By Callie Gordon, Lillie-Beth Brinkman, Helen Ford Wallace

QUESTION: I live in a nice neighborhood. Walks are common among neighbors and their furry friends. These ordinarily friendly folk have no problem allowing their animals to let loose their business anywhere — driveways, gardens, lawns. On numerous occasions. I have offered a plastic bag for cleanup only to be rejected. My grievance is the lack of responsibility for their pet. Any thoughts on this problem?

Classen High School alumni James Thomas, Jim Kyle and John Shannon at the Classen Museum.  (Photo by Paul B. Southerland).

Classen High School Alumni Association members honored three editors of “The NCL, New Classen Life”  magazine. The reception was in the Classen Museum. Jim Kyle, James Thomas, print editors, and Johnny Shannon, photography and cover editor, have published the magazine for the past 15 years. Norma Harris is alumni president.

The editors were presented acrylic plaques topped with the Comet school symbol. Engraving said “ Outstanding Service to NCL Magazine.”

CALLLIE’S ANSWER: Yes, if you are passing the food to your right it would arrive at the persons left. The food and plates are passed to the right. If it is a casual setting, some people don’t think about the way they are passing.

LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: No, the way to serve food hasn’t changed, but people probably forget or may not know in the first place. Pass the food to the right (counterclockwise), unless the person is sitting next to you, directly to your left, and you can just hand the food to them. This method is a long-standing etiquette tradition, but it also keeps the table-passing running smoothly, without collisions.

HELEN’S ANSWER: We are still passing to the right. This is the convenient way to pass food so there is no confusion for guests or problems with someone caught in the middle of dishes coming both ways. Guests can pass the dishes along the table and hold it for the person on his right if that person needs help with serving.

GUEST’S ANSWER: Mollie Bennett, Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon coordinator: Always pass the dishes, or anything else at the table — such as the bread, dressings, and salt and pepper — to the right.

Callie Gordon is 20-something, Lillie-Beth Brinkman is in her 40s, and social columnist Helen Ford Wallace is 60-plus. 

To ask an etiquette question, email helen.wallace@cox.net.

YOU ASK! WE ANSWER! YOU DECIDE!

By Callie Gordon, Lillie-Beth Brinkman, Helen Ford Wallace

QUESTION: I just celebrated my birthday and my best friend brought me a box of candy to celebrate. I have been on a diet for the last several months and am having a hard time losing 20 pounds. My friend knows this. What should I have said when she brought me the chocolates?

CALLIE’S ANSWER: I wouldn’t read too much into this. Simply say thank you and give yourself a pat on the back for NOT eating the candy. Happy Birthday!

LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: Maybe your friend thought you “deserved” to celebrate with candy and take a break after your hard work losing weight or maybe she wanted to acknowledge your birthday but couldn’t think of anything to get you. Or maybe her intentions were more sinister than that and secretly they included trying to derail your efforts to make yourself healthier. I don’t think that you have to probe deeper into the meaning behind her gift, unless you have ongoing, additional concerns about your friendship that you need to sort out. The proper response to the gift was an enthusiastic “thank you” or, if you have to say more, “Thank you! This looks yummy. I’ll have to share with my family later.” There’s no need for an explanation. Enjoy your weight-loss success personally, give the candy away secretly later and thank your friend with a note for the gift and for thinking of you on your birthday. Celebrate the friendship, but overlook the gift. Even a best friend misfires sometimes. Congratulations on the weight loss.

HELEN’S ANSWER: Candy has lots of calories, but most people don’t consider them when buying a gift. A simple thank you would be in order for this one. You probably don’t need to go into a long explanation of why you don’t want candy or how rude it is of her to give you something that she knows you should not have. Give the box away to someone else very quickly so you won’t be tempted.

GUEST’S ANSWER: Hilarie Blaney, etiquette and international protocol consultant: I would say thank you and re-gift or put it in the trash. Then I would revisit my friendship!

Callie Gordon is twenty-something, Lillie-Beth Brinkman is in her 40s, and social columnist Helen Ford Wallace is 60-plus.

