How about clopping high heels? 20-40-60 answers
YOU ASK…WE ANSWER…YOU DECIDE
Question: Dear 20-40-60,
I have noticed lately that more and more young ladies are wearing high, high heels which are attractive footwear; however, when they are walking (even on carpeted floors) it sounds like horses galloping through the office. Is there a proper way to wear high heels without creating a clopping noise?
A fan of your column
Callie’s answer: I LOVE my high high heels! What girl doesn’t love a pair of heels?
If you can’t walk in them though, DONT BUY THEM! Use the heel, toe combination when walking. Don’t just stomp around, step on your heel first, then your toe. That sound always has a nice ring to it, “The clacker” heard in the “Devil wears Prada.”
Lillie-Beth’s answer: I think I clomp in certain heels of mine, too, and didn’t realize that it might bother people. I’d like to hear from additional readers — how big a problem is this? In doing some research, it appears that some people like the sound a heel makes and others don’t, but there are tips to keep from clomping when you walk. Here are a few, although the list isn’t comprehensive:
1) Be mindful of your steps and adjust accordingly.
2) Don’t step flat-footed by slapping your foot down onto the floor. Step heel or toe first (opinions vary on which one is quieter).
3) Stay off of hard surfaces like wood floors when possible.
Usually women don’t buy shoes with the noise level in mind — we’re looking for style, fit and comfort. The noisy part comes later, away from the carpeted shoe store, when we actually have to wear them.
Helen’s answer: The pretty new spring shoes are very, very high heeled. Many of them also feature a platform or wedge heel and it may be hard to walk in them. If you do make loud noises when you walk, maybe you should avoid buying that style.
Women, and men, should try on shoes and walk in them around the store. I think you can tell if they make noise on the floor. Also, if the shoes do not fit you properly, they will make clopping noises. Even sandals can make a loud noise if they do not fit properly.
Hilarie Blaney’s answer: I am a shoe lover.
Most shoe purchases are made from a carpeted area and coupled with sauntering, not walking at a normal pace. I have shoes that clop on the marble floor in First National Center, never something I would have anticipated. Therefore, it all goes back to being AWARE of your actions and their impact upon others.
Really, being less self-absorbed is a component of good manners. Ask yourself, “are people comfortable around me?”
(Callie Gordon, a college sophomore, was a 2009 debutante and has been in many new social situations recently. Lillie-Beth Brinkman is a former debutante and currently the assistant features editor for The Oklahoman. Helen Wallace has written a social column for The Oklahoman for many years and has been on various local Ball committees. Hilarie Blaney is an Etiquette and International Protocol Consultant.
This group does not always agree (via age differences), but they ALL see the need for proper behavior.
Ask a specific etiquette question and you will get three answers…Then you decide for yourself how you would handle the situation. The answers have information for every age range….Callie is 20-ish; Lillie-Beth is 40-something, and Helen is 60-plus.
Please email us with your questions and follow us on Facebook, Twitter and daily blogs. We will try to answer your etiquette questions weekly on the Parties Extra! blog. Sometimes we will ask other people for their opinions.
Look for us!
helen.wallace@cox.net…lbrinkman@opubco.com… calliezok3@aol.com
OU President’s Trophies announced
Jake Elliott, Andrew Welty, Corbin Carter, Chris Frantze, David L. Boren, Amy Gibson were at the ceremony honoring Delta Upsilon members for winning the fraternity President’s Trophy. (Photos provided).
University of Oklahoma President David L. Boren gave the President’s Trophy to the outstanding sorority, fraternity, housing center and commuter students for excellence in academics, campus activities, volunteerism and multicultural participation.
Crimson Club members, an organization of OU student leaders, coordinated the competition.
Winners were: Cate Center, Housing; Delta Delta Delta, Sorority; Delta Upsilon, Fraternity, Samantha Ali and Niekia Franklin, commuter students. Presidents’ Trophy outstanding commuter student winners were given a trophy and $500., and the President’s Trophy first place organizational winners received a trophy and $5,000.
The competition was established by President Boren and Molly Shi Boren in 1995. Runner-ups were Sooner Housing Center, Pi Beta Phi, Lambda Chi Alpha.
