided).
BACK- TO- SCHOOL….One of the back- to- school events in the Edmond area was the lunch buffet at Chisholm Elementary School. It was also information day for the school. The Parent Teacher Organization organized the lunch for teachers and staff.
Joann Graham is Chisholm principal.
Parties Extra!—September 4th, 2008—Birthday Party….Happy Birthday… Norman Wilks
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CELEBRATING IN NEW MEXICO
Norman Wilks celebrated his 80th birthday in Taos, New Mexico, during the Labor Day weekend. Friends who meet monthly for brunch went with him.
There was a dinner at the Stakeout Restaurant hosted by Karen and Herb Klontz, Peggy and John Crawford, Pat Snyder and Nancy and Les Conner (who could not be there.)
The next day Olive and Gerry Austin, Randy Floyd, Michael Smith and Florence Birdwell entertained at a Mexican luncheon at Rancho Plaza Grill. That night Marion and Atlee Vernon, Betty Bradley and Ed Huycke were dinner hosts at Lambert’s Restaurant.
The final morning of the weekend, Betty and Norris Price were hosts for brunch in their home, 12 miles from Taos. Co-hosting were Katy and Jim Davis, Joan Gilmore and Al McLaughlin.
Betty Price welcomes guests to the birthday brunch in her home. (Photo provided).
Pat Snyder and Betty Bradley were at the party. (Photo provided).
Norris Price decorates for the party. (Photo provided).
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Parties Extra!—September 3,2008—Podcast….Lyric Theater Broadway Ball
Carrie Leonard and Erika Huffman talk about the Lyric Theater Broadway Ball. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
Parties Extra!—September 1, 2008—Reception and Ceremony Honor New Worker’s Compensation Court Judge
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NEW JUDGE
Supreme Court Justice John Riet and Judge Bob Lake Grove were in the Supreme Court Courtroom for Grove’s swearing-in ceremony. (Photo by Jamie Pitts)
Supreme Court Justice John Rief officiated at the swearing -in and robing ceremony of Bob Lake Grove who was appointed for a six -year term as Workers’ Compensation Court Judge. He was appointed by Gov. Brad Henry.
Assisting with the “robing” was Grove’s goddaughter, Meridith Echols -Warren.
100 friends, court officials and members of the Judiciary attended the ceremony in the Supreme Court courtroom and the reception at the State Capitol Rounda following.
Scott Suchy, Alan Harris, Bob Funston, Saundra O’Hara and Judge Bob Lake Grove were at the reception at the State Capitol. (Photo by Jamie Pitts).
Part of the reception crowd at the State Capitol congratulate the honoree. (Photo by Jamie Pitts).
Meridith Echols-Warren and Judge Bob Lake Grove celebrate at the reception. She is Grove’s goddaughter and participated in the robing ceremony. (Photo by Jamie Pitts).
Alan Harris, Jamie Pitts, Judge Bob Lake Grove and Teta Turner were at the party. (Photo provided).
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Parties Extra!—August 31, 2008—Alumni members meet for drinks
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TRI DELTAS CONVENE
Kimberly Casey, Rhonda Williston, Sarah Butler, Gaye Wilson and Marca Floyd gather in the Floyd home for the Tri Delta Bullfrog party. (Photo by David Faytinger).
SERVING DRINKS…Members of Delta Delta Delta alumni and their husbands and dates were at the home of Marca and Bob Floyd in Edmond for the 33rd annual bullfrog party.
Officers of the sorority and committee chairmen cooked their specialities for the event.Guests included Linda and Jim Lowe, Claudia Robertson, Rhonda and Jim Williston, Betsy and Bob Thorpe, Karla and George Cholmia, Debbie and Jim Goodman, Sally and Ed Stringer, Leslie and John Baumert, Lisa and Alan Synar, Ashley Haggard, Saundra and Jim Farha, Joy and Jerry Richardson, Gaye and Stan Wilson, Cindy, Mike and Allison Tarpley, Melanie and Van Russell, Sallie Cavin and Diane and Joel Lippert.
