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on June 29, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Amber (front) and her half sister, Rachel.
My daughter turned 15 two weeks ago. She’s been in California visiting her grandparents all month but came home yesterday, finally.
I hear so many horror stories about teenagers — how disrespectful, disobedient and disengaged they are. But, a month without my Amber only made clear to me how great she really is. She is affectionate, inordinately intelligent, caring and responsible (mostly!). I am lucky.
I’m not patting myself on the back for a parenting job well-done. But somewhere along the way, she learned some valuable lessons that shaped her into the amazing person she is today. I’m afraid those lessons were not easy ones.
A friend recently told me how disappointed she was in herself for having let her electricity get turned off because her payment didn’t quite make it in time. It brought to mind all the times Amber and I spent in the dark. Or without hot water. Or without any water.
I was a young mother, only 21 when Amber was born. And her father and I split when she was only 2. So, for many years, I was single and living on a waitress’s wages ($2.13 an hour plus tips — don’t forget to tip your server!).
What a struggle. Amber had insurance through her dad’s plan but I did not. She didn’t get to participate in the activities that other kids did. Soccer, gymnastics, music lessons — all were too expensive and my schedule of waiting tables didn’t allow me the luxury of taking her to activities.
Some days, I wasn’t even sure where our dinner would come from.
I remember one windy day when all the money I had in the world, about $73 in small bills from tips, blew out of my hand and scattered forever down May Avenue. Amber remembers that, too, though she was only about 4. We both cried.
I wish I had known then what I know now about student loans and the fact that with a little effort, I could finish my degree and get a good job. Back then, it just seemed hopeless.
The point of this column? First, be grateful for what you do have. You may not be rich but if you have a loving family, you’re richer than many. Second, you’re not stuck in your current situation. There are ways to make your life better. Third, all teenagers are not bad. And fourth, all the money in the world can’t buy you a great parent-child relationship.
on June 23, 2009 at 12:51 pm
By Katie Leo
While recent studies show that pregnancy and childbirth positively alter the brain chemistry of mothers, could parenting have a similar impact on men?
The 2005 book “The Mommy Brain” documented research by Craig Kinsley and Kelly Lambert on female rats who were either pregnant or recent mothers, showing that motherhood sharpened their senses and increased their motivation and resilience. Susan Kuchinskas reports for Miller-McCune that this same team is now concentrating on fathers. Their research on mice, along with similar studies on monkeys and humans, suggests that fatherhood chemically alters men to make them better fathers.
“Loving a woman and fathering her children changes a man’s body and brain in ways that make him more canny and resourceful,” Kuchinskas writes, “while improving his ability to handle stress. At the same time, living with the woman he loves alters a man’s hormones and neurochemistry to make him a better mate.”
Examples in nature include: the California deer mouse, who stays around the home after mating to groom and look after his kids; the male marmoset, whose hormones cause him to gain weight along with his mate during pregnancy; and, the “highly monogamous” titi monkey, who mates for life and allows his offspring to cling to his body.
In humans, studies have found that married men have lower levels of the hormone testosterone, while new fathers exhibit higher levels of prolactin. Both of these conditions positively influence a father’s parenting skills by increasing his sympathy and motivation to help his offspring.
Interestingly, a study by the Wisconsin National Primate Research Center suggests that lower testosterone could actually be triggered by a newborn baby’s smell. Scientists at the center separated marmoset fathers from their families and then exposed them to scent from their babies’ genitals. Within 20 minutes, their testosterone levels dropped.
source: www.miller-mccune.com/
on June 10, 2009 at 3:32 pm
NEW YORK (AP) — If fashion is all about the next big thing, the nine designers nominated for emerging talent awards by the Council of Fashion Designers of America might be the names to know.
Michelle Obama already does: Two of those nominated — Jason Wu and Thakoon Panichgul — seem to be favorites of the first lady.
“Middle America doesn’t know most of them at this point, but the fashion industry has seen the talent,” says CFDA executive director Steven Kolb.
Winners, to be announced at a ceremony Monday at Lincoln Center, receive financial support from Swarovski Crystal. Hopefully, Kolb says, the winners for womenswear, menswear and accessory design will also get name recognition, floor space in stores and editorial credits.
