Take a trip in Oklahoma
You don’t have to be a world traveler to have an enjoyable time for rest and relaxation. And there are plenty of spots right here in Oklahoma that can be entertaining and inexpensive.
Visit http://knowit.newsok.com/travel-tips and wimgo.com to learn what our state has to offer. For tourism purposes, the state has six regions: Frontier Country, Great Plains Country, Green Country, Kiamichi Country, Lake & Trail Country and Red Carpet Country. Each has its unique set of possibilities.
There are some wonderful museums throughout the state. Each of Oklahoma’s 77 counties has museums and/or historic sites that present the past, present and future.
See great worship sites, the large military installations and more.
There are major art exhibits, outstanding historical displays, noteworthy educational sites and lots of musical entertainment possibilities. You can, in a matter of hours, take a trip through time, from the age of dinosaurs to space travel and beyond.
There are top-notch sports venues, great places to get outdoors, as well as Oklahoma’s lakes and streams. Whether it be through the small towns or the large cities, you can see how the residents of our state make their livings and what their contributions are to the state, the nation and the world.
From artwork to natural beauty, Oklahoma has plenty to see. So plan a trip or two, a long weekend, or maybe your next lengthy vacation here in our state.
Parents need to be ‘Hope’ dealers
I recently visited with a father who was desperate to find ways to help his addicted son find recovery.
The son is in his early 30s and in jail. He never has been able to maintain sobriety for longer than a year, and is scheduled to be released soon. He faces a five-year prison sentence if he doesn’t complete a six-month treatment program.
The extended family and friends long ago gave up on his son.
This parent’s greatest fear is he will return to his world of addiction.
One reason he is likely to do so is his disease has convinced him that treatment doesn’t work for him. He has tried treatment programs over and over and continues to relapse, so he feels he is one of those chosen few who will just have to die.
That is the addictive thinking that can be altered if the addicted child can see a reason for hope.
Hope is given to the child through family cohesion which is expressed in an organized and supervised fashion by a licensed alcohol/drug counselor who specializes in codependency.
A professional should be involved in recovery because family and friends influence each other. The counselor needs to evaluate the status of this social system as the son re-enters his world.
Long-term recovery is much more likely when the child knows he has the potential to bond with his family and friends.
My primary point to this dad was he needed to stay involved with his addicted child, but not enable him. I do not want parents just to “wait for the child to hit bottom” because we know now that “bottom” is another term for death.
Also, a willingness to develop personal responsibility for better health is the key to long-term recovery. This is possible by forgiveness, love and hope shared with the child.
“Broken” author William Cope Moyers, who is in recovery himself, recently stated in a radio interview, ” … finally, one day, I decided I didn’t want to die and I needed to take personal responsibilit … There is no cure for addiction, but there is a solution and that solution includes personal responsibility.”
In reading his book, one element which supported the author in finding personal responsibility was he knew he had a supportive family.
As parents, we should stay involved – but do not enable — to prevent an addicted child’s death. We can replace our child’s dope dealer by becoming his/her “hope” dealers.
Westbound I-40/Crosstown opening set
For all of you who’ve been wondering, here’s the release from the Oklahoma Department of Transportation. It’s time for an opening!
—————————-
The westbound Interstate 40 Crosstown traffic switch is planned for Sunday, Feb. 19, and brings about a big change for downtown area ramps including the Robinson Avenue and Hudson Avenue ramps.
For nearly 50 years, westbound I-40 Crosstown traffic has used Robinson Avenue as an exit and entrance to the Crosstown. Once traffic is switched to the new westbound I-40 lanes on Sunday, drivers will no longer be able to use the Robinson Avenue on-ramp as the Oklahoma Department of Transportation works to improve safety by eliminating weaving movements in the area. The Hudson Avenue on-ramp will also close permanently. The nearest on-ramps will be at Shields Boulevard and Western Avenue.
Those seeking access to I-40 from downtown or Bricktown events are encouraged to utilize Shields Avenue when leaving downtown. This is a convenient ramp for drivers and one that has added capacity.
