A New Calendar
I bought a new calendar last week, the 2009 month at a glance version. I prefer this version because I’m a month at a glance type of guy. I tend to get so focused on the tasks staring me directly in the face that I need a bigger picture to remind me visually of the road ahead. Even a week at a glance won’t do the trick.
Anyway, as I open the new calendar, I admit having mixed feelings, most of them falling on the negative side. I can’t help but wonder if there’s a particular day with my name on it, the day my body gives up what has been, I think, a good fight. There’s a time and a place for every purpose under heaven, it has been said, so I find myself thinking about certain months and seasons. Will I see another spring or summer? Will I make it past April to see Maddye’s 18th birthday or to May to see her graduate high school?
Plus, the new calendar is too open-ended. If I were to show you my last calendar, you’d see my chicken-scratch written all over it–notations about upcoming trips to Houston, poetry readings, writing deadlines, lunch and breakfast meetings, concerts by my son, vacations, etc. But the new calendar is strangely free of writing. Why? Well, because of the holidays and uncertainties regarding my health, I’ve done very little planning beyond this point. For two months now I’ve been saying, “I’ll decide that after the holidays.” So guess what? As of today, the holidays have officially ended.
On the other hand, in some ways I’m glad to say goodbye to the old calendar, for I can’t in all honesty say I’m sorry to see 2008 go. I’ve made it this far, which is good, but 2008 was in so many ways an awful year. Gas prices soared. Our economy tanked. Home values plunged. Many people lost their life savings due to banking blunders and sheer greed. My family was hit by bad news numerous times.
Yes, 2008 was tough, but it wasn’t all bad. Our country had an incredible presidential election, one that gives me hope. I celebrated my 21st wedding anniversary and published a new collection of poems. LeAnn and I went on some incredible vacations with friends and family. Ford finished a terrific six-song CD and played for his third time at Opening Night. Maddye became a high school senior. I gave two dozen public readings, saw some great plays and shows (Spamalot, Jersey Boys, Billy Elliot, Tom Waits, Beatles Love, and Jerry Seinfeld), read some great books (The Brothers Karamazov, Death Be Not Proud), and even saw a few good films (Frost/Nixon, Doubt, Slumdog Millionaire). I deepened old friendships and made some new ones. Plus we embarked on this series, with hopes that it would be helpful to others.
So I close the 2008 calendar and open the new one with relief and regret. Thank you for your prayers and may you all have a happy new year.
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Jim -
I’m sadden to see that the cancer has come back. I just wanted to let you know that your work at the Court was important and appreciated. You may not realize how much of an impact you had on many lives, especially those whom society has condemned. The world is a better place because you are here.
God Bless, Vicki