Kathy Walker is 2012 Oklahoma Mother of the Year and Carrie Leonard is 2012 Young Mother of the Year
Connell Branan, National President of American Mothers Inc., welcomes Carrie Leonard and Shelly Soliz to her home. Leonard is the 2012 Young Mother of the Year. Soliz is president of the American Mothers of Oklahoma. (Photo by David Faytinger).
Cliff Branan, Kathy Walker and Stewart Meyers talk at the party. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
Connell Branan, American Mothers Inc., national president, was hostess for a party honoring Oklahoma’s 2012 Mother of the Year, Kathy Walker, and Oklahoma’s 2012 Young Mother of the Year, Carrie Leonard.
Also honored were Mothers of Achievement Connie Fox, Connie Jones and Mautra Jones.
At the party were Russ Walker, Cliff Branan, Marilyn Meade, Susan Dobson, Lela and Mark Sullivan, Miki and Jim Farris, Barbara and Ralph Thompson, Ryan Leonard, Irene Castilow, Shelly Soliz, Dorothy Hammert, Sandy and Stewart Meyers, Nancy and Tim Leonard, Polly Nichols, Carol Troy, Karen Browne, Cynda Ottaway, Katherine Buxton, Coe London, Jody and John Gooden, Stacy Kline, Pam Kanaly, Marilyn and Leonard Sullivan.
Lela Sullivan, Russ Walker and Shelly Soliz enjoy the event. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
Kathy Walker and her mother, Rosemary Scalpone, were at the party. Kathy is Oklahoma Mother of the Year. (Photo by Helen Ford Wallace).
20-40-60 Etiquette—Would you move that grocery cart…please
To ask the 20-40-60 team an etiquette question, email helen.wallace@cox.net.
By Callie Gordon, Lillie-Beth Brinkman, Helen Ford Wallace
QUESTION: I do the grocery shopping for my family. My concern is how best to deal with the people who clog the aisles. Most grocery stores have aisles wide enough for two shopping carts to pass as long as each person pulls his or her cart over to the side.
It is very common for people to stop to look at an item and leave the cart in the middle of the aisle, blocking anyone else from passing down that aisle. My nice guess is that they are simply not paying attention to anything other than what they’re looking for. My guess is that they are unaware that other people ALSO shop in the grocery store, and that they are so overwhelmingly important that any of the rest of us who happen to be in the store should be glad to step aside.
Well, I have managed to not say anything mean to them … yet.
What is the proper way for me to proceed?
1. Simply go around, using the next aisle, and then work my way back to the spot I wanted.
2. Say “pardon me, I would like to get to the coffee over there.”
3. Say “hard as it is to imagine, there are other people in the grocery store who want to use this aisle.”
4. Stand there and stare (glare) at them until they emerge from their reveries and get moving again.
5. Ask them to move their cart to the side.
6. Or something else.
So far, I just try to ignore it and go to another aisle and come back later and hope I don’t run into them again.
CALLIE’S ANSWER: While I see how this can be frustrating, give people the benefit of the doubt. It can be as simple as a smile and “excuse me.” We all have come in contact with tacky people. In this case, simply move out of their way.
LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: Wow! You’ve put a lot of thought and energy into this. I think the easiest thing to do is to excuse yourself and ask them nicely to move. That should snap anyone out of their reverie. It takes less energy on my part to assume that people are concentrating as hard on getting the right ingredients at the best price instead of deliberately and thoughtlessly pushing others aside.
HELEN’S ANSWER: Navigating the grocery takes a lot of patience. Fortunately, some grocery stores have wide aisles and you can get around these people, but, probably your best response is #2. It moves them out of the way of the item you are trying to get.
The people who leave the cart in the middle of the aisle in our grocery stores are everywhere. They irritate me, too. However, I have done it before when I was not thinking. You might suggest to the grocery store personnel that they put up a sign saying, “Slow carts on the right; do not park in the middle of the aisles; and be aware of other people in the store who are also trying to shop.”
GUEST’S ANSWER: Christina Nihira, local community volunteer and newspaper writer: The weekly grocery trip is often an onus. Unfortunately, we all need to eat.
Crowded store aisles tend to inflame an already adverse situation. There are some rules of the road. Cart etiquette is akin to driving a car. Caution and care are necessities to avoid those head-on collisions. When pushing down the aisles, stay to the middle and center. When you want an item, pull to the right and park the cart.
More importantly, however, is common courtesy. Although you may think manners come naturally, not everyone takes the time to practice them, especially when they are harried. Set yourself apart and use “please,” “thank you” and “pardon me.” Nice manners and a smile speak volumes about you.
Another option is altering the time you visit the store. Perhaps going during early morning or off-peak hours will help reduce congestion.
For some enjoyment and practical information, check out Carol Redinger’s “A Book of Grocery Store Etiquette: A Guide for the Consumer Based on Over 30 years of Observations and Aggravations.” The author has worked in the grocery industry in various positions and writes a fun, informative guide about how to best navigate through your shopping experience.
Happy shopping!
Maureen Heffernan discusses the Myriad Botanical Gardens on Parties Extra!