The new westbound I-40 off-ramp to Robinson Avenue will serve as an excellent route for drivers going to the downtown and Bricktown areas. Also, the department worked hard to expedite the reopening of all four lanes of north- and southbound Robinson Avenue recently between SW 6 and SW 11 and that is now open.
“We’re hoping the advanced warning of upcoming changes with the downtown ramps will help drivers to plan their route changes and transition more easily,” Division Engineer Paul Green said.
Access points for the new westbound and eastbound I-40 Crosstown include:
New westbound I-40
· on-ramp from Shields Boulevard.
· off-ramp to Robinson Avenue.
· on and off-ramps at Western Avenue.
· off-ramp to Pennsylvania Avenue.
· off-ramp to Agnew Avenue.
New eastbound I-40
· off-ramp to Agnew Avenue.
· on and off-ramps at Pennsylvania Avenue.
· on and off-ramps at Western Avenue.
· on and off-ramps at Shields Boulevard.
For a map of the new I-40 Crosstown ramps and a detailed interactive route map, visit www.odot.org/newsmedia/i40-okc/index.php
Additional ramps will be available as construction progresses over the next two years. The flow of traffic on the new interstate will not be at its peak until construction is completely finished by 2014. The downtown roadway, commonly referred to by the City of Oklahoma City as the “Boulevard” will eventually serve as key access to the downtown area once it is completed.
Sunday’s traffic switch brings about a benchmark of progress for the I-40 Crosstown project. It is extremely important to realize however, there is a considerable amount of work ahead still with mainline I-40 as well as all of the downtown reconnections. Drivers are urged to remain alert to construction signs and slow down on the new interstate route as construction in the corridor continues. Drivers should remain flexible and allow extra time locating new routes.
As mentioned previously, transportation officials warned that while work on the new alignment had minimal impacts to traffic until now, construction is now near the downtown area and therefore, impacting traffic.
Daily closures will be noted in the Traffic Advisories section of www.okladot.state.ok.us.
In preparation of Sunday’s traffic switch …
Beginning Sunday, the existing westbound I-40 traffic will be narrowed to one lane between I-35 (Dallas Junction) and I-44 (Amarillo Junction) from 6 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. or earlier if the transition is complete on the new highway. Also, starting at 6 a.m. all westbound I-40 on-ramps to the exiting Crosstown will be closed permanently in order to shift westbound I-40 traffic to the new I-40 Crosstown alignment. Motorists are strongly encouraged to avoid the area and use I-44 or I-240 to bypass the Crosstown during that time.
Because all on-ramps to the existing westbound I-40 Crosstown close permanently at 6 a.m. Sunday, motorists are advised to use I-235, Sheridan Avenue and other local roads to access the downtown area during that time, if needed.
Black ice danger
As many Oklahomans discovered today, black ice is dangerous. It can turn what normally would be a smooth ride into a treacherous journey. And the temperature doesn’t even have to be at freezing or below for it to happen.
It’s one thing to see a shiny roadway and know there’s a good possibility of ice. It’s another to see what appears to be a normal, or possibly wet road and not realize that is has black ice until you’re upon it.
Simply put, black ice is a thin layer of ice that forms on roadways and is basically invisible because it takes on the color of the underlying pavement, which is usually black on an asphalt surface. It can form from freezing drizzle, wind-blown snow or freezing condensation. The ice can form even when the temperature is a few degrees above freezing.
So how do you know it’s there? If the roadway appears darker, duller in color, it’s very likely there is black ice present. The obvious sign, of course, is when your tires lose their grip and you slide. You don’t have to be speeding to lose control.
There are some things you can/should do to reduce the possibility of having a problem on black ice:
* First, make sure your seat belt is fastened.
* Drive with your headlights on low beam, even if it’s daytime. This makes your vehicle more visible to those around you.
* Keep a safe distance between your vehicle and those ahead of you.
* Keep your speed down.
* If you come upon a slick spot, take your foot off the gas and don’t slam the brakes. Tap them lightly.
* If you begin to slide, turn the steering wheel the direction you are sliding.
Driving experts also point to these reminders:
* Don’t think you are invincible just because you drive something like a pickup or sport utility vehicle.
