Family
Two years ago my memoir, I Survived Cancer, but Never Won the Tour de France, was first published.
In the book, which is kind of a common man’s introduction/guide to the absolute craziness that is cancer, I included poems between each chapter. The poems were written during the thick of the battle. One of those poems is a favorite of mine, but it is also one of my most difficult. During the few times I have tried to read it out loud to audiences, I have choked up every time.
Anyway, for what it’s worth, here it is.
family
four will be
three
three will be
two
two will be
one
three bury
one
two bury
two
one buries
three
cruel world where
four
can’t just be
four
and always be
four
That’s a pretty painful poem, because almost all of us have experienced it in some way, and all of us will experience it eventually. That is, the loss of someone in our immediate family. My family, growing up, consisted of six of us: dad, mom, my three sisters, and me. We lost my sister Karyn to a car accident at the age of twenty. So six has become five. If I leave, five will become four.
My other family (the one in which I’m the husband and father) consists of four people: my wife LeAnn, my seventeen year old daughter Maddye, and my fourteen year old son Ford. I wrote the poem “family” while thinking of them, along with my own mortality and the loss of my sister.
It is sad when one of us has to leave. But it may be even sadder for those left behind, especially for that last person, the one who buries all the rest of his or her family.
Although this “Life is Real” series has primarily been about me up to this point, I want you to know that there are three others who are just as much a part of the story as I am. They are, in fact, up to their necks in it. Those people are, of course, LeAnn, Maddye, and Ford. They are my inner circle, the three people I love the most in the world.
Over the next week, I will be writing a tribute to each of them. I want to show you a glimpse of the incredible people that they are. And I want you to know that they too are doing their best to find hope and meaning and guidance during these difficult days.
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Comments
Jim,
I found your postings and wanted to say hello to you and LeAnn. We miss the days of being in Norman and being in Sunday School with you and other friends. You are still a great teacher and I love it that you continue to share. Many prayers.
Love Ron and Nancy
Dear Jim,
I am a 36 year old wife and mother or two. I lost my Dad to cancer 15 years ago and my Mother 5 months ago to cancer. I think of them everyday and cherish the wonderful memories of them. I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. You will all be in my prayers. Each day we have with the people we love the most in the world is a precious gift from God.
Brandi
Dear Jim,
Thank you so much for sharing this poem,”Family”. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has read it and seen themselves and their family reflected here, you have touched me so deeply that I had to walk away for a week before I could come back.
Prayers being sent up in smoke from Portland, Oregon for you and your family.
Teddie Seeley
Dear Jim,
I’ve just lost a dear friend and classmate, and I just happened to read your poem “Family” today–thanks. It may be the one I will remember the most of those you have written that I have read. Thanks for writing it.
Ed Frost
Norman