David L. Boren, Lydia Sexton, Sheryl Fender, Matthew Walker and Amy Gibson celebrate the President’s Trophy Housing Winner.
Sorority Winner was Delta Delta Delta and Jake Elliott, Kayley McCoy, Sarah Graybill, David L. Boren, Morgan Wolber and Amy Gibson pose with the President’s Trophy.
Ashley Goodwin and Chandler Sims honored at wedding shower
Morgan Bardwell, Christine Powers, Barrett Havran, Ashley Goodwin, Chandler Sims enjoy the dinner and shower for Goodwin and Sims. (Photo by David Faytinger).
A miscellaneous shower and dinner honored Ashley Goodwin and Chandler Sims recently. The party was in the home of Jana and Lee Reynolds.
Hosts were the Reynolds, Shirley and Pete Everest, Burch Fryer, Courtney and Carl Holliday, Joanie and Blair Holmboe, Gayle Kearns, Sherrie and Jimmy Kite, Suzanne and Freddy Leggett, Penny Park, Lisa and Mark Pierce.
They cooked hamburger sliders for the 75 guests. They planned their party for the first day of spring with a picnic theme. The only trouble was on that particular day, there was a snowstorm, but they were able to cook outside on the grill anyway.
Lilacs, irises, daffodils, apple blossoms and orchids were in a seashell on the dining room table.
Can I wear a baseball cap to the dinner table? 20-40-60 answers
YOU ASK…WE ANSWER…YOU DECIDE
Question: Is it ok to wear baseball caps at the table or indoors? My husband is not happy when our teen-aged son wears his baseball cap all the time and he asks that it be taken off at the dinner table. My son is not happy when he has to take it off, but he does what his dad asks him to do.
How about women? Can they wear baseball caps indoors?
Callie’s answer: If your husband really does not like it that your son wears his baseball cap at the table, then don’t let him.
Although, is it really that big of a deal? Maybe, if you are going out to dinner then, yes, make him take it off. It is just a hat. If it is a house rule, then stick to your guns and don’t change your mind.
If this is the worse thing that your son is doing, pick your battles.
Women should only wear baseball caps to keep the sun out of their face. Other than that, they look sloppy.
Lillie-Beth’s answer: The longtime tradition that men should not wear hats at the table (indoors in general, really) still applies. I haven’t found anything to contradict an etiquette rule that is considered a sign of respect.
As for the rule applying to women, I am answering reluctantly, because if I’m wearing a hat, it’s usually because my hair looks terrible that day. I certainly don’t want to take it off and reveal the mess underneath. So I’d rather the old manners rule about hats at the dinner table not applying to women stay in place.
However, it’s 2010, and that guideline once applied to women who wore formal hats as part of their everyday outfits. Today, both men and women nowadays wear casual hats, and I don’t think women are exempt from taking them off indoors or even during the National Anthem, especially when their hats are as informal as a baseball cap.
“What is clearly a lady’s hat — something with flowers, veils or other such frivolity — may be worn inside, as well as outdoors (although never at home or after dark),” writes longtime etiquette columnist Miss Manners Judith Martin. “Unisex hats must be removed.”
Helen’s answer: Helen’s answer: Caps should be taken off when entering the house and when eating at the table. They should be removed at a church or restaurant.
I think that in a public place like the mall, the hat can stay on. Caps and/or hats should always be removed for the Pledge of Allegiance or the National Anthem.
When women’s hats are part of their outfits , they can be worn indoors. If they are large- brimmed hats, they should be removed if they are blocking the vision of the person behind them, particularly at a movie or in the theater.
Kate Stanton’s answer (Kate presents etiquette and gracious living seminars throughout the state) : As hats lost their role in day to day fashion for both genders, hat etiquette began to slide away as well. With that slide, our younger generations missed out on the treasured “tip your hat for a lady” honored tradition as well as learning hat etiquette. Thus, we leave such standards to parents – the intended first teachers of children.
Baseball caps are not appropriate at the dinner table or indoors for men. I’ve seen young men take off their cap leaving a bad hair day for all to see rather than insult the lady at the table or hear their mama scream.
