20-40-60 Etiquette question and answers
Parties Extra!…20-40-60 Question…from a recent table conversation.
YOU ASK…WE ANSWER…YOU DECIDE
QUESTION: Is there a correct way to pass the salt? (and pepper)???
Callie’s Answer: Pass the salt and pepper TOGETHER! I was always taught they are married and they never want to be apart, so do them a favor and keep them paired! Also, before pouring salt all over your food (Dad), it is polite to try the food first.
Lillie-Beth’s Answer:
1) Pass the salt and pepper together, even if the person only asks for one. That keeps people from having to look for the orphaned shaker.
2) Don’t hand the shakers directly to another person. Set them on the table, and let that person pick them up.
But in doing some research, I learned there are more, some more accepted than others. I was unfamiliar with the last two listed here:
· After someone asks you to pass the salt, don’t use it first while it travels. Wait until it gets to that person, and then ask for it back.
· Taste your food first before you add any salt or pepper.
· Place the salt shaker to the right side of the pepper shaker, closer to the right hand, because most people are right-handed.
· Finally, one person I talked to had definite ideas about how to pass the two (left to right), receiving with the left hand and handing it off with the right.
Without getting to the separate, pressing question of whether you put the salt or pepper into the shaker with bigger holes, which of the above rules do you follow?
Helen’s Answer: Pass the salt and pepper together from left to right. Set them directly on the table instead of passing hand to hand. You might refrain from taking a shake of salt when it is enroute to someone else because that is considered terrible manners.
I was also taught that you should not reach over everyone at the table to snag the salt and pepper. Very politely ask, “do you care for the salt?”
Sorority manners class in the 1960’s dictated that the salt should never be passed alone.
Kathy Walbert Walker’s Answer: (She is former Nichols Hills Mayor, and current chairman of Nichols Hills Earth Day). Ask whoever has the salt, “Do you care for salt?” The answer could be a short thank you followed by your sprinkling salt on the roasted veal with wild mushrooms.
That person then passes the salt and pepper shakers or cellars in tandem by placing them to the right on the table. The next guest passes them on to the person who asked the question without engaging in their use along the way.
If the person who was nearest the salt and pepper doesn’t want any, he or she merely voices a “no thank you – would you?” and sends the salt and pepper on their way.
Our family prefers this practice in table manners etiquette, although, it is obviously not the only way of sharing at the table.
(Callie Gordon, a college sophomore, is a debutante this year and has been in many new social situations recently. Lillie-Beth Brinkman is a former debutante and currently the assistant features editor for The Oklahoman. Helen Wallace has written a social column for The Oklahoman for many years and has been on various local Ball committees.
This group does not always agree (via age differences), but they ALL see the need for proper behavior.)
Ask a specific etiquette question and you will get three answers…Then you decide for yourself how you would handle the situation. The answers have information for every age range….Callie is 20-ish; Lillie-Beth is 40-something, and Helen is 60-plus.
Please email us with your questions and be sure to follow us on Facebook, Twitter and daily blogs. We will try to answer your etiquette questions weekly on the Parties Extra! blog. Sometimes we will ask other people for their opinions.
Look for us!
helen.wallace@cox.net…lbrinkman@opubco.com… calliezok3@aol.com
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