Parties Extra!—House Party
Warren Edwards’ delightful house at 1440 NW 37th is 100 years old and he gave a party to celebrate. He invited neighbors, family members and friends to come by for lunch.
The house was built in 1911 for Charles West. He and Sophie West lived there from 1911-1928. Others who have lived there are Frances Fite Ambrister and Hubert Oklahoma Ambrister, 1928-1980, and Warren Edwards, 1980-to present.
At the party were Ronnie Claire Edwards, Caroline Waggoner, Dorothy and Jackson Woodward and children, Doe, Jack, Mae and Gray Woodward; Geoffrey Woodward and sons, Geoffrey and Will; Amanda and Ben Olszewski and children, Helen Elizabeth, Caroline and Mary Mills, Helen and Jack Woodward, Diana and Tom Tunnell, Nancy Grindstaff, Faith Mary and Randy Everest, Dee and Mike Sadler, Jeanne Hoffman Smith, Patricia Lester, Paul Odom and Charles Leider.
Warren Edwards and his nephew, Will Woodward,5, celebrate at the birthday party. (Photos by David Faytinger).
Louie Trost, Dick and Anne Workman and Janice and Lee Segell were at the event.
Ronnie Claire Edwards and Natalie Kopplin, Marilyn Smotherman enjoy the party.
Parties Extra!—deadCenter Film Festival and opening evening party
Lance McDaniel and Whitney Moss talk about deadCenter Film Festival on Parties Extra!
Reader asks: How about the dinner tab?—20-40-60 Etiquette
Do you have a question for 20-40-60? Email me at HWallace@opubco.com
YOU ASK! WE ANSWER! YOU DECIDE!
QUESTION: Last night my husband and I went to dinner with two other couples. The women had decided that would be fun to do, but we did not discuss how to pay the bill. When the waiter brought it to the table, it became very embarrassing since we did not know if we should split the bill (some ate more than others) or if everyone should pay for exactly what they ate and drank. We ended up splitting it three ways, but how should we have handled it?
CALLIE’S ANSWER: It would have been easier to tell the waitress that everyone was going to be separate before you ordered. Since you didn’t request this, the easiest way is to just split the bill. If someone offers to buy the whole dinner, you MUST reciprocate next dinner. It is rude to always let others get the bill. Dinner out is supposed to be a treat; fretting the little things ruins it.
LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: If you don’t mention to the waiter ahead of time that the bills will be separate, it’s easier, with less hassle, if all of you split the bill evenly, at the end. If you all know each other well and plan to do it again, the differences are minor and should eventually even out the more times you share meals.
However, if there’s a big discrepancy in what everyone ordered (usually that happens when some order alcohol and others don’t), it’s easy to look at the bill, estimate what you owe and add extra for the tax and tip and to cover any small mathematical errors. You can always say something like, “I had wine, so I will pay for mine and add about $12 more for that,” or, if you were the one who didn’t have alcohol, gracefully suggest, “why don’t we split the food part of the bill and everyone pay for their own alcohol?” Whether you estimate or split a bill, try not to get too caught up in a penny-by-penny breakdown — it’s more important to enjoy time with friends than to worry about a few dollars’ difference in either column on a single occasion.
HELEN’S ANSWER: At the end of a meal it is certainly tedious to list what everyone had and on what check it should go. Probably you did the right thing by splitting it three ways. Any one of you all could have asked for separate checks in the beginning and since no one did, you handled it right. Next time, everyone needs to be aware of the arrangements in advance. Either there are separate checks from the beginning, particularly if one couple orders drinks and the other one does not, or everyone agrees to split the check. One other option is that the couples take turns picking up the check.
GUEST’S ANSWER: Kathy Walker, local volunteer and community leader: I think that this depends on the understanding of all of the couples involved in the dinner. Do the couples know one another well? Is the restaurant expensive or inexpensive? Do some couples enjoy a bottle of wine and others do not? Personally I would suggest splitting the bill three ways if the couples know each other’s preferences and habits. However, I would obviously offer to pay more of the bill if I ordered the foie gras, lobster and Champagne and others did not! Common courtesy trumps habit!
Parties Extra!—Jim Vallion talks about summer flowers
Jim Vallion talks about summer flowers on Parties Extra!
Erin Moore and Blake Beeler honored at pre-nuptial party
Bud Beeler, Ann Sutherland, Erin Moore, Blake Beeler, Barbara Beeler, David Sutherland were at the party honoring Erin Moore and Blake Beeler. (Photo by David Faytinger).
