20-40-60…We got mail!
Callie, Lillie-Beth and I have received five e-mail letters about 20-40-60. Here they are, unsigned, with links to the particular columns.
1. “20-40-60. Your answers are outstanding! All of them are great! I forwarded it to my husband and we decided we have a new plan of attack. We need to set boundaries – politely. I guess we were maybe too intimidated to do that, but I think you all are right. Better late than never! And I love the suggestion to put them to work!
“Thanks for answering my question!”
20-40-60 column posted on Parties Extra! blog on Jan. 21, 2010 
2. “Hello – 20-40-60 Etiquette Gurus
“Here is a little point of interest that has endured time in the hospital setting (I was instructed when I began working at OUHSC. ) Doctors are always addressed by their colleagues, assistants and patients as “Doctor”. When addressing the boss in front of a client or patient it would be very impertinent to call him/herby their first name.
“It would might imply to others that the two individuals were on a more personal basis and not all business. You do not speak to doctors in the halls unless they speak to you first. ( that old ‘don’t speak until called upon’).
“These seemingly old fashioned rules are in fact ( as told to me ) important to maintain the serious nature of hospital business.”
20-40-60 column posted on Parties Extra! on Jan. 13, 2010
“I was in your journalism class at Northeast in 1966. The Norseman Scroll was fun to produce, and you were a great instructor. I was a sophomore that year.
“So, here we are some 44 years later. Being 59-and-a-half right now, I’ve been considering myself 60ish. They say 60 is the new 40, you know.
“My etiquette predicament? Should I nudge the former teacher and suggest she might be more 70ish? Am I way off base? Just wondering.”
(Helen’s answer from the 60 of 20-40-60…..this is my decade birthday year and maybe I can be 60-plus forever. Works for me.)
4. “Helen. Although I was not in a sorority at the University of Arkansas, my years there were during the waning years of “Gracious Living.”
“During my freshman year in Fulbright Hall and sophomore and junior years at Carnall Hall (much like a sorority due to its physical stature and number of residents – about 75), we were given rules – including the one about salt, cutting hamburgers, no eating of ice, etc.
“We had sitdown meals at Fulbright, Monday-Thursday evenings and sitdown meals for Sunday lunch at Carnall (I don’t think we had them during the week).
“My senior year was at a coed dorm — or what passed for coed in 1967 (girls in one building, guys in another, with a cafeteria in between)….a long way from “Gracious Living.” I am now amazed at the unquestioning manner in which we accepted those rules – and the guys in their dorms had none! I was part of the last group of U of A girls that would receive a call-down if the salt wasn’t passed correctly.
“I recently came across a printed list of those rules from my 2 years in Carnall. Today’s college girls would think they’re fiction.”
20-40-60 column posted on Parties Extra! blog on Feb.3, 2010
5. “Lillie-Beth, I enjoyed yesterday’s 20/40/60 column regarding salt and pepper etiquette.
In my Job Search Toolkit workshops, I relate a story about a hiring manager who conducted second job interviews during breakfast or lunch meetings.
He observed candidates decisions to salt their meal before tasting it. How could candidates know if salt was needed before tasting? Would these candidates make business decisions before gathering all the facts? Did the hiring manager eliminate a candidate on seasoning food before tasting, I don’t know.
However, many details factor into a hiring decision. Again, I love the 20/40/60 column.”
20-40-60 column posted on Parties Extra! blog on Feb.3, 2010:)
Dr. Abbey Onan marries Maj. Vincent Lappano
Maj. and Mrs. Vincent Lappano leave in the 1941 Buick get-away car after their wedding reception. (Photos provided).
Dr. Abbey Onan and Maj. Vincent Lappano were married Jan. 16th at Saint Monica Catholic Church in Edmond. Family and close friends attended. The bride wore a traditional wedding dress and a quartz necklace and her mother’s crystal pendant for the wedding and an eight- strand turquoise necklace for the reception.
The reception was at the Petroleum Club North where Maj. Joe Don Baker played the horn and sang. There was also a piano player.
The newly-weds honeymooned in Cancun, Mexico.
The newly weds at the church.
Virgil and Donna Onan, Abbey and Vincent Lappano, Madelyn, Rebecca and Brody Onan after the wedding ceremony.
Sooner Stiletto members mentor women’s basketball team at the University of Oklahoma
Helen talks to Judy Hatfield, Gloria Nevarez and Carolyn Winchester about the OU Sooner Stilettos!