Others were Erin and Tom Medlin, Marylee, Tim and Juliann Strange, Ann and Craig McBride, Sarah and Doug Butler, Lynn and John Robberson, Kaye and John Love, Kimberly Casey, Ann and Max Crandall, Shirley and J.W> Michael, Kimand Mike Mullins, Kacey Luster, Sally Sparks, Amanda and Tyler Laughlin, Jacque and Rick Dean, Lucy and Steve Hoelscher, Cathy Cundiff, Salli Reese and Bill White, Teresa and Richard Carrington and Lindsey Sutherland.Rhonda Williston is club president.
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Barbara Watson, Mary and Mike Mahaffey and Sally Saunders were at the party Barbara and Hank Watson and Sally Saunders hosted for the Mahaffey’s 50th wedding anniversary. The event was in the Saunders home in Santa Fe. (Photo provided).
TRES AMIGOS…..Sally Saunders and Barbara and Hank Watson were hosts for a party in the Saunders home in Santa Fe, New Mexico. They honored Mary and Mike Mahaffey who celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary with a party the night before.
The Saunders’ home was filled with yellow marigold flower leis. The flowers decorated lampshades, chandeliers, bowls and trays. The hostesses had shopped the outdoor SF market that morning for the special decorations. Oklahoma City friends of the Mahaffey’s were special guests and they congregated on the two patios of the home.After the cocktail event, many of the guests went to dinner in the SF area and some attended the opera. The next night (Sunday) at the same time of the Saturday party, there was a major ice storm in the New Mexico town.
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Young and Kyung-Whan Min, Bill Guilford, Virginia Campbell, Frances Strickland and Robert Oltmanns were at the Tropical Heat Wave Dance at the Oklahoma City Golf & Country Club. (Photo by David Faytinger).
LET’S DANCE…Joie De Vie Dance Club members were at the Oklahoma City Golf & Country Club for their summer dance. Kip Curtis Combo played and theme for the event was “Tropical Heat Wave Dance.”
The evening began with cocktails and hors d’oeuvres at 7 p.m. followed by dancing an hour later. Ms. Senior Oklahoma Ladell Maxwell Brown of Ada performed the Hawaiian hula for the crowd. This was the dance she will perform in the talent part of the Ms. Senior America pageant competition in Atlantic City, N.J., in October.
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Kelly Suchy and Caroline Cannon were at New Leaf Florist’s art show . (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
SIX ARTISTS….Local artists Carlie Bentley, David Duke, Ron Ferrell, Samantha Lamb, C. Lynne Mallett and Brian Palmer exhibited their best artwork at New Leaf Florist’s 10th annual art show.
Guests were served wine and hors d’oeuvres in the shop and also cupcakes. Six trays of decorated gourmet cupcakes were dished up to art-goers to promote the new SaraSara Cupcake Bakery which will open downtown on NW 9th and at a cupcake bar in Casady Square. Family members Toni Hoffman, Teta Turner, Caroline Cannon and Kelly Suchy were at the party advertising the October opening. Jamie Bramble played the guitar during the party.CLICK HERE to see more Parties Extra! pictures in the photo galleries
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Parties Extra!—August 25, 2008—Red Earth has afternoon party
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RED EARTH… FUN AND FUND-RAISING AND FEATHERS
Party-goers listen to the information about the auction items. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace.)
Red Earth board members and their friends were in the home of Carleen and Jerry Burger for desserts, wine and champagne.
There was a silent and live auction of artwork including paintings, jewelry, Indian pots and one beautifully- woven shawl. Robin Marsh was the auctioneer.
Guests at the party hear about the auction items. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace)
Board members brought special desserts for the party which were judged in the categories of “Best Dessert” and “Best Presentation.” Lou Kerr and Louise Painter won the prizes. Mark Sullivan and Bill Wallace were judges for the competition.
Executive director Connie Yellowman talked about the upcoming Red Earth activities. The 13th annual Allie Reynolds Memorial Golf Tournament is set for Oct. 13 at the Oklahoma City Golf and Country Club.
The next Red Earth Festival is June 5, 6 and 7, 2009, at the Cox Convention Center.
Lou Kerr wins ribbon for delicious dessert contest. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
Louise Painter displays her prize after winning for one of the best desserts. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
Special desserts were served at the party. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
Special cookie trays were on the table. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
Red Earth Executive Director Connie Yellowman welcomes the guests. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
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