Heritage Park Mall
We have a mall in Midwest City.
You can’t shop there.
You can’t go inside and walk anymore.
Why is it still there? There is a church where Dillards used to be. Sears still anchors the other end. Why is it still there?
Why doesn’t someone have some vision and do something! Lots of traffic all around it, surely something can be done!
The mall used to be the place to be for teenagers here, but now nothing goes on at the mall. No shopping. No walking. Nothing.
I’ve got it! This is where the movie theater could go! Perfect place for one! Large parking lot, lots of space. Hello, Warren Theaters, are you listening? What a great addition to this community, and what a perfect location!
Maybe someday, but for now, the sad old mall sits abandoned, waiting for new life. Waiting for someone with vision to make something out of nothing. Cold and lonely. But not forgotten.
Memorial Day: time to remember
Memorial Day always has been one of my favorite holidays.
It’s the first holiday of summer, even though the change of seasons doesn’t occur for nearly a month. That means it’s time to enjoy those warm-weather activities.
Of course, in Oklahoma, warm weather sometimes arrives early, which can sure play havoc with those of us who have allergies.
Memorial Day is a confirmation in many communities that school is — or nearly is — out. Like most people, when I was a student, I looked forward to those weeks when I got a break from the books and assignments.
I also enjoyed my summer job, earning a little money while spending time with people I knew well. I was lucky in having that opportunity.
Much of time in the summers was spent playing baseball. The older I got, the more fun it became. Again, it was spending time with people I knew well, traveling to ballparks and working together.
I always enjoyed watching the Indianapolis 500, from the prerace pageantry to the dueling on the track to the final lap. When I got to take a lap around the Brickyard while on vacation one year, I thought about all those drivers I had seen competing on that very same track.
That also made watching the race on TV more enjoyable because I was able to recall certain areas of the race course.
Taking a trip, even a short venture to the lake, to relax and check out the scenery or play in the water also has been something I have tried to do.
And I always remember those who no longer are with us, including those who gave their lives in service to our country so that we might have those opportunities such as I mentioned above. “Thank you” never could adequately cover that debt.
We should all remember them … always.
See more about those in our armed forces in KNOWIT.NEWSOK.COM/MILITARY-OKLAHOMA, as well as in The Oklahoman.
Keep the elephant off your chest
Thirteen years ago today.
It felt like the whole world was sitting on my chest; or, at least, a huge elephant.
It’s a pain you don’t forget.
I knew I was in trouble when I got home from work and felt anything but comfortable after changing clothes.
I was hot, out of breath, sweaty, clammy, slightly sick at my stomach, with a headache and a numbness along my left arm in any and all areas that DIDN’T have pain.
I answered a phone call, then walked out of the house … slowly … to take my wife to dinner. Friday night, the start of the weekend, and I was not doing so well.
When I opened the car door, sat down, then slumped over the steering wheel, she asked if I was OK.
“I’ll be fine,” I said. “Where do you want to go eat?”
She replied: “I think we better go to the hospital.”
She knew I was in trouble when I didn’t argue but rather said: “OK. You better drive.”
There was no doubt in neither her mind nor mine that I was having a heart attack. The question was: how big?
When we finally arrived at the hospital, my wife pulled up to the emergency room door. I told her to park the car and I was going to walk inside.
She was going to get me help, but I told her it wasn’t hurting at that moment. It wasn’t. But it started again as soon as I walked through the sliding doors.
I sat down at the admitting desk and was asked not “What’s your ailment,” but rather, “Who’s your insurance company?” My wife came through the door about that time, telling the woman behind the glass: “He’s having a heart attack. Can you get him help, please?”
From there, I was taken to triage, where the process started again.
“What’s your name and your insurance company?”
Once again, my wife pleaded for assistance.
Finally, someone listened and they put me on a gurney and wheeled me into the emergency room while my wife filled out the forms.
I was lucky. Dr. Kent Potts (now retired) was there, called in to handle another patient. When the staff made an initial check on me, he took over.
It took only a minute or so for him to make the decision to send me on to surgery. I remember being wheeled out of the room, then waking up as I was being taken to a room in intensive care, with some metalwork in my chest.
It was 13 years ago, but it seems like last week. That experience cost me a major portion of my heart. Afterward, I was “educated” on what I had done to lead up to the painful moment when my life nearly ended. As I recall, they told me there were some seven things that can lead to a heart attack, and I had eight of them.
Four days later, I was able to go home. Rehab basically was walking and getting up and around. It was an experience I never will forget. I wouldn’t wish that event on anyone.
In fact, I would encourage anyone who has a family history of heart disease (which I had but didn’t think about it), or has any of the warning signs, to get it checked.
Learn more about heart disease and what you can do to handle it by going to KNOWIT.NEWSOK.COM/HEART-DISEASE-OKLAHOMA.
