The Strength to Remain Standing
A Ted Koppel documentary featured Leroy Sievers, a cancer patient walking in similar shoes as Jim. Following are some of his thoughts – thoughts that allow you to better understand challenges that cancer patients face, but also to witness the determination that most of them have to not give up. When I heard Siever’s words, I was reminded of my friend Jim Chastain when he and I were visiting with a group of the Oklahoman editors about telling his story. As we drew the meeting to a close, Jim said, “The story may be about my dying, but I want you to know I’m going to do everything I can to live!”
Following are Siever’s words, but they give you a glimpse of that kind of determination:
It all comes down to strength. Where do we find the strength to take one more pill, go through one more procedure, wait for the results of one more scan? How do we find the strength to keep moving when the pain is strong enough to bring us to our knees?
We’re all stronger than we think. But I’m talking about something more. Where does the strength come from to keep fighting, even when the odds may be stacked against us?
For me, I think some of it is just stubbornness. I’m not going to let the disease beat me. Or at least I’m going to make it work damn hard to get me. We lose our strength sometimes. Over the past few weeks, I admit that I’ve given into despair. There have been times when it all just seemed too much.
But I’ve never thought about giving up. Back when I was working in Latin America, one of the rules was that if you were stopped at a roadblock, you never got on your knees. Others, including journalists, had been forced to kneel. Then they were executed. So the thinking was, never get on your knees.
Well, I may have bad days. I may be weakened by the pain. It may be all I can do to fight through the day. But with all of that, I’m sure as hell not getting on my knees. Ever.
I see that same kind of determination in my friend Jan Greene who is fighting the same battle. It is sometimes the small things that do it, like a few weeks ago when she had her grandchildren spend the night. Their bedroom is just across the hall from her, but when she awakened the next morning, she found them both in her bedroom – Emily curled up beside her and Benjamin on a blanket by the side of her bed.
Not a moment she would wanted to have missed and so she, like Leroy Sievers and my friend Jim, is absolutely determined to not get on her knees. Ever.
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