Got questions for 20-40-60? To ask an etiquette question, email helen.wallace@cox.net.

By Callie Gordon, Lillie-Beth Brinkman, Helen Ford Wallace

QUESTION: If a pregnant woman had a first-time baby shower and then becomes pregnant two years later, is it acceptable for her to have a second one if friends/relatives want to plan one?

CALLIE’S ANSWER: If the friends and relatives want to have one, what is the problem? Go for it!

LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: My dear friends celebrated baby showers for each of my three babies with me, and for them (my friends), I am grateful. I have also hosted baby showers for friends having children after their firstborn.

The shower for the first child generally is the biggest one that covers the items a mom needs. The first one often includes more people, but the subsequent ones can be equally as meaningful. If the child is going to be a different gender than the first one, the mom may need new clothes, and even if she has all the basics, it’s fun to have some items that are new and clean and untouched by baby teeth or hands.

When you’re in the middle of child-rearing, especially when your kids are young, there’s never enough time to see friends, and a baby shower is a happy excuse for everyone to get together, no matter how many children were born before the latest one.

HELEN’S ANSWER: Friends are wonderful! If they want to celebrate your second-born child with you by having a shower, that is wonderful, too!

Children are such treasures, and by getting together to celebrate a new life, it adds such pleasure to the family. My heartfelt thanks to my friends who chose to celebrate the birth of my children by having showers and bringing all sorts of baby items that I needed.

I still question family members hosting the shower, but sometimes if family members are the hosts, they invite only other family members to participate.

Other ideas for second and third showers include: having guests bring books, food items that the new mother might need for her freezer or items for the mother-to-be. People have had grandmother showers and have brought toys for the baby to have at the grandmother’s house.

GUEST’S ANSWER: Hilarie Blaney, etiquette and international protocol consultant: As we are well aware, the Post family knows how to handle this dilemma. In the most recent edition, “Emily Post’s Etiquette: Manners for a New World” (18th edition), the authors, all relatives of the original Emily Post, note that society is more mobile and that it’s not unusual for family members or close relatives to host the shower anymore. They also note that they approve of throwing second or third showers. Finally, because the parents likely have many things that they need, “a theme shower” would be a good idea.

I think EACH child of a friend or relative should be celebrated in some way, either by a gift or a sip-and-see-party, where gifts are not requested, but appropriate and appreciated. Most of your friends and family will want to give you a gift for Baby No. 2 or 3, and some people want to make it a fun event. If so, the gifts lean more toward clothing or the latest trend in baby items because the main baby needs are in place.

Callie Gordon is 20-something, Lillie-Beth Brinkman is in her 40s, and social columnist Helen Ford Wallace is 60-plus. 

 Lindsey Newcomb, Emily Blaschke, Laura Kirkpatrick, Adrienne Husted, Lauren Brollier had fun at the party. (Photo by David Faytinger).

Laura Kirkpatrick was honored at a baby shower in the home of Lindsey Newcomb. Hostesses were Emily Blaschke, Lauren Brollier, Niki Fitzpatrick, Adrienne Husted and Newcomb. Laura and Austin Kirkpatrick’s baby is due in September.

 The hostesses gave her a pink Herend figurine rabbit.

Deborah Cryder, Liza Browne Cryder, Cheryl Browne, Debbie Snell enjoy the party. (Photos by David Faytinger).

  Liza Browne Cryder was honoree at a baby shower and brunch in the home of Sandy Meyers. She and her husband, Sterling Cryder, are expecting twin girls in September.

Meyers, Stephanie Watts, Jill King, Becky Love, Judy Lehmbeck, Sara Northwood, Candy Ainsworth, DeDe Benham, Sarah Hogan and Annie Bohanon were party planners.

The dining room chandelier was a cascade of vine roping with tiny pink roses, suspended by pink and green grosgrain ribbon. Also hanging amidst the flowers were tiny footprints and they were also on the table and imprinted on the napkins. Multi-colored tiny cupcakes were served for dessert.

A pink tea table (with a music box) and chairs were given to the honoree from the hostesses.

Among those at the party were Leslie Samara, Millie Hightower, Debra Cryer, Cheryl Browne, Debbie Snell, Kanela Huff, Ann Johnstone, Pam Smith, Pat Edwards, Sally Burpee, Linda James, Geraldine Raupe, Cindy Shelby, Sandy Childress, Karen Hanstein, D’Arline McCubbin, Judy Jordan, Susan Edwards, Lucinda Huffman, Sarah Malloy, Ginny Greenberg, Rita Moore, Helen Sullivan, Kirk Hammons, Libby Steakley, Kathy Walker, Candy Reece, Coe London, Connie Givens and Julie Coyle.