Daffodils are available from the American Cancer Society
Daffodils are now available from the American Cancer Society. The ACS Daffodil Days Program offers fresh -cut daffodils for a $10. donation. The last day for advance orders is Friday, Feb. 19th, and delivery days will be March 8-10.
Jaclyn Haynie is chairman of Western Oklahoma’s 2010 Daffodil Days campaign. “We all have the power to make a difference for those facing cancer, and their families. By giving daffodils, we are actually sharing the hope of a world with less cancer and more birthdays,” she said.
ACS members will coordinate all activities regarding the ordering and delivery of daffodils. There is also a bear and a bunch option for $25. It comes with a bear and bouquet of 10 daffodil stems.
For more information, to request daffodils, or to get involved with the program, contact Haynie at 405-841-5818, or jaclyn.haynie@cancer.org. You may also visit www.cancer.org/daffodils.
20-40-60 Etiquette question and answers
Parties Extra!…20-40-60 Question…from a recent table conversation.
YOU ASK…WE ANSWER…YOU DECIDE
QUESTION: Is there a correct way to pass the salt? (and pepper)???
Callie’s Answer: Pass the salt and pepper TOGETHER! I was always taught they are married and they never want to be apart, so do them a favor and keep them paired! Also, before pouring salt all over your food (Dad), it is polite to try the food first.
Lillie-Beth’s Answer:
1) Pass the salt and pepper together, even if the person only asks for one. That keeps people from having to look for the orphaned shaker.
2) Don’t hand the shakers directly to another person. Set them on the table, and let that person pick them up.
But in doing some research, I learned there are more, some more accepted than others. I was unfamiliar with the last two listed here:
· After someone asks you to pass the salt, don’t use it first while it travels. Wait until it gets to that person, and then ask for it back.
· Taste your food first before you add any salt or pepper.
· Place the salt shaker to the right side of the pepper shaker, closer to the right hand, because most people are right-handed.
· Finally, one person I talked to had definite ideas about how to pass the two (left to right), receiving with the left hand and handing it off with the right.
Without getting to the separate, pressing question of whether you put the salt or pepper into the shaker with bigger holes, which of the above rules do you follow?
Helen’s Answer: Pass the salt and pepper together from left to right. Set them directly on the table instead of passing hand to hand. You might refrain from taking a shake of salt when it is enroute to someone else because that is considered terrible manners.
I was also taught that you should not reach over everyone at the table to snag the salt and pepper. Very politely ask, “do you care for the salt?”
Sorority manners class in the 1960’s dictated that the salt should never be passed alone.
Kathy Walbert Walker’s Answer: (She is former Nichols Hills Mayor, and current chairman of Nichols Hills Earth Day). Ask whoever has the salt, “Do you care for salt?” The answer could be a short thank you followed by your sprinkling salt on the roasted veal with wild mushrooms.
That person then passes the salt and pepper shakers or cellars in tandem by placing them to the right on the table. The next guest passes them on to the person who asked the question without engaging in their use along the way.
If the person who was nearest the salt and pepper doesn’t want any, he or she merely voices a “no thank you – would you?” and sends the salt and pepper on their way.
Our family prefers this practice in table manners etiquette, although, it is obviously not the only way of sharing at the table.
(Callie Gordon, a college sophomore, is a debutante this year and has been in many new social situations recently. Lillie-Beth Brinkman is a former debutante and currently the assistant features editor for The Oklahoman. Helen Wallace has written a social column for The Oklahoman for many years and has been on various local Ball committees.
This group does not always agree (via age differences), but they ALL see the need for proper behavior.)
Ask a specific etiquette question and you will get three answers…Then you decide for yourself how you would handle the situation. The answers have information for every age range….Callie is 20-ish; Lillie-Beth is 40-something, and Helen is 60-plus.
Please email us with your questions and be sure to follow us on Facebook, Twitter and daily blogs. We will try to answer your etiquette questions weekly on the Parties Extra! blog. Sometimes we will ask other people for their opinions.
Look for us!
helen.wallace@cox.net…lbrinkman@opubco.com… calliezok3@aol.com
Oklahoma City MacDowell Club of Allied Arts celebrates 90 years
Edward A. MacDowell
A celebration of the 90th birthday of the MacDowell Club of Allied Arts will be held at New Covenant Christian Church February 3. The club was organized in honor of Edward A. MacDowell, an American composer and pianist of the Romantic Period.