*A 4-wheel drive vehicle is great for driving in heavy snow, but you’re on your own on black ice. In fact, the experts say, 4-wheel drive vehicles have no advantage over regular cars when it comes to driving on black ice.
* Make sure your tires have good tread. Worn tires make it much more difficult to drive on black ice. You want plenty of traction between your tires and the road surface.
* Black ice is most commonly found on roads near water (such as lake and rivers), in tunnels and in shady, or rural areas. Bridges and overpasses are also common spots for black ice to form. You probably have seen a sign “Bridge ices before roadway.” That’s because roadways on bridges and overpasses freeze more quickly. Even if you have been cruising down the highway with no problem, an overpass or bridge can be unexpectedly icy.
* And remember that if you have an idea that there may be black ice ahead, downshift to a lower gear before you come to it. The lower gear will force you to drive more slowly and give you better control of your car.
For more information about driving in winter or weather conditions, go to KNOWIT.NEWSOK.COM/SEVERE-WEATHER-OKLAHOMA and check out the resources.
‘The tears of grief speak more eloquently than any other language.’
I invited a very special mom to share her addiction journey with her daughter with you.
It is in the sharing of our struggles and grief that we are all untied and supported in our quest for recovery.
—————–
Grief is universal, yet very uniquely personal. Put into this language, a unique story of loss – loss of a child to addiction even though they continue to live.
“My daughter left out the front door. I ran after her. She got into the car of a young man. I screamed, “Please, please don’t go.” They drove off, and I fell to the floor and wept, and screamed, and wept, and hurt. My heart grieved – again!
Living with a child addicted to drugs is in my personal, humble opinion … one of the most painful things a parent could ever have to do.
You see, I counsel people in their grief journey. But one thing I have recognized is they have a place to move up from and get better. The loss is final. The story of a life is told with joy while the story of the loss is told with grief. Then the story of how they incorporate the loss into a meaningful chapter for their own lives.
What they experience is “healing from moving on or moving forward from the close of a chapter.” I soon realized that my grief is so completely different. My grief is mixed with fear of the future and trauma from the past path of destruction. You see we have loss in both directions.
Addiction can cause a parent to grieve the past and ruminate on what they could have done, should have done, should have known and didn’t do! We question our parenting skills, our sanity, and we question the entire child’s life.
We question what could have been and we grieve. We question the loss of our dreams we held for this child and we grieve. We question the signs and symptoms, and we grieve. We question our mate and those around us who have given up on our child, and we grieve. We question what caused this, and we grieve.
We question what the future might hold and we become fearful – and we grieve. We question how we will handle another relapse – and we grieve. We question what kind of life they will have – and we grieve. Grief seems to run backwards, forwards, and sideways. It is a very different kind of grief.
My grief recovery work began with telling my story to others who understand. It is in the sharing that we find relief. My recovery work also began with me. I had to accept the hard truth that my daughter has a disease and there was nothing I had done then that caused the disease.
I had to accept the hard truth that this disease of addiction will lie, steal, cheat, manipulate and anger me if I don’t stand up to the disease and refuse it’s tentacles to invade my own mental, emotional and spiritual well-ness.
My daughter’s brain is diseased and she will have to manage it for the rest of her life, if she wants to live well. My grief work also begins in the morning where each day I consciously choose to release her to the loving care of my Heavenly Father and trust in Him with her destiny.
I ask for the strength to accept it for just this day. Tomorrow, I begin again. As time moves on … I recognize that healing can and is taking place.
Our grief is loss of the child we once knew, the child who slowly died in our anticipation for dreams to be fulfilled, our grief over loss of what we thought would be, even our grief over the trauma from seeing the path of destruction – all of which can render us paralyzed in the reality of an unknown and unpredictable future.
We grieve the loss of our self. This grief journey can also be a blessing in that we are offered a silent valley to insight. We do draw closer toward a spiritual self as we soon realize how many things in life simply do not matter.
What begins to matter is the compassion we feel to those suffering from this disease and those loved ones trying to find their way out of the grief. We find our humanity – and that to me is “losing self to find one’s self.”
