How do I answer the question ‘why am I single?’ 20-40-60 answers
YOU ASK! WE ANSWER! YOU DECIDE!
Question: Dear 20-40-60,
I am a woman in her mid-thirties constantly being hassled by why I do not have a boyfriend or am not married.
Usually, I respond by telling people that you can have a fulfilling life still (career, friends, family). However, this only seems to make the other person want to argue their point further that I would be happier with a man in my life. I am tempted to just lie to people about my status. Ha!
Any helpful suggestions on a polite way to handle my response?
Callie’s answer: Yes, your life is still fulfilling but really?? Are you looking for that right person?
If you are, I would just simply say “I just haven’t found someone yet, but for the time being I am enjoying life by being with friends and family! I do have to say I love it for now!”
Being positive is always a better approach then argumentative.
Lillie-Beth’s answer: It probably gets tiring to hear the comments over and over, but can you laugh it off once you’ve explained that you’re happy?
One thing I used to say to deflect people from inquiring more about why a particular, expected stage in life wasn’t happening is “Oh, I’m not worried about it. XXX will happen if it’s supposed to when it’s the right time.” A statement like that doesn’t leave much room for additional comment.
If particular people commit the offense continually, then you’ll probably have to pull them over and tell them how you feel when they say things like that and to please stop. But a lie about your status would only lead to more explaining later, which is the last thing you’d want to do.
Helen’s answer: It is a normal question to ask young people (mid-thirties is way young to me) about their boy friends or special people in their lives and I don’t think that people asking these questions mean to put the single person on the defensive. Your response should be as honest as possible. “No, I don’t have anyone special right now” should be good enough. You certainly don’t need to explain any further. They don’t need to know you just broke up with your fiancé or that no one has asked you out in two years or you are very content being single.
Keep it light and non-argumentative. Most people understand when the topic is closed and will not ask further questions.
Heather Warlick-Moore’s answer: The way I see it, you have two choices. Like you said, you could lie and say you’re seeing someone but that it’s not serious. I know lying isn’t usually right, but neither is nagging a happily single person. Or, you could just be completely honest about how it makes you feel when people harp on you about being single.
Say something like, “I know you only want the best for me but it really hurts me when you and others imply that I am not happy with my life. When and if the time is right, I will settle down. So, tell me, where did you find those cute shoes?” If you turn the conversation to focus on the person you’re talking to, chances are, they’ll be distracted from the original conversation.
Callie Gordon, a college junior, was a 2009 debutante and has been in many new social situations recently. Lillie-Beth Brinkman is a former debutante and currently the assistant features editor for The Oklahoman. Helen Wallace has written a social column for The Oklahoman for many years and has been on various local Ball committees. Heather Warlick-Moore is Mood editor.
This group does not always agree (via age differences), but they ALL see the need for proper behavior.
Ask a specific etiquette question and you will get three answers…Then you decide for yourself how you would handle the situation. The answers have information for every age range….Callie is 20-ish; Lillie-Beth is 40-something, and Helen is 60-plus.
Please email us with your questions and follow us on Facebook, Twitter and daily blogs. We will try to answer your etiquette questions weekly on the Parties Extra! blog. Sometimes we will ask other people for their opinions.
Look for us!
helen.wallace@cox.net…lbrinkman@opubco.com… calliezok3@aol.com
Joy Reed Belt and M.J. Van Deventer entertain at brunch in Oklahoma City
JRB Art at the Elms: Scene of a recent party. (Photos by Helen Ford Wallace).
Joy Reed Belt and M.J. Van Deventer were hostesses for a brunch at JRB Art at the Elms. They invited friends, artists and writers to drop in after the Prix de West festivities at the National Cowboy and Western Heritage Museum.
Large bouquets of sunflowers decorated the gallery and the food table. Chicken salad on croissants, egg and rice casserole, fruits, sausages and bacon, chocolate bundt cake, cookies, and Van Deventer’s famous rum cake were among the food items that were served.
Among the guests were Lou Kerr, Jennifer and Drew Duggan, William Kalwick jr., Doug Wade, Shirley Thomas-Smith, Doug Hyde, Maureen and Randal Dutra, Ross Matteson, Beverly and Vic Lyster, Brenda and Tony Eubanks, Betty and Herschal Crow, Dana and Randall Shadid, Robin and Brad Krieger, Donna Hopper, Russell Swartz, Dr. Kathleen Moore, Shari Morrison and Joan Gilmore and Al McLaughlin.
Joy Reed Belt welcomes Lou Kerr to the party.
Carolyn Stuart and Betty Crow talk at the event.
Hostesses Joy Reed Belt and M.J. Van Deventer pose in front of one of the paintings displayed at the JRB Arts at the Elms Gallery.
Drew and Jennifer Dugan enjoy the brunch.