Friends of Erin Moore and Blake Beeler gathered for cocktails and hors d’oeuvres at Harry’s Bar at the Oklahoma City Golf & Country Club to celebrate their upcoming wedding. They will be married in June in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
Hosts were Pam and Bill Shdeed, Susan and Peter Hoffman, Barbara Quillian, Marilyn and Bud Meade, Cindy and Dick Homsey, Marilyn and Bill Sullivan, Diana and Jeff Beeler, Marty and Robert Margo, Jayne and Don Henline, Patty and Ken Cohenour, Carole and Boots Hall, Sue and Gary Homsey, Kathy and John Griffin, Linda and Tom Klos, Susan Parker, Bette and Jim MacKellar and Janie and Jon Axton.
A huge bouquet of sunflowers, roses, Gerber daisies and delphiniums were set on the table where a variety of foods were served.
Among the people at the party were Barbara and Bud Beeler, Jim Vallion, Ann and David Sutherland, Lela and Mark Sullivan, Maggie Barrett, Lynn and Ron White, Jose Freede, Ann Alspaugh, Mandy and Jason Beeler, Lu Beard, Barbara Cooper, Nick Bentley, Trey Homsey, Drew Neville, Libby and Morton Payne and Betsy Hyde.
Rebel Robertson, Lu Beard, Ron White, Ann Alspaugh, Jim Vallion, Pam Shdeed enjoy the event at the Oklahoma City Golf and Country Club. (Photo by David Faytinger).
Ann Alspaugh and Dr. Ron White talk at the party. White had just learned that he had been named to the Oklahoma Hall of Fame. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
David Sutherland, Jim Vallion and Susan Parker talk at the event. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
Blake Beeler and Pam Shdeed, back; Erin Moore, Jose Freede and Maggie Barrett, seated, pose for pictures. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
Mandy and Jason Beeler, Barbara Beeler and Pam Shdeed enjoy the pre-nuptial event. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
Parties Extra!—20-40-60 Etiquette
Do you have an etiquette question for 20-40-60? Email us…hwallace@opubco.com
YOU ASK! WE ANSWER! YOU DECIDE!
By Callie Gordon, Lillie-Beth Brinkman, Helen Ford Wallace
QUESTION: I work for a local television station and sometimes appear on camera. At times, people elsewhere recognize me and always have a comment, such as “I saw you on TV” or “you are that person who talked about the fire last night.”
It is now a problem and takes all my time to stop and talk to strangers. What is my response to random people who stop me? Should I ignore them or say, “Thanks for watching; I don’t have time to talk about it now?”
CALLIE’S ANSWER: Price of being on TV, I’m afraid. I would say something along the lines of, “Yes, that’s me! Thanks for watching.” or “Keep watching.”
LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: Like it or not, you are now in the public eye and that’s going to happen. And keep in mind that any reaction you have to a person who recognizes you will reflect on your employer, good or bad. If you ignore the comments, people will associate their negative feelings with the TV station; if you are positive, good feelings are linked to your employer.
Yes, people impose on “celebrities,” even lesser ones (by their own admission) who only occasionally appear on TV. If fans are rude or pushy, I don’t think you can fight their imposition on your time with rudeness in return. From your question, it sounds like the people have good intentions and just want to acknowledge they saw you on TV.
Take it as a compliment and be as gracious as possible. Also, ask your co-workers who are on TV more frequently for ideas about how they balance the enthusiastic recognition from others with their own need for privacy.
HELEN’S ANSWER: It is always fun to recognize a television personality or someone with “star” power out in the public, and we all want to stop and have a chat with them. We think we know them well.
It is no wonder that when movie star Julia Roberts goes to the local grocery store in Taos, N.M., she covers her hair with a big scarf and wears large sunglasses and probably hopes that no one will recognize her. We have seen her there and have resisted the opportunity to try to talk to her.
But, locally, maybe you can give your fans a wave and a smile and a quick answer if you have time. They are just glad to see you. Enjoy your fame!
GUEST’S ANSWER: Yvette Walker, Director of Presentation and Custom Publishing for The Oklahoman and faculty member who holds the E.K. Gaylord Ethics Chair at the University of Central Oklahoma: Being recognized is part of your job and your life now, and to ignore people would be just rude. In fact, ignoring people can affect your livelihood. Would you want to watch and support someone who was rude to you?
You say that you only sometimes appear on camera, and that’s different from being on TV every night, where you might get used to the celebrity. When you are out, you might take some tips from actors: Wear casual clothing, wear a hat, visor or sunglasses and try to avoid venturing into crowds.
Just remember that people don’t mean to be insensitive to your need of privacy, so you shouldn’t be insensitive to their need to say hello. Just smile, and say, “thank you.”
Pi Phis and Kappas have joint meeting
Whitney Moss, Katie Treadwell, Anne Gray, Millonn Lilly were at the joint meeting. (Photo provided)
Members of the Pi Beta Phi and Kappa Kappa Gamma Alumnae met in the home of Casey Williams for a joint meeting. They brought children’s books for various community organizations as the two groups share a focus on literacy as a national philanthropy.