Take it from someone who knows. You don’t want the elephant to sit on your chest. It hurts.
Someday a cure for addiction
Why, even in the face of the most devastating consequences, can’t our children stop abusing alcohol or other drugs?
And if addiction is a disease, a brain disease, is it conceivable that science might someday find a cure?
I encourage you to watch the explanation from Dr. Nora Volkow on a segment of 60 Minutes which aired April, 29, 2012, titled, “Hooked: Why bad habit are hard to break.”
Volkow is the head of the National Institute on Drug Abuse. She has revolutionized how science and medicine view addiction as a disease, not a character defect.
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7406968n&tag=contentBody;storyMediaBox
Here is a special song for parents of chronically addicted children written and performed by Steve Dan Mills about parents agonizing over the whereabouts and well being of their alcohol/drug addicted children.
It’s called “Where Is My Child Tonight?”
New for you: News From You
“Have I got news for you.”
Ever heard that phrase? Most of us either have said that, heard it, or done both during our lives. There’s always something we think is important enough to share with others and they with us.
A few years ago, when we established our “know it” communities we offered readers a chance to share news releases, alerts, recognitions and other information (including photos) by sending their items by email to any or all of the five sites:
edmond@newsok.com
mid-del@newsok.com
norman@newsok.com
okc@newsok.com
yukon@newsok.com
Many groups and individuals have participated. You can see what they are sending by going to the reader-submitted area (upper right) of each community:
http://knowit.newsok.com/edmond
http://knowit.newsok.com/midwest-city
http://knowit.newsok.com/norman
http://knowit.newsok.com/oklahoma-city
http://knowit.newsok.com/yukon
(Note: You can see all of them by going to: http://knowit.newsok.com/)
The instructions also advise that editors at The Oklahoman will consider items submitted for publication in the newspaper. That has happened.
But now, that has been enhanced by using a page, labeled News From You, each Saturday in the Local/State section of the newspaper.
We even include posted blog material.
So how can you get your information to us for consideration?
You can send to the communities, as mentioned above, by following the directions for emailing.
Or, you can send email to Metro reporters Vallery Brown (vbrown@opubco.com), Matt Patterson (mpatterson@opubco.com), Jane Glenn Cannon in Norman (jcannon@opubco.com), or Diana Baldwin in Edmond (dbaldwin@opubco.com).
It’s your news to share and be shared.
The parents speak
The Edmond Chapter of Parents Helping Parents recently received a grant. The funds from the grant were used to create video testimonies from parents and professional cousnelors who attend the Edmond Chapter parent support meetings.
Following are comments you may find very helpful:
“As a person in recovery, it was vital for me to have one or two people who I knew were there for me. You know, healthy people who were ready for me when I went into recovery. That’s the first place I went when I needed help to find recovery. If I would not have had that support then, I would have just gave up and stayed out there using.” — CJ (daughter)
“After attending our first meeting, we then realized how long we had been steeped in denial and that denial allowed the addiction to progress and that was a dangerous place.” — Paula (Mom)
“My greatest satisfaction when speaking at the Edmond chapter meetings is when I see the light bulb go off; you can see it in the parents’ eyes.” — Patty Gail Patten PLC, LMFT, LADC
“At my first meeting, I felt a lot of despair, no hope. Today, I don’t feel that way and I give the meetings I attended the majority of the credit.” — Doug (Dad)
“I can see how some parents might think this is a very private matter if their child or loved one has a drug problem but they need to understand that by going to the Edmond chapter meetings everyone there is in the same position and you will never find a better support group.” — Julie (Mom)
“The meetings became such a reassuring and comfortable place for my husband and I.” — Leslie (Mom)
For more information about the Edmond Chapter of Parents helping Parents, please go to www.parentshelpingparents.info and click on “Chapters.”
Suicide and substance abuse
I once took a call from my child who was threatening suicide. I can tell you nothing in my life, including my tour of duty in Vietnam, scared me more.
The good news is, I was seeing a counselor at the time and she told me that I should prepare for the possibility of such a call. We discussed it at length and I feel that perhaps the way I handled the call may have given my child the hope and support he needed to not follow through with the threat.
There is a suicide every 16 minutes in the U. S. Substance abuse is the biggest risk factor for suicide in America.
Edmond is hosting a “Suicide Prevention Summit” on Monday, April 23, at the University of Central Oklahoma’s Nigh Center, Constitution Hall. The event will be 6 to 8 p.m.
This program is specifically designed to equip every person, including children over the age of 12, with the proper tools to recognize the signs of someone who may be planning suicide and what they can do about it.
There will be several professional counselors explaining the tools available to you.
Here are some of the breakout sessions:
* QPR (Question, Persuade, Refer)
* Parents Helping Parents
* Heartline’s HELP Youth Suicide Prevention Training
* Signs & Symptoms of Adolescent Depression
* Youth Suicide Prevention Tool Kit
* Worried About Your Friend.