Last year’s winners — Kate and Laura Mulleavy of Rodarte — are now nominated as the nation’s top womenswear designers. Previous winners include Anna Sui, Cynthia Rowley, Narciso Rodriguez, Proenza Schouler, Derek Lam and Rag & Bone.
“It gave us a sense of validation, of acceptance — it’s the greatest feeling, I have to admit,” says Laura Mulleavy. “The funny thing is, we lost for two years but we always came out of the situation benefiting somehow.”
The Swarovski Award nominees are:
Womenswear:
—ALEXANDER WANG
Alexander Wang’s “girl” — as he affectionately calls his muse — is a party girl.
That means part of his job is “researching” this girl’s lifestyle, says Wang, so don’t be surprised if U2 is blaring from his office computer or he’s hitting hotspots on the Lower East Side. “We’re building a brand. It’s not just about clothes and a product. It’s so competitive! We’re building a lifestyle and I have to give a peek into how this girl lives.”
The label Wang launched in 2005 while still attending Parsons The New School of Design is steadily expanding. There’s been a full womenswear collection since 2007 and come July there’ll be men’s. Wang, a 25-year-old California native, says he’s appreciative of the recognition he’s received. (His runway shows are hot tickets: Sarah Jessica Parker attended the last one.)
“I never imagined I’d be at this point in my career at this age. I thought I’d be an assistant designer somewhere or still figuring it out, but that is what makes it that much more exciting.”
—THAKOON PANICHGUL
Thakoon Panichgul is, at 34, a veteran of the CFDA’s emerging designer category — he was previously a nominee in 2006 and 2007. And while he has steadily gained buzz, it was first lady Michelle Obama, who wore a Thakoon dress at last year’s Democratic convention, who really ramped up his name recognition.
“It’s interesting what she’s done for fashion,” he says. “It’s amazing what one woman is capable of doing. With the right kind of person, she can raise the awareness of anything — if her interest was asparagus farming, she’d do incredible things to raise the profile of asparagus farming.”
Panichgul sees the importance of tapping into the emotions of the public at large to survive in the notoriously fickle fashion world. Thankfully, what women want is always changing, otherwise he might get bored.
Next up for this Thai-born, Nebraska-raised designer who studied business at Boston University is a satellite line called Addition. He’s not calling it a secondary label, instead, he explains, it’s “another creative outlet.”
—JASON WU
What a difference a year makes.
The ball started rolling for Jason Wu in 2008 when he won the Fashion Group International’s Rising Star award and named a finalist for the CFDA Vogue/Fashion Fund mentoring program. But on Jan. 20 2009, he became a household name: He designed Mrs. Obama’s white, one-shouldered inaugural gown.
And the berry-colored dress she wore on the cover of Vogue. And the sunny chartreuse-colored silk dress with a shawl collar she wore to step off the plane on her first overseas trip.
All this attention, Wu says, is helping with his primary mission — developing a larger, loyal clientele of customers. “I like to make everything count,” he says.
That leads him to thinking about expanding beyond women’s ready-to-wear. “I’m thinking of new categories, I’m trying to think of what hasn’t been done. … But it all has to make sense for me. I’m not in this just to make a quick buck. I hope I’m establishing a long career.”
Wu, 26, was born in Taiwan, but hopscotched the world, including Vancouver, Tokyo and Paris, before settling in New York — just days after Sept. 11, 2001 — to attend Parsons. His first collection debuted in 2006.
Menswear:
—ROBERT GELLER
As a fashion student, Robert Geller worked with the best of the best — Marc Jacobs — and those days as an intern keep him going now that he’s on his own in the menswear world.
“He (Jacobs) and that whole place is a huge inspiration for me because I got a chance to see the magic of fashion as well as the unglamorous side of fashion — the lugging around clothing and fabric around Midtown. I loved it all,” says Geller, 32.
After graduating from the Rhode Island School of Design and finishing training with Jacobs, Geller became part of the Cloak team that was a mini phenomenon in fashion-forward circles in the early 2000s. After that he started a small womenswear line called Harald, but when an investor approached him about an eponymous men’s line, Geller jumped at the chance. “Menswear is my first love.”
He envisions a consumer much like himself: “You have to have an interest in fashion to wear it, but not be a `fashionista.’ It’s an approachable guy.”
