The big challenge for parents
When parents learn that their child’s abuse of alcohol or other drugs is destroying their lives, they lose all sense of reality. They live in a fog and slowly release all self-control.
How can parent’s control their emotions? How do you stop the fear and worry as your child continues a path of self-destruction?
It’s not easy but it is possible for parents to regain their sanity. This is why organizations like Al-Anon, Families Anonymous and Celebrate Recovery were started. They are support groups based on the 12 steps and adopted specifically for family members who are dealing with a loved one’s addiction.
These programs allow us to change. They provide us a proven path that will allow us to regain the life we were called to live and one that brings back the peace and serenity that was taken from us by our loved one’s addiction.
Change is difficult and this why it is such a challenge for us to accept the fact that we need to be in recovery as much as our loved one does.
That is the true challenge we face. I speak from experience as it took me seven years to begin to understand what I have just written. It was another two years before I began attending 12-step meetings and worked the 12 steps with a sponsor.
I credit my renewed faith in God and the 12 steps for giving me back my life. A life of meaning and purpose.
I pray for your child and recovery for all who suffer from this disease.
The old Bomber tower
The old Bomber water tower in Midwest City soon will be torn down.
I remember my buddies and I in grade school daring one another to climb it. Of course, no one was brave enough for the task.
Compared to the new tower, the old tower is really unattractive, although something about it takes me back to the days of piling into someone’s car and going to Bomber football games, the crispness of the air, the sound of the band playing Bomber Fight, the smell of fireworks (no names mentioned here to protect the guilty), the wildly inappropriate chants coming out of the student section.
The old tower harkens back to more innocent times, when you could let your children roam the streets and not worry about them, and gasoline was affordable.
Yes, the old tower will come down soon, but we will always remember the days that she kept watch over, the good old days, the innocent days.
An introduction is in order
Hello! My name is Ken Tate and I am your new blogger for Midwest City!
I have lived in Midwest City for most of my life, graduated a Bomber, and still live there with my three beautiful daughters.
I will be talking about everything Midwest City, including past, present and future goings on. I am very passionate about my home town and I hope to bring some insight into Midwest City from someone who not only grew up here, but also from someone who is raising children here as well.
I am new to this blogging thing, but I’m very excited about the opportunity to share my love of Midwest City.
I look forward to hearing from you all, and I look forward to sharing my thoughts about this wonderful city!
Safety knows
Hi all! My name is Dave Koeneke and I am the executive director of the Oklahoma Safety Council. Our council is a non-profit and our primary responsibility is to be a safety resource to companies throughout Oklahoma. Secondly, we are a resource to the public and we offer courses such as defensive driving, first aid and CPR to all that want to attend.
This is my first time to author a blog here and I am excited about the opportunity. There are many things that I would like to share with others about safety at work and at home. There is typically a bleed-over of our habits to work safely. How safely we perform our jobs at work will shape our beliefs for being safe at home and at play as well.
I might introduce a picture or two here and there in the future to show you situations or equipment that might help in safety education for you. I hope we have some fun here too, as safety seems like it can be a dry subject. It does pay to work and play safely because we want to be healthy and keep all of our fingers, toes and limbs in tact. Lord knows we all want to be able to play with our kids, grand kids and just be able to walk upright and enjoy life.
We have to learn to make safety a priority and a habit. If we do this second nature then our chances of being hurt go down considerably and our lives move along a whole lot better. So, I’ll hit on some safety subjects on a regular basis and if you have anything you want to hear about or comment on please fire away!
Keep the elephant off your chest
Thirteen years ago today.
It felt like the whole world was sitting on my chest; or, at least, a huge elephant.
It’s a pain you don’t forget.
I knew I was in trouble when I got home from work and felt anything but comfortable after changing clothes.
I was hot, out of breath, sweaty, clammy, slightly sick at my stomach, with a headache and a numbness along my left arm in any and all areas that DIDN’T have pain.
I answered a phone call, then walked out of the house … slowly … to take my wife to dinner. Friday night, the start of the weekend, and I was not doing so well.
When I opened the car door, sat down, then slumped over the steering wheel, she asked if I was OK.
“I’ll be fine,” I said. “Where do you want to go eat?”
She replied: “I think we better go to the hospital.”
She knew I was in trouble when I didn’t argue but rather said: “OK. You better drive.”
There was no doubt in neither her mind nor mine that I was having a heart attack. The question was: how big?
When we finally arrived at the hospital, my wife pulled up to the emergency room door. I told her to park the car and I was going to walk inside.
She was going to get me help, but I told her it wasn’t hurting at that moment. It wasn’t. But it started again as soon as I walked through the sliding doors.
I sat down at the admitting desk and was asked not “What’s your ailment,” but rather, “Who’s your insurance company?” My wife came through the door about that time, telling the woman behind the glass: “He’s having a heart attack. Can you get him help, please?”
From there, I was taken to triage, where the process started again.
“What’s your name and your insurance company?”
Once again, my wife pleaded for assistance.