Annie Bohanon, Judy Lehmbeck, Sandy Meyers, Stephanie Watts, Becky Love were among the hostesses.

Jill King, Patty Anthony, DeDe Benham, Donna Bozalis were at the event.

Flower-bedecked centerpiece at the shower. (Photos by Helen Ford Wallace).

A baby shower honored Reistle Cohenour. It was at the Oklahoma City Golf & Country Club. She and Chris Cohenour’s baby is due in August.

Hostesses were Barbara Beeler, Sally Bentley, Fanny Bolen, Martha Bradshaw, Susan Hoffman, Linda James, Susan Sigmon, Libby Steakley.

Tables had blue tablecloths (it’s a boy) and the dessert/cookie table featured a daisy-decorated stork carrying a baby doll in a blue and white blanket. The stork was set in a bouquet of baby’s breath flowers and baby toys.

 Among those at the party were Bette MacKellar, Kathy Griffin, Caroline Cohenour, Jeary Seikel, Christy Everest, Leslie Regens, Laura Kirkpatrick, Lauren Brollier, Sally Royse, Becky Johnston, Linda Klos and Lynn Cohenour.

Reistle  Cohenour, Susan Sigmon and Patty Cohenour check out the shower gifts.

Sally Royse and Libby Steakley were at the event.

Tea sandwiches and cookies were served at the party. (Photos by Helen Ford Wallace).

A baby shower honored Jane and Tripp Cunningham whose baby girl is due soon. Hostesses were Lisa Allen, Judy Jordan and Ruth Lampton at Full Circle Book Store.

Tea sandwiches, strawberries, mini- chicken salads, and monogrammed cookies (L for the baby’s name Lilly Jane) were served to the guests. A crystal vase filled with pink roses was the centerpiece.

Gifts included dresses, a bathtub and chair from the partygoers and a stuffed pink dog from grandmother, Marilyn Law.

Guests included Anne Collins, Linda James, Susan Hoffman, Pam Smith, Kaye Cook, Michele Huston, Janell Flanery, Tricia Law, Sherrie Cooper, Melissa Fletcher and Sugar Dozier.

Michele Huston, Jane Cunningham and Marilyn Law enjoy the party for Jane and Tripp.

Hostess Ruth Lampton, Pam Smith and Sugar Dozier enjoy the baby shower.

Robert and Paulette Gordon, Jeffrey Gordon, and Kyler and Stephanie Kanady were at the party in the Gordon home.  (Photo provided).

Stephanie and Kyler Kanady were honorees at a “Candy Land and Cocktails” baby shower in the home of Paulette and Robert Gordon. Hostesses were Elizabeth Gillum, Phebe Kallstrom, Jami VanCamp, Jennifer Wallace and Marsha Wooden.

Large lollipops, hard candy and a glittering Candy Land game board was on the table. Large pink bows and life- sized candy decorated the living areas of the house. The library was decorated like a nursery and all the gifts for the baby-to-be were set there.

Foods included spring rolls, marinated kabobs, cupcakes, cookies, cake pops and pecan cups. Rock candy, giant gumballs and chocolate almonds were in large martini glasses.

 Chocolate pretzels, cherries, potato chips were wrapped with paper and pink ribbons and personalized with the baby’s name, Olivia Grace, who is due in March.

Among the 75 guests were Anne and Ed Dalton, Helen and Jorge Noriega, Sherry and Raymond Cohlmia, Lynette and Clark Hyde, Charles Lutz, Mary Anne Malone, Jane and Kurt Fleischfresser, Michel Buthion, Alain Buthion, Seyan, Leigh and Virginia Hefner.

Linda Klos, Mary Price, Eileen Price Everett and  Jeary Seikel enjoy the party. (Photos by David Faytinger).

Eileen Price Everett was honored at a party in the home of Jane Elliott. Co-hostesses were Sody Clements, Mary Robideaux, Susan Wendelken, Cindy Biddinger, Charlotte Brown, Linda Klos and Jeary Seikel.

The table was decorated with jars holding pink candies, polka dot candles, pink carnations, baby roses and white hydrangeas. Booties, rattlers and pacifiers were hanging from the chandelier. On the menu: cranberry spiced punch, vodka tomato pasta, fruit salad and baby girl themed cut out cookies.