Joining Helen Ford Wallace on Parties Extra! this week were Linda Haneborg and Sen. David Holt, chairman and co-chairman of the Myriad Botanical Gardens “Splendor in the Gardens” Gala.

Blake Shelton sings his heart out. (Photos by Helen Ford Wallace).

The crowd!

(Lillie-Beth and I were honored to be at the “Healing in the Heartland: Relief Benefit Concert” last night, despite getting really soaked from head to toe in a major downpour trying to get in the Chesapeake Arena.

The fans knew every word  of the songs the performers were singing and the stars sang their hearts out to the people of Oklahoma. Here is Lillie-Beth’s  story—)

By Lillie-Beth Brinkman

Blake Shelton led an all-star cast of performers into Oklahoma City on Wednesday night to perform at “Healing in the Heartland: Relief Benefit Concert.”

By 10:08 Central Time, before the show aired on the West Coast, the concert had raised $3.7 million for the United Way of Central Oklahoma’s May Tornadoes Relief Fund, said Stacey D. Stewart, U.S. president of United Way Worldwide, who was in Oklahoma City for the benefit. That amount also was tallied before numbers from ticket sales and an auction came in, she said, so organizers were expecting it to be higher.

The lineup included four high-powered Oklahoma country stars: Shelton, an Ada native; his wife and fellow Tishomingo resident Miranda Lambert; Reba McEntire, who hails from Chockie; and Vince Gill, who was born in Norman and raised in Oklahoma City.

Rain-soaked crowds swarmed into the Chesapeake Arena wearing ponchos and carrying umbrellas just in time for the concert to kick off at 7:30 p.m. Wednesday in Oklahoma City.

It was televised live on NBC starting at 8 p.m. and that part of the show included heartfelt pleas to donate and stars that referred to things like “Oklahoma’s strong hands and compassionate hearts,” as Toby Keith said on video.

Before the televised part, Team Usher and Team Blake from “The Voice” opened with the national anthem and Gov. Mary Fallin, United Way representatives, Moore Mayor Glenn Lewis and others offered thanks and support for to tornado victims, first responders, volunteers and their community.

“We teach each other to love one another, to protect one another and take care of one another,” Lewis said. “That is called the ‘Oklahoma Spirit.’”

Against backdrops of photos and stories from the storms and recovery, Blake Shelton kicked off the televised portion.

“I know you came through another freakin’ storm just to be here,” Shelton said to rally the wet but enthusiastic crowd. He started the concert with “God Gave Me You.”

Also performing were Ryan Tedder of pop-rock band OneRepublic; and country stars Rascal Flatts, which includes guitarist Joe Don Rooney, of Picher; and country performers Luke Bryan and Darius Rucker. Pop star Usher, whose sister lives in Oklahoma City, also performed, including a duet with Shelton, “Home” as images of the tornado’s destruction showed on a screen in the background.

Rucker sang “One Heartbeat.” McEntire, “Everyday Heroes” and Vince Gill, “Threaten Me With Heaven.”

Sending messages of support and calls for donations by video were Carrie Underwood, Jimmy Fallon, Jay Leno, Garth Brooks, Toby Keith and Trisha Yearwood, among others.

But the real fun began after the televised show was over. Shelton played host to a rousing party of musicians who came back for more songs – Rucker, McEntire, Bryan, Lambert and Usher. While the first half of the concert focused on the tornado relief efforts, Oklahoma’s compassion and strength and raising money to help, the second act served to give people a chance to loosen up and forget about the tragic events of the past week.

“Man it’s good to play music in Oklahoma,” Shelton told the revved-up crowd after singing “Honey Bee.” He noted it was going to be a “jam session from here on out. … This normally would be a very expensive jam session.”

Highlights included Shelton and McEntire singing a duet of “Oklahoma Swing” and Lambert’s second appearance, which she began by apologizing for breaking into tears during the first act. During that appearance, she sang “The House That Built Me” against an emotional photo montage that recognized the efforts of the Central Oklahoma Humane Society to find the owners of animals lost in the tornadoes.