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Maureen Heffernan talks about the Myriad Botanical Gardens on Parties Extra!
YWCA committee members start work for Capital Campaign
Sandy Pantlik, Kathy Walker, Tricia Everest were at the event in the home of Lela Sullivan. (Photo by David Faytinger).
The YWCA Capital Campaign marketing committee members met in the home of Lela Sullivan. The campaign will officially kick off in the spring and several committees will work to raise money for a new shelter for battered women and children, to re-purpose the existing shelter, renovate the McFarland Facility and establish an endowment to support the facilities.
Lots of candy and Sprinkles Cupcakes are featured at party
The table at the Nelson home was filled with candy and Sprinkles Cupcakes. (Photos by Helen Ford Wallace).
Lynda Nelson was hostess for a party to honor Candace, Charles, Charlie, 4 ½, and Harry, 1, Nelson from Beverly Hills, Calif., who were in town visiting. It was Harry’s first trip to Oklahoma City to visit grandparents, Lynda and Chuck Nelson. Candace and Charles are founders of Sprinkles Cupcakes, the world’s first cupcake bakery, in Calif. and she is one of the judges of “Cupcake Wars,” Food Network’s reality-based cupcake competition show.
The invitation with a colorful lollipop on it stated in part: “Harry has his first year ‘Licked’ and he’s here visiting from Beverly Hills.”
Candy and cookies were everywhere. Garlands of peppermint candies, ribbons and greenery decorated the front door and the stairway inside. Bowls of tasty ribbon candies, peppermints, red hots, candy- coated pretzels, jelly beans, suckers, colorful bubble gum and of course, the very excellent Sprinkles Cupcakes filled the dining room table.
Among the guests were Fanny, Bolen, Bebe MacKellar, Karen Browne, Libby and Bobby Nelson, Betsy Thorpe, Lisa Banks, Bette MacKellar, Marilyn Balyeat, Patty Cohenour, Caroline Cohenour, Martha Bradshaw, SoRelle Fitzgerald, Toni Moses, Bolen MacKellar, Kay Brown, Ruth Gorkuscha, Charlotte Nelson, Robert Nelson, Rachel Bolen, Patricia Franklin, Gayle Ann Roberts, Leslie Samara, Judy Lehmbeck, Gene Barth, Sarah Geiger, Kathy Brown, Angela Payne Reynolds, Charlotte Gibbens and Christine Browne.
The Nelson family.
Caroline Cohenour and Patty Cohenour were at the party.
Oklahoma City Heart Ball set for Feb. 25th
Barb Grimes, Terri Bailey and Nellie Kelly talk about the Heart Ball and the American Heart Association on Parties Extra!
20-40-60 Etiquette….Aw…the soup spoon!
We would love to hear from you. To ask an etiquette question, email helen.wallace@cox.net.
QUESTION: There is confusion about “soup spoon etiquette.” It seems most people think the spoon always rests in the plate, especially after finishing. But others think if soup is served in a soup plate (rimmed wide, shallow bowl) that the spoon goes in it, not in the flat plate below the soup plate. What is a person to do?
CALLIE’S ANSWER: From what I was taught, you should never put it in the bowl. When you are finished, put the spoon on the plate under the bowl. Look around and see what others at the table are doing.
LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: I was always taught to take the spoon out of the bowl and leave it on the saucer or plate underneath it, that it was wrong to keep a spoon, standing upright, in any bowl. Upon thinking about this question more, I have realized I do that most of the time; however, if the bowl is shallow and wide-rimmed, I am in the habit of leaving the spoon in the bowl, to the side, almost like I would if it were a plate.
The etiquette gurus tending to Emily Post’s famous guide these days agree, as do others. If the bowl is shallow, leave the spoon in the bowl, says emilypost.com. If the bowl is deep or the soup is in a cup, take the spoon out and place it on the saucer.
If you are still wondering, and the soup bowl comes served on top of another plate, then I think you will be fine if you take the spoon out and put it on the plate underneath when you are through with it.
HELEN’S ANSWER: Usually a bowl of soup is served on plate or saucer. When that is provided, always put your spoon on that plate. Never leave it in the bowl or the cup. That applies to when you are finished and if you stop periodically eating the soup. If there is not a plate, then, obviously your spoon goes in the soup bowl.
GUEST’S ANSWER: Kate Stanton, etiquette consultant and executive director, University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center Student Affairs: In talking with one of my favorite ladies of treasured opinion, we both believe when soup is served in a small soup bowl, you rest the spoon on the plate beneath it between bites or when finished.
When you use a soup plate, though, you put the spoon on (or in) in the soup plate. A soup plate is normally large enough that you really don’t have much room to put it on the plate beneath. In checking a few etiquette books, the thoughts on this matter are all over the board. Happy winter and happy soup!
Oklahoma City Alumnae Panhellenic Association Women of the Year selected
Seventeen women will be honored at the Greater Oklahoma City Alumnae Panhellenic Association luncheon on April 4th at the Oklahoma City Golf and Country Club. They are the 2012 Women of the Year recipients and were chosen for individual scholarship, leadership and service qualities which Panhellenic women have promoted for years.