Each month, the club features Oklahoma artists. including Broadway, opera presentations, orchestral compositions by Oklahoma Philharmonic Orchestra members, choral groups. But this 90th birthday celebration will bring performances and visual art from MacDowell Club members.
The public is invited to this celebration, and new members are welcome. For questions, contact Skeeter Hall, president, 721-3453
Sooner Stilettos meet before OU women’s basketball game
Tim Lewis gives a door prize to Mary Jane Calvey at the Sooner Stilettos event. (Photos provided).
The Sooner Stilettos met at the Trails Golf Club in Norman prior to the University of Oklahoma Women’s Basketball game against Kansas. The 200- member organization supports women’s sports at the University of Oklahoma and were organized several years ago as a support club for Women’s Basketball.
Women’s basketball coach Sherri Coale, who usually wears high heel shoes along the sidelines during games, rallied the Stilettos to help her players get to know the women professionals and community leaders throughout the state.
Darlene Bowline was hostess for the pre-party at the Trails and Judy Hatfield is president of the Sooner Stilettos.
OU Women’s Softball Coach Patty Gasso brought the softball team members to introduce them to the Sooner Stilettos and to encourage the group to attend softball games this season.
Tim Lewis of Lewis Jewelers had a jewelry show for the guests.
Darlene Bowline, Judy J. Hatfield, Tim Lewis, Patty Gasso ,Gloria Nevarez were at the event.
Liz Murray is the speaker for the Girl Scouts Juliette Low Leadership Society Luncheon in Oklahoma City on Feb. 18th
Liz Murray-”Homeless to Harvard” (Photo provided)
Liz Murray will be the speaker at the 2010 Juliette Low Leadership Society Luncheon in Oklahoma City on Feb. 18. at the Oklahoma City Golf and Country Club.
Murray’s story was told on Lifetime Television’s orginal movie “Homeless to Harvard.” It is her story of living with two drug addicted parents and how she was homeless at age 15, but finally went to Harvard on a scholarship. “Liz Murray’s story of the stuggles she faced in her young life in order to reach her goals is an inspirational story that we believe will encourage young people in Oklahoma City, especially the girls served by Girl Scouts in our community,” Linda Whittington, co-chairman of the luncheon said.
“We are looking forward to hearing her speak at the Juliette Low Leadership Society Luncheon, but are also grateful that she is taking additional time while she is in Oklahoma City to speak to local students. Providing opportunities to learn about leadership is what Girl Scouts of Western Oklahoma is all about, ” she added.
Whittington and Ann-Clore Duncan are chairmen. To purchase a ticket for the luncheon, go online at www.gswestok.org/jlls.
See a video message from Liz Murray which is also posted on the GS-West web site: Click here for… http://tinyurl.com/yfopjch
Birthday party held for friends who celebrate January birthdays
To see a few more Parties Extra! pictures from last week, Click Here.
JANUARY BIRTHDAYS UNITE
Marilyn Balyeat and Candy Dulaney were at the January Birthday party. (Photos by Helen Ford Wallace).
Friends who share January birthdays met for the January Birthday Party in the home of Susan Edwards. Co-hostesses were Annie Bohanon, Sheryl Nikkel, Sandy Shapard and Martha Williams.
The dining room table held a centerpiece of tulips, Gerber daisies and Belles of Ireland. Menu items included tea sandwiches, dips and cookies.
Guests wore new nametags with their names and day of birth.
Among the people at the party were Jeary Seikel, Brenda McDaniel, Mary Kay Samis, Dannie Bea Hightower, Betsy Thorpe, Lil Ross, Marilyn Balyeat, Sue Ann Hyde, Connie Givens, Melba Rhinehart, Candy Dulaney, Jane Webb, Mary Margaret Ledbetter, Patty Jones, Caroline Gist, Phyllis Stough, Marilyn Smotherman, Jeanne Polk, Anne Holbrook.
Betsy Thorpe, Annie Bohanon and Susan Edwards have January birthdays.
Brenda McDaniel and Sandy Shapard celebrate their birthdays.
Cynthia Meyerson, Jeary Seikel and Lil Ross arrive at the party.
Oliver Boudin and Michael Powell talk about the Oklahoma City Golf and Country Club
To see a few more Parties Extra! pictures from last week, Click Here.
Oliver Boudin, Chief Operating Officer and Manager, and Michael Powell, Executive Chef, from the Oklahoma City Golf and Country Club, talk about their club and parties.