Finally, someone listened and they put me on a gurney and wheeled me into the emergency room while my wife filled out the forms.
I was lucky. Dr. Kent Potts (now retired) was there, called in to handle another patient. When the staff made an initial check on me, he took over.
It took only a minute or so for him to make the decision to send me on to surgery. I remember being wheeled out of the room, then waking up as I was being taken to a room in intensive care, with some metalwork in my chest.
It was 13 years ago, but it seems like last week. That experience cost me a major portion of my heart. Afterward, I was “educated” on what I had done to lead up to the painful moment when my life nearly ended. As I recall, they told me there were some seven things that can lead to a heart attack, and I had eight of them.
Four days later, I was able to go home. Rehab basically was walking and getting up and around. It was an experience I never will forget. I wouldn’t wish that event on anyone.
In fact, I would encourage anyone who has a family history of heart disease (which I had but didn’t think about it), or has any of the warning signs, to get it checked.
Learn more about heart disease and what you can do to handle it by going to KNOWIT.NEWSOK.COM/HEART-DISEASE-OKLAHOMA.
Take it from someone who knows. You don’t want the elephant to sit on your chest. It hurts.
Hear the Truth!
The Edmond Chapter of Parents Helping Parents has just completed a short video of what parents can expect by attending a Parents Helping Parents meeting.
I encourage you to review this video as it makes some powerful statements concerning how parents are affected by addiction. Please pass it on to others who may also benefit.
The video is posted on Utube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0ccV5TPQqw
I believe this video does a wonderful job of letting extended family members and friends of parents who have an addicted child better understand what the family is truly up against.
With a new understanding of the impact addiction has on the parents, everyone will be better prepared to be a real help to the family.
Parents heap a ton of needless blame and shame on themselves. They need to hear the truth: they are not to blame.
I look forward to your responses.
Want to Go Green? Ways to Make a Difference Behind the Wheel
BY CHUCK MAI, AAA
Hoping to decrease your carbon footprint and live a greener life? What and how you drive is a large part of your daily carbon footprint. Electric engines, CNG-powered vehicles and even traditional internal combustion engines have become more efficient and emit fewer greenhouse gasses. Even if you’re not in the market for a new car, here are some tips to help you get the best efficiency and minimize greenhouse gasses no matter what you drive.
Compressed Natural Gas
Vehicles running on compressed natural gas (CNG) marry efficiency with markedly reduced tailpipe emissions. While many gasoline-powered vehicles have been converted to run on compressed natural gas, which is relatively abundant and produced in Oklahoma, the Honda Civic GX is the only sedan that comes from the factory with this ability. CNG vehicles use a standard piston engine.
Electric Power
Full-electric vehicles (EV) do not use gasoline and rely solely on battery power. With the average cost for a kilowatt hour of electric energy at approximately 12 cents, to fully charge an EV with a 24KWh battery pack would cost around $2.88. That works out to between 3.0 cents and 4.4 cents per mile for fuel. However, to be fair, you really should also consider the environmental and real cost of making that electricity. With EVs, there is no need for oil changes, ignition system maintenance, fuel system service or exhaust pipe and muffler replacements. A stand out in this category is the Nissan Leaf.
Plug-In Hybrid Electric Vehicles
Similar fuel economy can be realized in plug-in hybrid powertrains. These vehicles use a rechargeable battery pack that allows the car to travel up to 35 miles before the onboard gasoline engine starts. In some cars, this engine will provide power to the drive wheels. In other models this engine powers a generator that delivers power to the motor driving the vehicle while also recharging the batteries. Unlike fully electric vehicles, a plug-in hybrid is limited only by the range of its gas tank. The Toyota Prius PHEV and 2013 Ford Fusion are great examples of plug-ins in the marketplace today.
Gasoline-Electric Hybrids
Hitting the market hard in 2012, gasoline-electric hybrids like the Nissan Altima Hybrid and Honda Civic Hybrid use a gasoline engine and an electric motor. A full or parallel hybrid can run on either the gasoline or electric motor, or use both for maximum performance. A mild hybrid uses the electric motor to aid the gasoline engine, which must always be running when the car is moving. Full hybrids can travel on electric power alone. Hybrids never need to be plugged into a wall outlet or external charging station to keep the batteries at full power. The gasoline engine that powers the car also handles the task of recharging the batteries.
Diesels
Diesels are not often thought of as being “green,” but the latest generation of diesel vehicles produce fewer tailpipe emissions and significantly reduce carbon dioxide output. Today’s diesels are so clean they meet environmental standards in all states, including those that have adopted the more stringent California emissions rules. Among diesel powered cars, the Audi A3 is a standout.
Don’t forget More Efficient Gasoline Vehicles
Manufacturers are even updating or planning to update their current models to be environmentally friendly. Ford has launched their EcoBoost engines that use turbocharging technology, making it possible to use smaller, more fuel efficient engines that are still able to provide the levels of acceleration needed for safe merging and passing. The Chevrolet Cruze and new Dodge Dart will also offer turbocharged four-cylinder engines in place of larger and less economical engines.
