Comments on: Normal Responses to a Major Change http://blog.newsok.com/lifeisreal-charlotte/2009/02/13/normal-responses-to-a-major-change/ Life is Real - Writing the final chapters Sat, 25 Feb 2012 06:32:27 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5 By: charlotte lankard http://blog.newsok.com/lifeisreal-charlotte/2009/02/13/normal-responses-to-a-major-change/comment-page-1/#comment-6 charlotte lankard Sat, 21 Feb 2009 18:55:27 +0000 http://blog.newsok.com/lifeisreal-charlotte/2009/02/13/normal-responses-to-a-major-change/#comment-6 As an only child, I know the “pull” of caring for aging parents and at the same time having a life of one’s own. I have discovered that unless I take care of myself, I won’t take good care of others and the realization of this may help you to make some changes. While I am sure your parents would prefer you to be their caretaker, it doesn’t sound like it is good for you and the resentment you are feeling is going to increase and eventually harm your relationship with them. Perhaps better to make some changes and allow them to be unhappy about it. Their care is your concern, but it doesn’t have to mean giving up your own life.

Your last 3 sentences tell me you are seeing some options. I encourage you to pursue those – maybe with the help of a therapist – who can help you navigate through what has to be done and also give you some support. Thanks for writing and my best wishes for a good life for yourself. Charlotte

]]> By: dharma delight http://blog.newsok.com/lifeisreal-charlotte/2009/02/13/normal-responses-to-a-major-change/comment-page-1/#comment-5 dharma delight Thu, 19 Feb 2009 09:27:55 +0000 http://blog.newsok.com/lifeisreal-charlotte/2009/02/13/normal-responses-to-a-major-change/#comment-5 Though I was born in Hugo, I was raised In Dallas. When my mother retired, she asked me to move “back home” with them and help care for my dad. I had to pack up my things and leave my friends…especially my boyfriend. Oh, I forgot to mention I’m an only child and a nurse. Although I should be honored and thankful to be caring for my dad, I’ve also been given the additional responsibility of managing legal, business and medical affairs for both parents. I’m also the family chauffeur and grocery shopper. I didn’t expect I’d have to care for both parents. The sad thing is I have no respite care. My depression has gotten worse, forcing me to seek hospitalization due to the fact I not only had suicidal tendencies, but a plan to carry out. When I read Jim’s blog about being thankful for the love and support of friends and family, it made me cry because here’s Jim, dying, yet wanting to live so badly. At the other end of the spectrum, I’m feeling trapped in a “job” that pays no money, has no vacation time, and I’m given the third degree (at 43, mind you) when I do get a chance to go to Wal-Mart in Idabel, Paris, or even as far away as Texarkana. For all these reasons, I felt suicide was the only way out. Reading Jim’s blog that day was such an inspiration to me. I even commented that Jim has inspired me to live. I do have things to be thankful for in my life. The ability and means to move back to Dallas, return back to school to obtain my BSN degree. And begin to experience the glories life has to offer.

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