20…40…60… Etiquette question #3
ETIQUETTE QUESTION #3 on Parties Extra! – This question came to us from….Twitter
YOU ASK—WE ANSWER—YOU DECIDE!
(Callie, a college sophomore, is a debutante this year and has been in many new social situations recently and Lillie-Beth is a former debutante and assistant features editor for The Oklahoman and Helen has written a social column for The Oklahoman for many years and has been on various local Ball committees.
This group does not always agree (via age differences), but they ALL see the need for proper behavior.)
Ask a specific etiquette question and you will get three answers…Then you decide for yourself how you would handle the situation. The answers give good information for every age range….Callie is 20-something; Lillie-Beth is 40-something, and Helen is 60-something.
Please email us with your questions and be sure to follow us on Facebook, Twitter and daily blogs. We will try to answer your etiquette questions every Wednesday on the Parties Extra! blog. Sometimes we will ask other people for their opinions. Look for us!
Helen’s answer: Ask to move away from the offender on the airplane. If that is not possible, try not to breathe.
Know your crowd, particularly at parties, during the flu season! If everyone is coughing, go home. We all love our hugs, especially in Oklahoma, but we probably should refrain from too much hugging and just give your friends the biggest smile ever! Handshakes? Hard to give up!
Lillie-Beth’s answer: Both parts of this raise hard questions. Whatever you do comes with a cost. Do you risk being impolite and offending someone, or do you protect your health no matter what? I’ve heard more than one person note that they did not enjoy a movie as much as they would have because someone was coughing loudly and deeply behind them; aside from being annoying, who knows what germs the hackers were spreading?
First of all, though, it seems to me that people are more understanding of standoffishness this flu season because swine flu is new and unknown. I’ve noticed people are almost grateful if you apologetically refuse to shake hands or give hugs because you’ve been sick; if they’re sick, it would be nice if they did the same.
On the plane, in an ideal world, there would be open seats where you could request a move or a place that she could sit away from the crowd. In my opinion, that seems like a reasonable solution to ask of a flight attendant. But if not, you’re stuck there, unfortunately, and apart from not breathing the entire time, all you can do is offer regards and politely ask her to make sure she covers her mouth if she’s not doing so already or offer her something to use for that purpose. And then, quickly get off the plane looking for the nearest GermX and bathroom to wash your hands immediately.
In this day and age, we should all give each other some grace while we try to balance avoiding getting sick with offering respect and sympathy for those who are.
Callie’s answer: Why wouldn’t you move away? That lady is not coughing up flowers! I am more bothered when individuals do not cover their mouth when coughing, sneezing, or yawning. It doesn’t matter if she does not have the “H1n1″ virus; she obviously has something that you don’t want!
There is no serious need to stop hugging or shaking hands.
To the germ-a-phobs: nothing is wrong with going for the “Howie Mandel pound.” Nowadays, more people pound then high- five. Try pounding and not shaking hands. Although, I always keep hand sanitizer with me!
Don’t kiss people you don’t know. So college girls and boys, if you do not know them, don’t take the chance of getting sick! Significant others are not included, as long as they aren’t sick.
helen.wallace@cox.net
lilliebeth@rocketmail.com
calliezok3@aol.com
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