For motorists that are not in the market for a new car, but want to decrease their carbon footprint, AAA suggests the following simple changes to lessen the impact of transportation on the environment:
- Slow down. Decreasing vehicle speed by 10 mph can significantly increase fuel efficiency and decrease the associated carbon dioxide output.
- Drive at a steady pace and anticipate traffic patterns. Accelerating rapidly then having to brake, wastes fuel and causes brakes to wear more quickly.
- Plan your route in advance. Consolidate trips whenever possible and plan to travel during lighter traffic times.
- Remove unneeded items from the trunk and avoid using the roof rack. Added weight and air resistance will cause more fuel to burn.
- If your car has an “ECO” setting, use it. It will smooth out your gas pedal inputs; optimize transmission shift points and decrease air conditioners impact on the engine.
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The ‘fraidy hole’
When you grow up in Tornado Alley, you learn at an early age to pay attention to the weather. You also learn how to survive it.
While growing up in Ponca City, I became familiar with the signs of the approach of severe weather.
Things such as:
* Birds changing the volume and amount of their chirping, increasing along with their numbers as they rapidly switched locations.
* Wind speed, direction shifts and temperature drops, often .
* Rolling clouds, that changed color, turning almost black or exhibiting a dark green cast, which indicated hail.
* Rumbling thunder in the distance, then moving into the immediate area.
* Lightning, frequent and often brilliant, especially the nighttime electrical shows.
* That weird, spooky music the local radio station always played when storms were in the forecast.
* The voice of the local radio weather expert, giving updates.
* Sirens bellowing out a warning that a dangerous situation was approaching.
And then … the dash to safety.
Sometimes it was the lower area of the cafeteria in the school building nearby.
Sometimes it was a closet.
If there was time, or if we were on that side of town, a trip to a longtime family friend’s storm shelter, known as “the cellar,” or “the fraidy hole.”
At the school, there were dozens of people, from small children to elderly couples, all who lived within a few blocks of the building. It was loud and generally hot.
In the closet, it was cramped and rather uncomfortable. Luckily, that was a last resort.
The fraidy hole was the place to be. It could hold about a dozen people. Unless things really got nasty outside, however, there were about six to eight women and children inside, playing games or talking about so-and-so’s family, while the men stood outside with their arms crossed and always looking skyward as they talked about more important things … fishing, automobiles, championship wrestling …
I always felt that if we headed to the fraidy hole, it meant the town was in danger. WE were in danger. And it stayed that way until the all-clear from the sirens, the spooky music on the radio stopped, or the clouds rolled away.
If you grew up in Oklahoma, you may have experienced something similar. It all came back to me recently when I read Mary Phillips’ “Early-day tornado shelters known as ‘storm caves’ “ http://tinyurl.com/85k4t22. Very entertaining.
You also can learn more about Oklahoma’s weather by going to KNOWIT.NEWSOK.COM/SEVERE-WEATHER-OKLAHOMA and following Bryan Painter’s weather blog on NewsOK.com.
Good information to help keep you safe.
Eat like a well-seasoned traveler
BY CHUCK MAI, AAA
To really get the flavor of a destination, dig into the local cuisine. To savor your next vacation safely, follow this advice.
• Wash your hands. Or use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer before you eat. Avoid touching your mouth and eyes with your hands and as much as possible, don’t touch hand rails, door handles and other fixtures touched daily by hundreds of other people.
• Don’t drink the water. When traveling in developing countries, skip tap water. Drink bottled water, and make sure the cap is sealed before you sip. Beware of ice and also fruits and vegetables that could have been rinsed in tap water.
• Bring on the heat. Hot food is safer food. According to David Shlim, M.D., president-elect of the International Society of Travel Medicine, “Heat kills the bacteria and viruses that cause illness.” Keep this in mind when sampling street food.
• Have a plan. Even if you follow all the rules, factors you can’t control can potentially lead to illness. Before leaving home, see your doctor, or better yet, a doctor who specializes in travel medicine. (Go to istm.org for a directory.) He or she can prescribe an antibiotic to take along and advise you on what else you might need for your specific destination. Also, consult the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (cdc.gov/travel).
• Enjoy every bite. Don’t get so wrapped up in the rules that you forget to have fun. After all, eating is a big part of the adventure.
Someday a cure for addiction
Why, even in the face of the most devastating consequences, can’t our children stop abusing alcohol or other drugs?
And if addiction is a disease, a brain disease, is it conceivable that science might someday find a cure?
I encourage you to watch the explanation from Dr. Nora Volkow on a segment of 60 Minutes which aired April, 29, 2012, titled, “Hooked: Why bad habit are hard to break.”
Volkow is the head of the National Institute on Drug Abuse. She has revolutionized how science and medicine view addiction as a disease, not a character defect.
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7406968n&tag=contentBody;storyMediaBox
Here is a special song for parents of chronically addicted children written and performed by Steve Dan Mills about parents agonizing over the whereabouts and well being of their alcohol/drug addicted children.
It’s called “Where Is My Child Tonight?”
