The Calm After the Storm
Following our rather stressful trip to M.D. Anderson last week, I’ve spent the last few days in quiet reflection. I began by finishing up the last of four blog entries I’d been writing about my family (please go back and read them if you have the chance). But then I went into contemplative mode, pondering what had just happened.
The news from Houston could have been awful. I shudder to even think about how bad it might have been; it’s so unhealthy to let the mind go there.
But instead, much to my surprise, the news turned out to be pretty good. Although the tumors hadn’t shrunk in the last three months (during which I received five more chemo treatments, a total of twenty-five since this nightmare began), they hadn’t grown either. The treatments I had endured kept the cancer at bay, for a time at least. This can only last for so long, but for now my body is holding its own.
Of course our two-day trip to Houston was much more than just having tests and awaiting results. There were travel arrangements to make (this time we flew), hotels and restaurants from which to choose, and transportation options to consider. The Oklahoman team was there, and we had to coordinate their coverage with an M.D. Anderson publicist. In addition, representatives from the hospital’s survivorship group wanted to meet with us, because their magazine is doing a story on me.
And then there were the complicating stresses. LeAnn spent a lot of her time on the phone attempting to work through numerous crises back home. Maddye, our high school senior who plans on going to Oklahoma State next year, was enrolling in a math class at OU in order to make next year a little easier. My wife wanted so much to be there to help Maddye through that process (you know how difficult finding your way around a college campus can be), but alas she was stuck in Houston with me. Then Maddye got sick. That meant getting medicine to her and finding a way for Ford to get home from school.
This is how it is for LeAnn. When she goes with me to Houston, responsibilities back home are always calling. When she stays home, she can’t help but worry about me, miles away. It’s a lose/lose situation.
So even with good news, it was an exhausting trip, both mentally and physically. I was glad, upon our return, to see the kids, along with our dog Gracie and our fat cat Ginger. I was thrilled to climb into my own bed, turn on the tv, and fall to sleep. I was thankful to wake up to a good cup of coffee and the Today Show.
This was the beginning of the calm after the storm. A time when you quietly consider what has just passed, knowing that you were lucky, knowing that another storm will soon be heading your way.
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Well said