Party Galaxy has July 4th party supplies
Marty Dillon and Mark Wilmes talk on Parties Extra! about party decor.
Karen and Fred Hall entertain at Beaux Arts Ball King’s party at the Oklahoma City Golf and Country Club
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Fred Hall and his wife, Karen, were hosts for the Beaux Arts Ball King’s party. (Photos by Helen Ford Wallace).
The Beaux Arts Ball’s king’s party was held at the Oklahoma City Golf and Country Club.
Karen and Fred Hall were hosts for the “King’s Ball.” Fred Hall was the 2009 Beaux Arts Ball King.
The Country Club was transformed into a New York supper club with lighted vases filled with white feather plumes on all the tables. Cocktail tables and bistro tables held lamps with beaded shades surrounded with roses and votive candles.
The tables set in Harry’s Bar were filled with shrimp and grits, Cajun shrimp, salmon, sushi and caviar. There was a large table filled beef tenderloin, chicken tenders, macaroni and cheese, fried okra and Caesar salad in the ballroom and a dessert table with cupcakes and an ice cream bar. Outside there was a tent and the menu included hamburger sliders, corn dogs, grilled cheese sandwiches and French fries.
Two orchestras played during the evening: Sharon Jones and The Dap-Kings and the late night band was Mitch Bell and Powerhouz.
Cigarette girls held trays of cigarettes, cigars and candy and nuts for the guests
Among the 400 guests were Christy and Jim Everest, Connell and Cliff Branan, Bebe and Bruce MacKellar, Tricia Everest, Libby and Morton Payne, Susan and Mike McPherson, Linda and Ron James, DeAnn and Lee Alan Smith, Gennie and Bob Johnson, Candy Dulaney, Sharon and John Bozalis, Lindsay Hightower, Millie and Johnson Hightower, Libby and David Denner, Margo and Harper Ward, Shirley and Pete Everest and Kim and Michael Joseph.
“Summer cocktail attire” was suggested on the invitation and that included everything from white dinner jackets to men in suits, sport coats, with ties, without ties, open shirts and women in strapless dresses, beaded cocktail outfits and evening slacks and tops. Fred Hall wore his King’s medallion around his neck during the party.
Guests received party favors as they were leaving the party…more great music….a compact disc of Sharon Jones and The Dap-Kings “I Learned The Hard Way.”
Tricia Everest and Bebe MacKellar were at the party. MacKellar is chairman for this year’s Beaux Arts Ball and Everest is co-chairman.
Trays of candy, nuts, cigars and cigarettes were offered to the guests.
Sharon Bozalis and Candy Dulaney enjoy the party.
Table decorations included lighted vases filled with plumes.
Ssm Dahr, Jennifer Klos and Lindsay Hightower were at the King’s Ball.
Bob Johnson’s colorful fishing lures and flies catch big fish in British Columbia, Canada!
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Remember the story last July about Bob Johnson and his fishing flies? Check out these steelhead fish he caught in British Columbia, Canada, using those flies he created. Click here for the original story:http://tinyurl.com/2a43qbk
(Photos provided).
Academic Awards Banquet held in Tulsa
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David and Rosalee McCullough, Molly Shi Boren, David L. Boren were at the Awards Banquet. (Photo provided).
The 24th annual Academic Awards Banquet was held in Tulsa at the Renaissance Tulsa Hotel and Convention Center. Five Oklahoma educators and 100 top public high school seniors were honored by the Oklahoma Foundation for Excellence.
Author and historian David McCullough was the featured speaker. University of Oklahoma President David L. Boren, founder and chairman of the OFE, was master of ceremonies.
Diane Reece, Randy M Baker, Audrey Schmitz, David Sabatini and Terry E. Davidson were presented the Oklahoma Medal for Excellence Awards in Teaching. They received a cash prize and a glass sculpture. The 100 academic winners received scholarships and bronze medallions. The academic All-State class comes from 75 schools in 68 Oklahoma school districts. 1000 people attended the event.
Facebook? Should she have announced our wedding? 20-40-60 answers
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YOU ASK! WE ANSWER! YOU DECIDE!
Question: What should I do? My best friend announced on her Facebook page that my boy friend and I were getting married and all of the engagement and wedding details.
Fortunately we had told our family members, but it was our news to tell and we were not happy.
How much should people share other people’s news on Facebook or Twitter? What should I have done when she shared our news with the world?
Callie’s answer: Well, that is your news to share! Although, you could think of it as so sweet that your best friend is just as excited as you guys are!
There is not anything you can really do! You can at least post it on your Facebook page and twitter! This is an exciting time! DO NOT let that one incident get you down!
Lillie-Beth’s answer: This is going to keep happening as we spend more time socializing online. Before, your friend might have told your exciting news to someone at a party, and the word would have spread much more slowly, in time to catch up to your own sharing of the engagement news.