They are Krystal Leighanna Kohler, Alpha Chi Omega; Marcia Booker Walker, Alpha Delta Pi; Mary Chronister Pearson, Alpha Gamma Delta; Judith Lehmbeck, Alpha Phi; Lauren Anne Roberts, Alpha Xi Delta; Elaine Shelor Jackson, Chi Omega; Rhonda Williston, Delta Delta Delta; Jo Carol Cameron, Delta Gamma; Juanita Renner Brown, Delta Zeta; Kimberli Harding Brownlee, Gamma Phi Beta; Ann Holmes Caylor, Kappa Alpha Theta; Debbie Owen Gipson, Kappa Delt; Kay Musser, Kappa Kappa Gamma; A. J. Gay Griffin, Phi Mu; Bette MacKellar, Pi Beta Phi; Stephanie Anne Nicholson, Sigma Kappa, and Cheryl Melton, Zeta Tau Alpha.
The Oklahoma City Alumnae Panhellenic Association was established in 1935 and began the scholarship program in the 1960’s to promote higher education among young Oklahoma women. Last year, with proceeds from the luncheon, and help from businesses and individuals, the Panhellenic Foundation gave seventeen scholarships of $1500. each to metro area senior girls.
For reservations, mail $40. To the Greater Oklahoma City Alumnae Panhellenic Foundation, P.O. Box 720723, OKC, Ok. 73172. For information, contact Lisa Blackburn at LisaAPhi@gmail.com or call 405-590-1790. Proceeds will go for scholarships for women planning to attend an Oklahoma University and to further the Greek system in Oklahoma.
20-40-60 Etiquette- How do you hold a wine glass? Cup?
Any other etiquette questions out there? Email me at helen.wallace@cox.net
By Callie Gordon, Lillie-Beth Brinkman, Helen Ford Wallace
QUESTION: Is there a proper way to hold your wine glass? How about your coffee cup? I have seen people hold both of these drinking vessels in various ways, but I thought a wine glass should be held by the stem and a coffee cup by the handle?
CALLIE’S ANSWER: Champagne and white wine are usually served chilled; holding it by the stem will make sure that your body heat does not change the temperature. A red wine is just the same: Hold it by the stem. This can give you a chance to see the color and clarity. Coffee, yes, hold it by the handle. But really, it is coffee. Who cares? Drink up!
LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: I’ve seen people hold glasses in so many different ways that I had to look up the information in order to answer the question. After doing so, I now need to pour myself a glass of wine. Websites including fine wine sites as well as The Wall Street Journal and Real Simple Magazine note that wine glasses should be held by the stem, whether the wine is red or white, to keep your hand from warming it up, for white, or to keep the glass from getting cloudy with fingerprints. If there’s no stem, which to many wine drinkers is a faux pas, then drinkers should hold the glass in the middle, so hands don’t cover the liquid.
To me, holding a wine glass incorrectly doesn’t rank high on a list of etiquette breaches. I’d rather enjoy wine and company with friends however any of us hold our glasses and save our indignation for behavior that’s actually rude, selfish or hurtful to others.
As for coffee, I love the idea of drinking it but don’t like the taste, so I’ll leave mug handle-holding etiquette to other experts on this page. Cheers!
HELEN’S ANSWER: Wine glasses should be held by the stem and coffee cups are held with the index finger and thumb on the handle. Never is the index finger supposed to curl through the handle. Marilyn Torbett from Oklahoma City reminded me that we had etiquette classes at the sorority house and that we learned to hold a cup by holding with the thumb and index finger. She said, “Do NOT stick your finger through the handle. Among other Tri Delta manner tips during that time period (1960s and 1970s) were: ‘Do not be seen on campus with hair rolled up and do not walk with a cigarette in your hand.’”
GUEST’S ANSWER: Kathy Walker, local volunteer and community leader: This question has required some research. I have always known that one should always hold a white wine or champagne glass by the stem as to not warm the cool white or sparkling wine. However, apparently it is also only correct to hold a red wine as well by the stem so not to obscure the color and texture from one’s sight. In addition, thumbprints on the glass cause the wine to look cloudy and obscure a clear view of the wine.
The glass should be held much like a pencil at the base of the stem while one looks at the color of the wine. Swirling the wine for smelling the fragrance comes next and it is done with the same simulated grip of the pencil. After the swirling, taste the wine leaving it on the palate for a few seconds, swallow the wine, and then wait to analyze the wine. If one is holding a wine glass constructed without a stem, it should only be held with the thumb and index finger.
Coffee cups are a different matter. The saucer and cup are placed to the right of the place setting. The handle is held like a pencil with the index finger at the handle and the thumb resting on top with the third finger securing below the two when the cup is brought to the mouth and then returned to the saucer. If seated in a chair away from the table, the saucer remains in the lap resting on the four fingers of one hand and secured by the thumb while the cup is raised to the mouth with the other hand as mentioned above. If you are not drinking from the cup, lower it to the saucer.
However, what could be better than a warm coffee mug held with both hands on a cold winter morning?
Cristi Reiger talks about Junior League plans for 2012
Cristi Reiger talks about the Oklahoma City Junior League on Parties Extra!
