Advice to Sandra Bullock: Date A Nerd
Sandra Bullock at the Academy Awards.
Here at Nerdage, we don’t often comment on celebrity gossip, but the following column from Tony Panaccio fit in with our title theme of “Nerdage,” so, read on for some romantic advice to recent Oscar winning actress Sandra Bullock.
Advice to Sandra Bullock: Date a Nerd
By Tony Panaccio
First of all, can anyone say they were that darn surprised?
Sandra Bullock, America’s sweetheart, Oscar© winner, Razzie winner and still the best darn bus driver that the movies has ever seen (anyone remember Speed?) marries a biker. Who makes Bikes. In a bike shop. Stars in a TV show with other bikers making bikes for rich bikers. Is named Jesse James, one of history’s most notorious outlaws. This guy was the poster child for bad boys. OF COURSE he was going to cheat on her. His cheating on her was better odds than Bill Clinton having a heart attack on intern orientation day.
And Sandra, come on. Did you REALLY think the biker bad boy with the outlaw name was going to stay home, read comic books, play video games and eat French Bread Pizzas for months at a time while you were filming movies? That’s like expecting Donald Trump to forego the combover and shave his head (which might not be a bad look for him, really… okay, not so much).
But don’t feel bad. You’re not alone. Smart, beautiful, successful women from all over the world love the bad boys, and invariably wind up getting screwed over by them. I’m sure there’s a Facebook group for them. I think they made T-shirts. But the truth is, you have GOT to break the cycle. It’s time for you, and frankly all the other successful women nursing shattered dignity and wounded pride at the hands of a rock star or reality TV star, to see the light and change your life for the better.
It’s time for you to date a nerd.
Nerds, by and large, are rich, stable, loving and would be so knocked out to date a smart, beautiful, successful hottie, that they’d be utterly and irrevocably devoted to you. They’d cook, clean and do laundry for you. They’re good with electronics and computers, so you’d never have to worry about your computer crashing. Chances are they’d hack you free Internet service, anyway.
They’d pledge their lives, bank accounts and comic book collections to you. And the fact is, many of them aren’t just rich, they’re famous. Renown and unrepentant comic book and video game geeks include Keanu Reeves (Remember him? Tall guy, had the sense not to be in Speed 2?), Will Smith, Samuel L. Jackson, Mark Hamill, Star Trek director J.J. Abrams, Jon Favreau, Saturday Night Live’s Bill Hader, Jerry Seinfeld and Nicolas Cage (who sold his comic book collection to satisfy Lisa Marie Presley when he was married to her!).
Now, you may have to put up with a pantry full of Twinkies and Doritos, comic books on the floor, and every so often in bed they might cry out “It’s Clobberin’ Time!” or “Flame on!” or “Excelsior!”
I figure it’s a small price to pay for a guy who isn’t going to cheat on you with the nearest tattooed circus freak the second you go off to win an Oscar.
(Tony Panaccio, Senior Campaign Strategist for EMSI Public Relations, is a 25-year veteran writer, marketer and producer in the entertainment industry, having worked with luminaries such as William Shatner, Stan Lee and Michael Uslan. He has been a journalist and a senior executive with several of the world’s largest PR firms.)
Send me your Halloween costume pictures!
Dressing as a comics, video game or otherwise Nerdage-related character for Halloween? Send me your photos at mprice AT opubco.com, and I’ll feature some of the best ones on the blog! Include your name, age and address.
- Matt Price
Star Trek rap
Check out the improvised “Star Trek” rap by the Twinprov rappers, Buck and Clint Vrazel. This is precisely the sort of nerdity I like to point out with the Nerdage blog. Add to this that the “Star Trek” rap was inspired by NewsOK’s own BAM, and it’s something I have to give a plug.
Find out more here.
- Matt Price
Follow Nerdage on Twitter
If you’re a Twitter user and want to keep up with Nerdage there, as well, you can follow at www.twitter.com/nerdage.
Happy Matt’s birthday and Groundhog Day!
I’m out trying to avoid my shadow today, so more posts tomorrow. Thanks to everyone who has sent birthday wishes! Enjoy your Groundhog Day, and if you wake up tomorrow to “I’ve Got You, Babe,” be as nice to Andie MacDowell as you can.
– Matt Price
Too cold…
I have some things I want to share with my much-appreciated Nerdage readers, but the ice storm has put a damper on several possible posts that I’ve been working on. I’ll still try to come up with some interesting things to share tomorrow, as I’m sure lots of folks will be stuck in their houses then.
Be safe everybody!
– Matt Price
The all-new, all-different Nerdage
Like the Uncanny X-Men in the 1970s, we’ve undergone a bit of a revamp here at Nerdage HQ. But rather than adding a boisterous, six-clawed Canadian to our ranks (though we are looking for one), we’ve redesigned the site to be more informative and easier to use. Feel free to share your comments on the new look!
– Matt Price
Nerdage has arrived; we’ve been mocked by The Lost Ogle
So, someone leaked the top blogs for 2008 at NewsOK to the Lost Ogle. Since Nerdage for the year ranked 4, we were singled out for some derision.
• The Nerdage Blog is about “Comic Books, Video Games, Action Figures, and Geek Culture.” Come on, was adding “Geek Culture” really necessary? This site even has something called the “Hobbit Blog” in its blogroll. This site makes Clark Matthews look as cool as the high school quarterback.
Well, let’s attack this point by point. 1. The Hobbit movie will make a gazillion dollars 2. Being a geek is now JUST AS COOL as being the high school quarterback (if not more so).
Anyway, thanks for stopping in, Lost Ogle! Keep checking back if you want to stay up on the latest on genre entertainment. Unless you’re too cool. (What high schools did you quarterback, again?)
– Matt Price
Happy birthday, Nerdage!
It was a year ago today when Nerdage began here at NewsOK. It’s been a good year for comics and video game fans, with “Iron Man,” “The Dark Knight,” “Grand Theft Auto IV,” the Brainiac arc of “Action Comics,” and much much more. I was glad to be here reporting and commenting on it as it happened. At times, Nerdage was even the most popular blog on NewsOK, which was a shock to me, and we’ve been continually one of the highly ranked reads around here, for which I am grateful.
My thanks to Nerdage contributors during its first year of existence:
Greg Elwell
Christopher Price
Chris Borthick
Kyle Roberts
Annette Price (who also made the pictured cake)
And many many thanks to all of you who read and comment. Here’s hoping for even more success in the coming year!
– Matt Price
“Everything is more fun when you’re a rebel”
At The Beat, Heidi McDonald makes what I thought was an excellent point (at the end of her discussion of “My Name is Bruce”):
“As I sometimes allude to during my late night digressions here, I think I liked it better when being a fan involved some kind of revelatory, transgressive or rebellious element and not Wikipedia and the IMDb. But then everything is more fun when you’re a rebel.”
What do you think? Was it better to be a fan when it required a little more fanatacism? I was watching “Lois & Clark” over the weekend, with my DVD sets, and I was remembering a time when I had obsessively taped and labeled the shows as they came on. Now, none of that is necessary. Does that change the experience?
– Matt Price