Historically, women were not expected to take off their hats when indoors or dining which continues today. Within any etiquette question, one must consider the present environment and what is the issue behind the issue buried in the question.
Of course you are going to see more caps within a college community; such places remain student’s home and comfort zone. If a young man constantly wears a baseball cap to rid the extra three minutes needed to communicate a prepared look, I would work to add in those three minutes since a ‘baseball cap accepted day’ may not be around forever. I would welcome a world of parents removing hats and a cell phones from their young people at dinner and beyond.
Please remember such hats are removed for the National Anthem, always.
(Callie Gordon, a college sophomore, was a 2009 debutante and has been in many new social situations recently. Lillie-Beth Brinkman is a former debutante and currently the assistant features editor for The Oklahoman. Helen Wallace has written a social column for The Oklahoman for many years and has been on various local Ball committees. Kate Stanton is Director of David L. Boren Student Union at the Health Sciences Center.
This group does not always agree (via age differences), but they ALL see the need for proper behavior.
Ask a specific etiquette question and you will get three answers…Then you decide for yourself how you would handle the situation. The answers have information for every age range….Callie is 20-ish; Lillie-Beth is 40-something, and Helen is 60-plus.
Please email us with your questions and follow us on Facebook, Twitter and daily blogs. We will try to answer your etiquette questions weekly on the Parties Extra! blog. Sometimes we will ask other people for their opinions.
Look for us!
helen.wallace@cox.net…lbrinkman@opubco.com… calliezok3@aol.com
Spring tea given for senior girls by Panhellenic Association members
Liz Osborne, Sandy Brown, Stacy Schauvliege, Krista Bennitt were at the tea. (Photo by David Faytinger.)
Senior girls and their mothers, Panhellenic Association members and university representatives were at a Spring Tea given by the Greater Oklahoma City Panhellenic Association at All Souls Church. The annual event was so that prospective sorority members could learn about sorority recruitment at various universities.
Amy Edwards and Claudia Robertson gave a Power Point presentation about the various events during recruitment. Suzanne Bockus welcomed everyone.
Representatives from area universities were available to answer questions and give specific information about sorority life on their respective campuses.
A fashion show by Allyson’s Closet gave the women information about fashions for recruitment week.
March 12th Speaker’s Ball features cocktails, dessert, dancing, auction
“Souled Out” Band played for The Speaker’s Ball. (Photos provided).
The Speaker’s Ball “After Party” was March 12 at the Skirvin Hilton Hotel. House Speaker Chris Benge and his wife, Allison, were hosts and invited guests for cocktails, dessert and dancing to the music of “Souled Out.”
They called it the “Party After the Party That Never Happened.” The original Speaker’s Ball had been planned for January in the Centennial Building of the Oklahoma State Fairgrounds, but was snowed out.
There was a live auction to benefit the Regional Food Bank and the Community Food Bank of Oklahoma.
House Speaker Chris Benge welcomes guests to The Speaker’s Ball.
Gov. Brad Henry was at the party.
Congresswoman Mary Fallin enjoyed the event.
Junior ROTC cadets have Military Ball
Air Force Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps cadets from Choctaw sponsored the Military Ball and invited Crooked Oak, Carl Albert, Midwest City AFJROTC cadets and Del City Navy JROTC and guests. The event for 150 people was at Choctaw High School. Each cadet was announced and went through the receiving line. The colors were presented and National Anthem was sung.
Cadet/Lt. Col. Kristal Dill is group commander.
Closing reception set for Artspace at Untitled
A closing reception at Artspace at Untitled Gallery will be held for the very popular Function and Design exhibit. The party is March 26, from 5 until 8 p.m. The artists will be present and there will be live music before the exhibit closes the following day.
The Gallery is located at 1 NE 3rd.
Caribbean Fantasy theme planned for Youth Services for Oklahoma County event
Randi Green and Sally Bentley talk about Youth Services “Reach For The Stars.”