“I’m sorry I cried,” Lambert said, referring to her first performance. “I tried real hard not to. But we are here to blow off a little steam.”

After Lambert sang favorites like “Love’s Given Up On Me,” she praised her husband for his efforts and gave him a long hug.

“I’m really proud of you for making all this happen tonight,” Lambert told Shelton before she walked off stage. “And you’re really hot, too.”

“Everyone has their way to help, and mine as an entertainer is to perform to help raise money and awareness for this tragedy,” said Shelton, a coach on NBC’s hit reality show “The Voice,” in a news release. “This is why I want to do this special and especially hold it in Oklahoma City, which is near ground zero.”

Working with its local community partners, United Way of Central Oklahoma will use the fund for immediate, intermediate and long-term recovery and rebuilding efforts in Oklahoma following the tornadoes that devastated Moore on May 20.

Love’s Travel Stops underwrote the concert cost. The Oklahoma City-based company previously announced last week was earmarking $1.5 million of a $3 million total donation to fund a benefit event.

Gov. Mary Fallin wore her cowboy boots!

Waiting for the show to being.

Junior League 85th Anniversary Chairmen Sara Crooks and Katie Moore. (Photos by Helen Ford Wallace).

 400 Oklahoma City Junior League members and guests celebrated the 85^th anniversary with a party at the Oklahoma City Golf and Country Club. They recognized the past by introducing past presidents and past award winners. They recognized the present with a video about the impact the JL has had on the community through effective action and leadership of trained volunteers.  They recognized the future by presenting 85^th anniversary gifts to the YWCA and Myriad Botanical Gardens. Accepting for the YWCA was Jackie Steyn and for the Myriad Gardens was Maureen Heffernan.

Sara Crooks and Katie Moore were co-chairmen of the event and committee members were Taylor Boswell, Mandi Briggs, Kristen Brown, Peggy Burris, Amna Choudry, Matilda Clements, Dana Culton, Janet Daugherty, Mary Delafield, Katherine Hager, Margaret Hoge, Ashley Jackson, Leah Jackson, Caroline Joyce, Kristi Leonard, Alexis Lux, Macey Panach, Jennifer Privett, Jenifer Randle, Cristi Reiger, Leigh Scully, Leah Sullivan, Kimberly L. Swan, Whitney Tero, Danielle Toussaint, Tracy Washam and Christi Woodworth.  Cristi Reiger is JL President.

Tall vases of roses and green hydrangeas decorated some of the tables and other tables had short vases filled with roses. Cloths were black and white striped. Thinly sliced beef tenderloin Carpaccio and lobster risotto fritter, white asparagus soup and an assortment of desserts of chocolate truffles, pralines, mini crème brulees, strawberry parfaits and mini cupcakes were served to the party-goers. Another group, who didn’t come for dinner, arrived at 9 p.m. for the Encore Bash and dancing. Souled Out Band played.

For the formal event guests wore long and short dresses including: Karla Wallace, short rose-colored dress with rhinestone straps; Jeary Seikel, white chiffon top with gold slacks; Kay Oliver, navy blue short dress with ruffles; Cristi Reiger, navy blue floor -length dress with chiffon appliquéd overlay; Becky Howell, dusty rose silk long dress; Katie Moore, sequined strapless white long dress; Adrienne Nobles, gray silk long dress; Jose Freede, white glittery pants suit; Miki Farris, black- sequined short dress; Whitney Tero, white rose-patterned ballgown with one shoulder strap.

Junior League President Cristi Reiger.

Becky Howell, Jose Freede, Adrienne Nobles.

Joan Gilmore, Kay Oliver.

Miki Farris.

Beautiful tables.

Ree Drummond and her Confessions of a Pioneer Woman blog listed links for helping our tornado victims.

Note from PW: Yesterday I posted a list of organizations that are helping Oklahoma tornado victims. You can see that list here if you’d like to help, or check out this page on NewsOK’s website for a regularly updated list including local organizations and drop-off centers. Please continue to pray for those who are hurting in Oklahoma. http://tinyurl.com/payjvax