A tribute to Sarah
I ran last night because it’s the only thing that made any sense.
Our friend, Sarah Soles, passed away Tuesday night. She was only 33. It was a shock to say the least. My husband met her two years ago, and I was lucky enough to get to know her, too. She was super smart and so involved in the community, namely with the Oklahoma City Philharmonic. She had so many great qualities, but my favorite was her encouraging nature. If she knew you, she knew about your family, your job, your passions. She always offered words of encouragement to my husband and me with our charity work. She always gave us advice and praised.
She was the kind of person who made you believe in yourself because she believed in you so much.
My husband called me while I was out of the office to tell me that Sarah had passed. I was in such shock. My first reaction was that the doctors should try something drastic to save her, as if it wasn’t already too late. My brain couldn’t understand that she was gone. I still don’t think I can. It doesn’t make any sense. We saw her two weeks ago at a Christmas party, and she was her usual cheerful, snarky, encouraging self. We took this photo together:
From left: Sarah Soles, my husband, friend Megan Elliot and me.
I kicked myself for taking a goofy photo. We should have take a photo together – smiling and having fun. Why did we waste that moment? Why is Sarah gone? Why her? What so young? Why now? Why this? Why would someone be taken out of this world when she made this world better every day?
My mind was a cacophony of whys. I couldn’t think and I couldn’t understand. I needed to clear my head and I needed answers. I left work, went home and put on my running clothes.
It wasn’t my fastest time. It wasn’t my longest distance. But it made the most sense of any run I’ve been on. My legs hurt and I kept going. I thought of Sarah – every time I saw her, she encouraged me in my writing and my volunteer work. She was so positive. She was so cheerful. I knew she would be encouraging me while I was running though my neighborhood.
All the why questions were still unanswered when I got back, but it was the best run I’ve had. I ran last night because Sarah couldn’t. I hope she would be proud of me.
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Carrie,
I don’t know where to begin. Whenever I write a letter or email, that’s usually how I begin. And to be fair enough, it’s usually true, but this time it’s because I have so much in my head that’s trying to get out. First off I have to thank you for what you wrote about Sarah. I’m a terrible writer and just the thought of trying to describe Sarah and the impact she had on others, on the world, is a daunting task. However, you nailed it. Oh my God, super smart and snarky! You know how sometimes you can be intimated by someone’s intellect, but not Sarah. I was always in awe of how smart she was.
I met Sarah in jr. high and a couple of years later in high school we were so close that it really pissed off some people. We would talk about everything. To this day, she knows me better than anyone and we haven’t talked in about 7 years.
“I think you were friends with Sarah Soles?? She passed away Monday. I saw it on Facebook. I know no details.”
That was how I found out. Wed, Dec 14 4:18 pm.
Sometimes I hate not being on Facebook.
“Thanks”
I texted back. I remember at the time thinking that’s the weirdest reply. I know it was a shock to learn about her death, but it still felt weird thanking a friend, for letting me know another friend had died. I would say passed, but I hate that word, that expression. She died damnit! At 33 and my grandfather just died at 85. You’re supposed to die at 85. You’ve lived a full life, had 4 kids 7 grandkids. Plus almost no one cried at his funeral. I know everyone was prepared for it but still.
Why is Sarah gone? Why her? Why so young? Why now? Why this? Why would someone be taken out of this world when she made this world better every day?
You get to question that Carrie! Especially the last one, I love how you put it. Not just made the world better, but made the world better every day. I wish I had answers. I wish I knew whom to get answers from.
Sarah,
I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever done that hurt you, truly. I know I’m one of the luckiest people in the world because I got to know you as well as I did. I loved you…I love you. Out of all the songs I’ve could have been listening to The Moon by Cat Power hit my playlist at the right time. Now I’ll never forget you, as if I ever could.
Think I’m gonna pinch it off here. Don’t get sentimental, it always ends up drivel!!!