How do you feel about “cash bars?” 20-40-60 answers
YOU ASK…WE ANSWER…YOU DECIDE
Question: How do you feel about “cash bars” at a party? Recently, I went to a wedding where they served wine and beer to the wedding guests, but if I wanted something else, there was a “cash bar.” Also, at a recent fund-raising event where I had to buy a ticket, there was a “cash bar.” It seems like at a wedding the hosts should provide all of the drinks and at the fund-raising event the ticket should cover the cost of drinks?
Callie’s answer: Seriously! You’re complaining about having a cash bar at a fund raiser? Liquor is expensive!
As far as the wedding goes, you are there to celebrate the wedding, not get drunk.
Lillie-Beth’s answer: I think hosts can serve what they want to, but guests should know what to expect from the beginning. Alcohol is expensive, and if you don’t want to provide it to all the guests, then you don’t have to.
Plan your event accordingly: For a wedding reception on a weekend night in a reception hall with a band, people will probably expect alcohol, but they wouldn’t at a church.
However, there’s a difference between fundraisers and a wedding. Fundraisers should specify whether there’s going to be a cash bar, so people will understand what their admission ticket price includes, even if it’s only a single drink ticket.
A wedding is a party that the bride and groom (or parents) are throwing for guests. It doesn’t seem like a cash bar fits as well in that host type of situation; it’s almost better to leave the alcohol out of the equation entirely than surprise guests with a cash bar.
The combination approach of offering wine or beer to guests while having a cash bar to pay for liquor and mixed drinks seems like a reasonable compromise to keep costs down. Or, as one etiquette discussion that I read noted, if you serve a cash bar at your wedding, which may be OK in some etiquette circles, make sure your skin is thick enough to handle the complaints.
Helen’s answer: Sorry. For a wedding, a cash bar is never an acceptable money-saving solution. You would never ask guests to pay for cocktails or wine or beer in your own home and your wedding should reflect that courtesy.
For a fundraiser event, the party planners can make those decisions, but the information involving a cash bar should be spelled out on the invitation. Guests should know before they come what expenses there might be at the party, besides a tip for car parkers and coat checkers.
Beaux Arts Ball Chairman Bebe MacKellar’s answer: I think the main reason for cash bars is cost. Entertaining is expensive. If you want to have a wedding and have a budget it might be the simplest way to offset a cost. You are not asking people to make a donation to the party you are asking them to enjoy what you provide and if they want a drink they need to pay for it themselves. I think serving wine and beer is a nice gesture and people should not expect a full bar, if it is there- great- but not expected.
As wine has grown in popularity I find more and more events I attend pass wine and beer and do not offer hard liquor.
As far as parties that you have purchased a ticket for having a cash bar I think it is fine if it is stated on the invite. It is a great way to keep the price to attend the event down. I recently attended an event that had a cash bar because the organization wanted to keep the price down in order to increase participation. People bought drink tickets and seemed to have a great time.
I also think some people do not drink for religious reasons or are in recovery from addiction and do not want to serve alcohol or pay for it. Also, some might think liquor is stronger than beer and wine and people might get drunk. I do not think that is a good excuse as 12 ozs. beer, four ounces of wine or one ounce of liquor have roughly the same alcohol content.
In closing, don’t forget to put a little extra cash in your wallet if you are attending a party which might have a cash bar as credit cards may not always be accepted especially at a private club.
(Callie Gordon, a college sophomore, was a 2009 debutante and has been in many new social situations recently. Lillie-Beth Brinkman is a former debutante and currently the assistant features editor for The Oklahoman. Helen Wallace has written a social column for The Oklahoman for many years and has been on various local Ball committees.
This group does not always agree (via age differences), but they ALL see the need for proper behavior.
Ask a specific etiquette question and you will get three answers…Then you decide for yourself how you would handle the situation. The answers have information for every age range….Callie is 20-ish; Lillie-Beth is 40-something, and Helen is 60-plus.
Please email us with your questions and follow us on Facebook, Twitter and daily blogs. We will try to answer your etiquette questions weekly on the Parties Extra! blog. Sometimes we will ask other people for their opinions.
Look for us!
helen.wallace@cox.net…lbrinkman@opubco.com… calliezok3@aol.com