For me, finding that deeper place of spirituality means drawing near to my Jesus and becoming completely dependent on Him instead of becoming closer to the co-dependency of my addicted child. I am blessed to have found my Savior in the midst of unexpressible pain. I am blessed, and I am hopeful … again.”
– Paula Nevius, LPC, LADC
Wisdom from the very best source! (Part 2)
The following is Part 2 of my responses from parents on what they have learned from their experiences with addiction and their child.
“I learned that I can only control how I react to a person, a situation or a comment.”
“I have learned not to engage in arguments with my child. Disengage!”
“I have learned my daughter’s addiction is not my fault.”
“I have learned that a relapse starts well before an addict actually engages in substance abuse.”
“I have learned It is a disease and that is cunning, baffling and powerful. ”
“I have learned It is so much more powerful than I am.”
“I have learned I am powerless over my daughter and her choices.”
“I have learned that powerlessness does not mean helpless or weakness.”
“I learned the more I try to control another person place or thing the less peace I have in my life.”
“I have learned that consequences do not matter to addicts.”
“I learned that my daughter is a sick kid trying to get better and not a bad kid trying to get good.”
“I learned to ask for help.”
“I have learned that 12-step programs work.”
“I learned to trust the process. ”
“I learned to let my son suffer his own consequences.”
“I learned that there is hope.”
What parent’s have learned through their own personal recovery:
“I learned that there is a God and it is not me.”
“I learned that I did the very best I could with what I had … and that was enough.”
“I learned that I love my daughter with all my heart but I have my own life to live.”
“I learned to save myself and let my family watch.”
“To live in the present moment.”
“I learned to be grateful for everything.”
“I learned that there are miracles.”
“I learned that I am worthy of love and have a tremendous capacity to love other people.”
“I learned that prayer is powerful.”
“I learned to experience all there is in this life.”
“I have learned about accepting the things I cannot change and learned to have courage to change the things I can. ”
“I have learned to forgive myself.”
“I learned that fear is selfish.”
“I learned to trust.”
“I learned to laugh again.”
“I learned how to have my head, my heart and my body in the same place at the same time.”
I learned to love this life I am living one day at a time.”
The Pee Yew Patrol
Sometimes, things just stink.
It had been one of those days when nothing seemed to quite come together as I wanted. Surely, you’ve had those too.
Something like …
* An important receipt is missing.
* The checkbook won’t balance.
* You can’t find a key sheet of instructions.
* You have a question, but the person who has the answer isn’t available.
* You forgot something.
Any or all of these — as well as hundreds to thousands more — can add a little stress to your life. In my case, it was several things.
But nearing the end of the work day, I tried to tell myself that it would all be better after a little relaxation at home, followed by a good night’s sleep.
Things were going better. So much so, that after dinner, I did a little reading; called to check on my mom, who hadn’t been feeling well; then turned the TV to the Thunder game and settled in for what I hoped would be an enjoyable finish to the evening.
After a Thunder victory, I got ready for bed. Several position adjustments later, I either found a comfortable one, or I was just too tired to keep up the battle. I finally dozed off.
It was about three hours later that I woke up to the smell of a skunk that was so strong, I could have sworn it was in the house. I knew I hadn’t left any doors or windows open and our house is on a concrete foundation, so there was no opening I could think of where a striped stinker could have gotten in. But the odor was almost sickening.
I did check each room to make sure we didn’t have a “visitor.” No sign of entry — or animal.
It was not the best of sleeping nights, for sure. Even ceiling fans, air spray, or other air fresheners could only slightly lessen the smell. The next morning, the smell was still there, just not quite as strong. But when I left for work, the heaviest odor was in the garage. Luckily, a search found no sign of a skunk. Just the residue.
We’ve had wildlife visitors to our neighborhood before, including in our yard and along our fence. It’s common to see a squirrel, a possum, a rabbit, or domestic animals such as cats and dogs. Only once, however, had I ever SEEN a skunk in our yard. Mostly, it had just been the smell.
I think I may have figured out what occurred, however. We must have had visitors.