If you would like more information, please email edmondparents@aol.com
Where do you start and end?
At the Edmond chapter meeting of Parents Helping Parents, we received an exceptional presentation on boundaries by Patty Gail Patten, M.S., LPC, LADC, LMFT.
I believe that every parent who attended left the meeting with a better understanding on how to adopt appropriate boundaries, which will lead to a positive change for all family members.
Patty Gail said: “The best relationship advice includes recommending behaviors that consider boundaries. The worst and most damaging relationship advice denies considering boundaries.
“When (you are) faced with a relationship problem, no relationship advice can be helpful without a determination of your personal responsibility to identify where you start and end, and where the other person starts and ends. Just as an owner of real estate may be angry to have someone trespass on land that is owned, we become angry and hurt when another person trespasses on our personal boundaries.
“If we do not know what they are, we cannot respect others’ boundaries and cannot enforce our own. This can be one reason for us to have very destructive and dysfunctional relationships.”
Depression, co-dependency, anxiety and many other conditions can improve by becoming aware of and enforcing our personal boundaries.
Patty Gail conducts workshops on boundaries and related relationship issues. I have attended one of her workshops and highly recommend it.
Her next workshop will be April 21 at her office located at 1700 W Britton Road in Oklahoma City. If you would like more information contact her at 818-1585, or on her cell at (918) 284-0733.
It’s sniff and snort time for those of us with allergies
Pardon my sniff. Sorry about the snort. It may annoy you, but it isn’t the most enjoyable thing for me either.
Since I was a boy (and that’s been a while), I’ve had to deal with allergies and a sinus condition. Not that it’s ever any fun, come this time of year, it’s downright unpleasant.
Yes, I’ve been to medical experts. Yes, I’ve been tested for allergic reactions. Yes, I’ve used an inhaler. Yes, I’ve taken other prescribed medicines. And, yes, I still have sniffles.
I try not to sniff, but it’s just all but impossible. I’ve been told that it’s as much habit as need to sniff. Doesn’t feel that way on my end of the sniff, I can tell you. It helps me breathe when the sinus and allergies kick in.
I try to limit the snorts as much as possible because they can be rather embarrassing if they occur at the wrong time. As in, loud. It’s not like a laugher’s snort. You’d just have to hear it to understand.
When I read that this is expected to be an extremely bad season for allergy sufferers, I just thought about those who have severe respiratory problems during this time. It’s most uncomfortable, and it can be dangerous.
Try holding your finger on one side of your nose and using only one nostril to breathe. After you do so, maybe you’ll appreciate the breathing problems those with allergies and other such situations face. And maybe my little sniffs (and snorts) will be more acceptable.
I promise I’ll try to limit them. Just bear with me. It’s not fun for me either.
To learn more about allergies and how to cope with them, read reports on NewsOK and in KNOWIT.NEWSOK.COM/FLU-PNEUMONIA-ALLERGIES-OKLAHOMA.
Wisdom from the very best source! (Part 2)
The following is Part 2 of my responses from parents on what they have learned from their experiences with addiction and their child.
“I learned that I can only control how I react to a person, a situation or a comment.”
“I have learned not to engage in arguments with my child. Disengage!”
“I have learned my daughter’s addiction is not my fault.”
“I have learned that a relapse starts well before an addict actually engages in substance abuse.”
“I have learned It is a disease and that is cunning, baffling and powerful. ”
“I have learned It is so much more powerful than I am.”
“I have learned I am powerless over my daughter and her choices.”
“I have learned that powerlessness does not mean helpless or weakness.”
“I learned the more I try to control another person place or thing the less peace I have in my life.”
“I have learned that consequences do not matter to addicts.”
“I learned that my daughter is a sick kid trying to get better and not a bad kid trying to get good.”
“I learned to ask for help.”
“I have learned that 12-step programs work.”
“I learned to trust the process. ”
“I learned to let my son suffer his own consequences.”
“I learned that there is hope.”
What parent’s have learned through their own personal recovery:
“I learned that there is a God and it is not me.”
“I learned that I did the very best I could with what I had … and that was enough.”
“I learned that I love my daughter with all my heart but I have my own life to live.”
“I learned to save myself and let my family watch.”
“To live in the present moment.”
“I learned to be grateful for everything.”
“I learned that there are miracles.”
“I learned that I am worthy of love and have a tremendous capacity to love other people.”
“I learned that prayer is powerful.”
“I learned to experience all there is in this life.”
“I have learned about accepting the things I cannot change and learned to have courage to change the things I can. ”
“I have learned to forgive myself.”
“I learned that fear is selfish.”
“I learned to trust.”
“I learned to laugh again.”
“I learned how to have my head, my heart and my body in the same place at the same time.”
I learned to love this life I am living one day at a time.”