—TIM HAMILTON
Even though Tim Hamilton has made his mark in menswear, he largely credits his late Lebanese mother with helping to shape his aesthetic. With his American-English father, she exposed him to art and design from a young age — in an unlikely place. Hamilton, 37, was born and raised in Iowa.
Beyond the nuts and bolts of garment design, Hamilton, essentially a self-taught designer, says he’s interested in what clothes and style have to say as statements. “I’ve always been fascinated with the exterior presence of fashion and how it affects people.”
Hamilton’s label is three years old, and he’s been nominated as a CFDA emerging talent three times. The recognition has helped him reach a wider audience, he says. He also just added a women’s line to his three-year-old brand.
His career highlight so far? “The latest is being the only American being invited to show in Paris for menswear week and also being able to keep living and working my vision.”
—PATRIK ERVELL
With a background in political science and art history from the University of California at Berkeley, Patrick Ervell, who spent his childhood in the Bay Area and Sweden, says he approaches fashion from a different angle.
He envisions a new look in American men’s sportswear, one that’s more modern than the Americana epitomized by a more traditional designer like Ralph Lauren. His own personal uniform is “Levis and a T-shirt.”
“I think I have a specific point of view and it’s my goal now more than ever,” he says. “My long term goal is to be known for a certain thing, but in the short term, I have to sell clothes.”
He started selling clothes in 2006 and has four runway shows under his belt. The new fall collection relied heavily on outerwear, with a lot of shrunken classic silhouettes.
Classmates at Berkeley included the Rodarte sisters, Kate and Laura Mulleavy, with whom he studied for midterms. He learned from them to be patient when it comes to the CFDA award.
“Rodarte was nominated 4 times,” he says. “I’m not expecting to win, you have to wait your turn.”
Accessories:
—ALEJANDRO INGELMO
Shoemaking was in Alejandro Ingelmo’s blood, even if he didn’t always feel destined for it. When he started his collection three years ago, he became the fourth generation to join the family trade despite starting Parsons to go into clothing design.
One class on shoes made the difference, he says. “It came very naturally and I picked it up quickly.”
He interned in the shoe division of Donna Karan and then, three years ago, used the rest of his money intended for school to begin his own collection.
His mother wasn’t thoroughly convinced, pledging allegiance to Manolo Blahnik until Ingelmo received a write-up in Vogue and an order from Bergdorf Goodman, he says with a laugh.
Ingelmo describes his signature look as having the sexy allure of his Cuban roots mixed with the edginess of the New York streets. Just weeks ago, Ingelmo saw a paparazzi shot of Beyonce wearing his Thriller shoe.
“My family is proud of me. I left for New York without my parents’ approval, so it’s a good feeling when I accomplished something,” says the 35-year-old Ingelmo.
—ALBERTUS SWANEPOEL
Milliner Albertus Swanepoel is certainly an emerging talent, getting his big break doing turbans and then cloches in 2005 and 2007, respectively, for Proenza Schouler, and then making the much-buzzed-about feathered fedoras for Carolina Herrera last year.
The new kid on the block, however, Swanepoel is not.
At 50, he has been working in New York’s fashion industry for 20 years. “I’ve had to work three other jobs at the same time most of that time,” he says. “I’m really a blip on the fashion scene.”
That’s no longer the case, with major retailers now carrying his hats.
He fell into it by chance, arriving from South Africa at first with hopes of working with garments, but he got a job at a company that made gloves. That was pretty much a winter-only business, Swanepoel explains, so he was interested in a summer income. He was fond of hats, but had to learn exactly how to make them.
“I love that they’re sculptural and very small, and that there are certain restrictions of what one will wear on their head. Hats are a very personal object.”
—JUSTIN GIUNTA
The company now known as Subversive Jewelry has been “an organic progression” of designer Justin Giunta’s artistic pursuits.
A Pittsburgh native, Giunta studied at Pratt Institute and the Gerrit Reitveld Academie in Amsterdam before getting a bachelor’s degree from Carnegie Mellon University and then a fellowship from Yale. He thought maybe he’d be a sculptor.
“I wanted to make a living off of what I can make with my own hands,” says Giunta, now 30.
He challenged himself to make jewelry charms. Starting in 2003, he brought his 12-piece collection around Manhattan on foam core boards and got turned down more often than not. But, he says, a few stores took his charms and Subversive was born. “‘Wearable sculpture’ is how I approach each piece.”