Hostesses were Williams, Susan Drake, Kathy Brown, Whitney Moss and Katie Treadwell, Kappa members. This is an annual event and the groups trade hostess duties.
There were Pi Phi arrow cookies and Kappa key cookies for the guests. Napkins and cups had the logo of “Monmouth Duo” since both groups were founded in Monmouth, Ill.
Parties Extra! Birthday party in OKC
Barbara Kerrick, D’Arline McCubbin and Pat Edwards were at the party. (Photo by David Faytinger).
A group of friends who have birthdays in April celebrated together with a party in the home of Marilyn Meade.
Hostesses were Meade, Pat Edwards, Barbara Kerrick, Shirley Kirschner, D’Arline McCubbin and Linda Rodgers. They wore necklaces stating “Another Year of Fabulous.”
The birthday cake was vanilla with lemon and strawberry layers and it was decorated with frosted flowers. Fresh flowers surrounded the cake.
At the party were Harolyn Enis, Polly Keenan, Lu Hoenig, Marty Margo, Pam Newby, Judy Savage, Seyan Hefner, Sue Simmons, Betty Replogle, Ann Fleming, Claire Thompson, Winnie Porterfield, Debbie McQueen, Linda Wegener and Thalia Eddleman.
20-40-60 Etiquette—How about those hostess gifts?
Got an etiquette question? Email us at helen.wallace@cox.net
YOU ASK! WE ANSWER! YOU DECIDE!
By Callie Gordon, Lillie-Beth Brinkman, Helen Ford Wallace
QUESTION: I have only lived in Oklahoma City for 10 years, but where I used to live, we didn’t take a “hostess gift” to every event. Here, the bride gives hostess gifts to people having a shower for her, and sometimes there are many hosts. People take hostess gifts when they go to someone’s house for dinner. If we are someone’s house guest, we need to take a hostess gift. It really has gotten expensive (and time consuming) to always be gifting. Is this a local rule? Am I terrible for questioning this? What should I do?
CALLIE’S ANSWER: Throwing parties is expensive and time consuming. Think of it like this: At least you didn’t have to throw the party, right?
Bring a bottle of wine, or send flowers before the event to say thank you for the invitation. A bride should give the hostess (or hostesses) something a little more creative.
LILLIE-BETH BRINKMAN: Hostess gifts are a thoughtful way to thank people for making the effort to entertain or have a shower for you. Perhaps it falls under the category of what we in Oklahoma consider Southern hospitality. I don’t know how the tradition started, but it’s not always expected or required. It doesn’t have to be expensive.
As a guide, think about the type of occasion. Is it being held in your honor? Then a gift is appropriate. Is it a large cocktail party? Use your discretion, but if you are good friends with the host, then you won’t go wrong bringing one. Is it a fundraising luncheon? Then, no, unless you run the organization for which the person is hosting the party. And so on. The 18th edition of “Emily Post’s Etiquette: Manners for a New World” has a good answer to your question about geography: “In some parts of the country, a hostess gift is considered obligatory, while in other places a gift is brought only on special occasions.” You, apparently, are witnessing more of the former.
HELEN’S ANSWER: Hostess gifts are certainly not required, and there are not rules that dictate that you should always come bearing a gift.
There are still some people who never even think about bringing gifts to events and parties, and that is OK. If you are invited to large party, I don’t think it is mandatory to bring something. Let your heart be your guide. If you know that someone has spent hours preparing a meal for you, it would be a nice gesture to take something. People do give gifts to wedding shower hosts because they are appreciative of their efforts. These gifts do not have to be expensive, particularly if there are several hosts.
If you do take something, be sure the host does not have to do something with it immediately. It is hard to greet guests while trying to find a vase for a bouquet of flowers. If you take a food item, make sure the host knows it is not be served with the meal, unless you have discussed this beforehand.
Local customs vary. If you see everyone else bringing a gift to a party and you don’t have one, you can drop one by later or write a wonderful thank-you note of appreciation.
GUEST’S ANSWER: Hilarie Blaney, etiquette and international protocol consultant: According to Emily Post’s 18th edition, hostess gifts are obligatory in some places but only for special occasions in others. Here is my rule and when I give a hostess gift: 1. If I am being honored at a wedding or baby shower. 2. As a formal dinner guest in someone’s home. 3. Weekend house guest. 4. Casual dinner in someone’s home where I am not a regular guest. 5. Holiday party guest in someone’s home.
The gifts should be cost appropriate, such as a nice bottle of wine, cocktail napkins and cheese knife, flowers or a homemade gift of a special item.
My view is that it is an honor to be invited or hosted; therefore, I reciprocate in some kind way by showing my appreciation through a gift and thank-you note.
Parties Extra! —Boys and Girls Club of Oklahoma City
Jane Sutter, Jill Greene and Linda Mares talk about The Boys and Girls Club on Parties Extra!