Now, all it takes is one post on Facebook, and the news is spread instantly.
So this calls for some new etiquette rules and extra sensitivity. First, don’t get too offended by your friend’s excitement; it’s not worth losing a friend who’s truly happy for you. However, your friend, out of courtesy to you, should have first weighed whose news it was she was sharing before she announced it to the world; that’s something we should all keep in mind before posting others’ information. I think it’s OK to ask her to remove the post, and then ask her to be careful about making public announcements about you the next time.
Once you told someone something, it’s out there, both online and off, so don’t start telling anything until you’re ready for people to hear it Good news spreads as fast as any news. Congratulations!
Helen’s answer: It is so wonderful that you all are getting married and hopefully you can tell your own story about it on your Facebook Pages and Twitter. Your friend was not thinking when she shared your news with the world, but it is a good lesson for all of us… if you don’t want something told, don’t tell it (until you are ready.)
Facebook page friends consider themselves to be connected with the people they share information and most people on your pages would not consider it wrong to tell. It is kind of like the corner barbershop or coffee shop in the early days where people gathered and discussed the neighborhood news. It was always fun to be the first to know.
Yvette Walker’s answer: Ah, the ins and outs of social media etiquette. You are right; it was your news to tell. But how did you tell this friend? If you told her through Facebook messaging, then she might have thought it was public knowledge.
I use Facebook or Twitter messaging even more then e-mail because I’m sure to get the “right” e-mail address for my friends who tend to move around a lot.
Your friend probably was so overjoyed, her happiness for you and your fiancé spilled out onto her Facebook page.
Because there are so many ways of communication these days, we have to be even more careful to let the people we communicate with know the intent of our communiqué. Don’t want your info splashed everywhere? Say so. Sorry, it’s a sign of the times.
BTW, congrats on ur wedds. That means: By the way, congratulations on your impending nuptials! — in social media speak.
Callie Gordon, a college sophomore, was a 2009 debutante and has been in many new social situations recently. Lillie-Beth Brinkman is a former debutante and currently the assistant features editor for The Oklahoman. Helen Wallace has written a social column for The Oklahoman for many years and has been on various local Ball committees. Yvette Walker is OPUBCO’s Director of Presentation, Features and Custom Publishing.
This group does not always agree (via age differences), but they ALL see the need for proper behavior.
Ask a specific etiquette question and you will get three answers…Then you decide for yourself how you would handle the situation. The answers have information for every age range….Callie is 20-ish; Lillie-Beth is 40-something, and Helen is 60-plus.
Please email us with your questions and follow us on Facebook, Twitter and daily blogs. We will try to answer your etiquette questions weekly on the Parties Extra! blog. Sometimes we will ask other people for their opinions.
Look for us!
helen.wallace@cox.net…lbrinkman@opubco.com… calliezok3@aol.com
Artspace at Untitled Gallery to have “Mixology” party and other summer activities
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Lindsay Hightower and Autumn Daves talk about Artspace at Untitled Gallery’s summer events on Parties Extra!
Couple marries in Norman, Oklahoma
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Carrie and Mark Floyd. (Photos by Helen Ford Wallace).
Carrie Lawler and Mark Floyd were married in Norman June 18th at Saint Joseph’s Catholic Church.
The reception was at the University of Oklahoma Memorial Union in the Molly Shi Boren Ballroom where beautiful flowers decorated the tables and guests enjoyed dinner and dancing.
The bride’s cake was topped with her new initial “F.”
The bride’s cake.
Frances Sanger and Lois Brown, mother of the bride, talk during the reception.
First dance at the reception.
Beautiful flowers.
“Christmas in June” shower honors bride-to-be in Oklahoma City
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Barbara Simons, Lori Hill, Eve Patterson, Barbara Nichols and Priscilla McMillen were among the hostesses for the party. Photos provided.
A “ Christmas in June” shower honored Brenna Wells. It was in the home of Barbara Simons. Co-hostesses were Lori Hill, Priscilla McMillen, Barbara Nichols and Eve Patterson.
Among the food items were red and green frosted cookies with the couple’s names on them, fruit and cheese and tea sandwiches served on Spode Christmas plates.
A large Michael Aram blue glass tray was the gift from the hostesses.
Among the guests were Beth Wells, Marsha See, Sara See, Gennie Johnson, Sara Northwood, Barbara Batchelor, Leslie Samara, Laurie Givens, Whitney Jones.
Brenna and Ross See will be married in September in Vail, Colo.
Marjorie Wetwiska and son Jack, Jordan Kelley, Brenna Wells, Kacky Shelly were at the party.
Betsy Thorpe, Susan Hoffman, Marilyn Balyeat enjoy the party.
