Insulting advice from people smarter than you
Hello, you drooling, unwashed sacks of germs. How are your disgusting lives today? Good, good. What’s that? You’re afraid of catching swine flu? Then might I suggest you stop wallowing in your own filth?
Every year since all the newspapers and TV stations made a pact to stop covering real news and just make stuff up (re: 1997), reporters have been forced to “report” on nonsensical things. Like how not to get sick.
“But I’m very interested in that! How is it not news?”
Well, news usually means something is new. Something needs to happen for it to be news. (I suppose news could be nothing happening, but only if it was something we were used to happening, like Old Faithful not going off.)
And there’s nothing really new about flu and cold season, at least when it comes to prevention. Here is a list of the most common sense crap in the world which you should be doing regardless of airborne illnesses.
#1 Wash your hands.
#2 Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze. (And do #1 again.)
#3 If you’re sick, stay home and get better.
#4 Try eating a vegetable that isn’t french fries. And maybe drink some water instead of soda.
And every year, people ask the same questions, even though those rules never change. And then people get uppity when a doctor is “condescending” to them. Maybe it’s because, if you can’t remember to all of those things without a doctor telling you, you’re on a lower level.
That’s when condescending has to happen — when you’re below the norm. Morons.
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
HAHAHA!!
Very well put.