Eileen and husband Josh Everett will have the baby in February.

Among the guests were Linda Steinhorn, Debby Dudman, Elaine Levy, Gayle Semtner, Elizabeth Taylor, Natalie Biddinger, Marinell Guild, Betsy Hyde, Karen Ingram, Nancy Anthony, Rene Vassar and Marty Margo.

Jane Elliott, Susan Wendelken, Mary Robideaux, Sody Clements were among the hostesses.

Charlotte Brown, Dian Everett, Eileen Price Everett and Cindy Biddinger were at the shower.

Anne Price, Mary Price, Eileen Everett were at the party in the home of Tina Beal. (Photo by David Faytinger).

A dinner and baby shower honored Eileen Everett. She and husband Josh Everett will have a baby girl in February.

The party was in Tina Beal’s home and co-hostesses were Kylie Beal, Linda Garrett, Lizanne Reger, Marion Parke, Debby Dudman, Meg and Kris Weir.

A small pink Christmas tree decorated with live flowers and baby themed ornaments, including baby pictures of Eileen and Josh, was on the buffet table. Bouquets of flower including pink roses, peonies, ranunculus, white lilac and soft green hydrangeas were set around the room.

Desserts were  pink cupcakes and cookies shaped like baby bottles, baby carriages and flowers.

Among the guests were Mary Price, Anne Price, Dian Everett, Mary Reneau, Burke Beck, Jennifer Klos, Susan Wendelken, Amanda Wendelken, Ashley Black, Sally Black, Alison Taylor, Elizabeth Taylor, Gayle Kearns, Leslie Yarbrough, Allyson Vistica, Mary Anne Cockrum, Holly Cockrum.

Antique toys hung from the chandelier in the home of Jeary and Mike Seikel. (Photos by Helen Ford Wallace).

Jeary Seikel and Susan Sigmon were among the hostesses for the baby shower. The party was in the Seikel home.

A baby shower and party honored Angie Sanger in the home of Jeary Seikel. Angie and Ford Sanger are expecting a baby boy.

Co-hostesses were Bette MacKellar, Marty McCharen, Linda James, Janie Axton, Barbara Beeler, Pam Smith, Susan Sigmon,  Nancy Ellis and Kirk Hammons.

Antique bears, trains, fire trucks and cars were hung with ribbons from the chandelier. A huge bouquet of Gerber daisies and blue hydrangeas was the centerpiece.

Dad-to-be Ford Sanger arrived in time to help unwrap some of the gifts.

Janie Axton and Barbara Beeler were hostesses.

Marilyn Torbett, Pam Smith and Jackie Jones talk at the baby shower.

Chris Verity, Angie Sanger, Patty Cohenour, Linda James and Ann Jacobson enjoy the event.

Holly Healey, Jeary Seikel and Jenny Kallenberger have fun at the party.

Debby Dudman, Marilyn Law and Barbara Thompson were at the party.

Chris Purcell and Dana Gordon watch as the gifts are opened.

Cindy Johnson, Judi Freyer, Lynn White and Joy Tucker talk at the party.

Sherry Sullivan Clark, Ann Jacobson, Jessie Ann Wallentine and Helen Woodward enjoy the event.

Dr. Sarah Yoakam Burger, Margaret Spears and Stacey Stiglets were at the party. (Photo by Steve Maupin.)

A brunch and baby shower honored Margaret Spears. The party was given by Sherry Beasley, Cathey Cooper, Judy Dennis, Cheryl McLure, Susan Nicholson, Cindy Rice, Lil Ross, Patti Shidler and Sylvia Slater in the Beasley home.

Grandmother and aunt of the baby, Dixie Spears and Julie Adams, from Arkansas created a tiered cake from baby diapers. In the layers were Arkansas Razorback football team branded items including baby shoes, baby bottle, red toy pig, piggy bank tied with “Go Hogs” streamers.

Among the guests were  Harolyn Enis, Carlene Burger, Betsy Hyde, Marian Kiker, Linda Steinhorn, Gwen Cockrill, Judy Wilson, Leslie Schwartz, Corey Blake, Stacey Stiglets, Linda Garrett, Susan Lewis, Bette MacKellar and Anne Nicholson.

Margaret and John Spears are expecting a baby boy to be named Michael Thomas Spears at the end of the month.