Many Ways to Help
A young girl was late getting home from school one afternoon and her mother began to worry. She called several of her daughter’s friends, but she was not at any of their houses. As her concern grew, she made one more trip outside to look for her when she saw her coming down the street.
Instead of greeting her daughter warmly and telling her how relieved she was to see her, she did what mothers often do when they are afraid – she scolded her. “Where have you been” Why didn’t you call? Didn’t you know I would be worried about you?”
The little girl explained that while walking down the street, she saw her friend Sally sitting on the curb crying because she’d broken her doll and she stopped to help her.
The mother’s frown turned to a soft smile and she said, “Oh, so you helped her fix her doll.” “No,” replied the girl, “I couldn’t fix her doll and so I sat down and I helped her cry.”
Sometimes there is someone we love with cancer and it can’t be fixed, but sitting beside them and helping them cry is a good thing to do.
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Comments
Ramona…I hear you being overwhelmed and with good reason. You have a lot ‘on your plate’ as they say.
The first things that come to my mind are things you’ve probably already considered, but just in case, I’ll say them again.
Is your father a candidate for Hospice? If so, they will be of help not only to him, but to all of your family. Is your father ready for nursing home care? and perhaps your Mother, too.
And as for your being close by….that should not automatically mean you do the most care. So while you may be the closest to pop in when needed, how about asking your siblings to do other things, such as grocery shopping, meal planning, food for the freezer, changing beds, cleaning house, running errands. doctor visits, etc.
Perhaps there are people in your church or that of your parents who would be glad to occasionaly “sit” while you have some time off for self care.
Often we neglect to ask for help and people have no way of knowing unless we speak up.
It might help if you could find a support group or pay a few visits to a professional counselor.
And perhaps other readers who’ve been – or are – in your situation can add some other suggestions.
What we do know for certain that unless you take care of yourself, you will eventually be of no help to anyone else.
My Father had lung cancer surgery 6/19/2007, which they removed the top of his right lung. Before surgery he was a body builder weighing 160lbs. Now he is down to 112. He had an Abdominal Aorta Anerisum on 5/2008. Since all this and the medication he is taking, his memory is going. He is 81 and so is my Mom. She is also ill, but seems to be in her right mind. Dad forgets things and repeats things all the time. Very forgetful. I as a caregiver am beside myself. I need help. I do have 2 sisters that try to do what they can, but I am more involved because I live 8 houses down, so I am there when they need me. It is not an everyday thing with Dad but we do see him getting worse. When he drives I am so worried he won’t remember how to get back home. I don’t know what to do. I do know that my Mom and Sisters need to get help as caregivers but I don’t know where to turn to. We live in Moore Oklahoma, if there is any advice you can give would help. Thank you Ramona Creek