Giunta was not a jewelry-wearer until he started making his own, but now he’s an avid collector of coin bracelets from around the world. He also dabbles in clothing — celebrities such as Sting and Usher have worn his T-shirts — but isn’t sure that fashion is his career forever.
“I will do many things in life. The downturn in the economy has made it hard to justify pitching luxury jewelry to every customer like I could a year ago,” he explains. “Now I’m strategizing.”
on June 9, 2009 at 9:54 am
Do you believe in instilling good old-fashioned values, discipline and boundaries in your children? Can you give two British teenagers the chance to have some much-needed structure in their lives?
Following the huge success of the first series of ”The World’s Strictest Parents,” the BBC are looking for role model families to take part in a second series of factual entertainment programs on parenting. In each one-hour program, two British teenagers will be sent to live with a family abroad, to experience life in their country under their rules. In the last series, the BBC sent overindulged teenagers from the UK to live with families over the world, from Jamaica to India, Alabama to South Africa.
In this series, the BBC wants to send two British teenagers to Oklahoma.
The show is looking for a traditional, conservative Oklahoma family (with children aged 14-16) who are proud of their strong parenting and family values and who would be willing to accommodate two British teenagers for one week in July 2009 and instill in them the values and morality they demand of their own children. The British teens will be expected to attend school, church, complete homework and help with household chores; they will not be guests in the house but new members of the family.
Twenty Twenty Television is one of the UK’s leading independent production companies with a reputation for producing intelligent and award-winning programmes. www.twentytwenty.tv
If you are proud of your strong parenting and family values, email a brief description of your family and all your contact information to sarahrubin@twentytwenty.tv or call Sarah on 011 44 207 284 2020 and she will call you back.
on June 1, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Each week, viewers tune in to ABC’s “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” to watch Ty Pennington and his crew change the lives of deserving families all over America. Do you know a family that deserves the boost an extreme makeover could bring? The show is in search of true heroes from Oklahoma — people who have amazing strength of character and who put their own needs aside to help others. Whether it’s a mom, a soldier, a teacher or a fireman, the show seeks heroes who inspire those around them.
To be eligible, the family must own their own single family home and be able to show producers how a makeover will make a huge difference in their lives. If you wish to nominate your own family or another family, e-mail a short description of the family and it’s needs to castingoklahoma@gmail.com. Nominations must include the names and ages of each member of the household, a description of the major challenges within the home, an explanation of why this family is deserving, heroic or a positive role model in their community. Also include photos of the amily and a photo of the home, the address and contact phone number for the family.
The deadline for nominations is June 9. For more information, go online to http://abc.go.com/primetime/xtremehome/index?pn=apply.
on June 1, 2009 at 10:57 am
Tweet me. No, I’m not cursing at you, I’m encouraging you to log on to www.twitter.com and add “OkHeather” to the list of people you’re following. Then, send out 140 character messages about what you’re doing, where you’re eating, what you’re interested in or what’s going on in your business.
While you’re at it, snap a pic and post it as a “twitpic” along with your tweet.
Twitter is all the rage these days. Oprah, Ellen, Ashton, Demi, Shaq, you name it, everyone’s doing it. You can follow “Newsok” and “Tulsaworld” for the latest news stories, your friends for the latest gossip and celebrities who compete for the most followers.
I’ve found great story leads, met some really interesting people and even gotten coupon codes for free movie rentals on Twitter.
Recently, I heard about Stephanie Sullivan and Greg Rewis (“stefsull” and “garazi”). Greg actually proposed to Stephanie on Twitter.
Their Twitterposal even made it to The Oprah Winfrey Show.
The two had been carrying on a long distance relationship. Both self-proclaimed “computer geeks,” the couple stayed in touch via instant messaging, Skype, Twitter and old-fashioned text messaging.
“It’s the geek marquis. It’s the geek times square. I thought it was the most romantic thing ever,” Stephanie said about the Twitterposal.
Greg describes Twitter as “the ability to carry around your closest friends with you throughout your entire day.”
I have yet to take my tweeting to that level but today, while checking my tweets on Twitter, I noticed that two of my “followers” have voted for me as a “Hot Tweeter.” So, whoever you are, thanks! But, no Twitterposals, please. I’m a married woman.