We have a family of rabbits that have taken up residence near our storage shed. So isn’t it possible other animals could have checked out the area?
It also could be our friendly neighborhood.
There is a nearby resident who is kind to animals, no matter the variety, particularly putting out food for them.
Her husband told me they had had a problem before when she put out some food for birds. He happened to look out the back window later and saw a full PYP (Pee Yew Patrol) dining on his patio — six skunks, with tails raised.
They, like some other animals who come for feeding, leave unwanted “tips” behind. In this case, a less-than-appreciated fragrance.
After this recent stinky night, it took two days for the smell to leave entirely. I tried to wash everything I could find that might carry the odor, from clothing to windows, counter tops, etc.
It just took time … out of the house.
Learn more about relaxing by going to knowit.newsok.com/mental-health-oklahoma, more about outdoors and wildlife from Ed Godfrey’s blog on knowit.newsok.com/recreation-oklahoma and about pets in knowit.newsok.com/pets-oklahoma.
Click for safety
If you’re going to be out on State Highway 66 on Friday, you might better pay attention. And that’s not just around the Oklahoma City metro area.
Here’s the word from the Oklahoma Highway Patrol:
“Get Your ‘Clicks’ on Route 66” crackdown continues
Eight states to take part in seat belt crackdown Feb. 3
This Friday, law enforcement agencies across eight states will be taking part in an unprecedented “Get Your ‘Clicks’ on Route 66” seat belt crackdown, enforcing seat belt and child passenger safety laws. The quarterly crackdown runs for 24 hours on Friday, Feb. 3.
Highway patrol troopers and state police officers from California, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Missouri, Kansas and Illinois have joined with Oklahoma in enforcing seat belt laws along the famed “Mother Road,” said OHP Lt. Ben Crockett, coordinator for the program.
The Route 66 enforcement effort began in 2010 with a handful of law enforcement agencies in central Oklahoma. The 24-hour mobilizations take place once each quarter along Route 66 and routinely involve multi-state and multi-agency cooperation.
“Fastening your seat belt and making sure your kids are properly buckled up is such an easy thing to do, and it’s the best way to protect yourself in the event of a crash,” Crockett said. “It’s great to have the other states along Route 66 joining us in this important effort to save lives.”
Historic Route 66 runs from Chicago, Ill., to Los Angeles, Calif.
In Oklahoma in 2010, 55.7 percent (267 of 479) of all fatalities in passenger vehicles/pickup truck crashes were people not wearing seat belts.
According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, about 13,000 lives are saved across the country every year by seat belts and child restraints, and motorists are 75 percent less likely to be killed in rollover crashes if they are buckled up.
“We want everyone to buckle up – every trip, every time,” Crockett said. “Whether you’re driving in a city or in an urban area, using your seat belt is one of the best ways to keep yourself safe. And during the Route 66 crackdown, we’ll be reminding people that using a seat belt is not only a smart decision, it’s the law.”
————
For more information about traveling in Oklahoma, go to …
KNOWIT.NEWSOK.COM/TRAVEL-TIPS
See Don Gammill’s Traffic Talk column each Monday in The Oklahoman, on NewsOK and in …
KNOWIT.NEWSOK.COM/EDMOND
KNOWIT.NEWSOK.COM/MIDWEST CITY
KNOWIT.NEWSOK.COM/NORMAN
KNOWIT.NEWSOK.COM/OKLAHOMA-CITY
KNOWIT.NEWSOK.COM/YUKON
KNOWIT.NEWSOK.COM/TRAVEL-TIPS
KNOWIT.NEWSOK.COM/BUYING-A-CAR-OKLAHOMA
Wisdom from the very best source! (Part 1)
I wondered what wisdom might be be gained by asking the question, “What have you learned on your journey with your addicted child?”
I sent that question out to a number of parents who I knew had many years of experience on the journey to recovery.
I was very blessed with a plethora of responses from Mom’s and Dad’s, just like you and me.
“I have learned I am not alone.”
“I can have peace in the midst of my son’s bad decisions and chaotic life.”
“I learned I must be prepared to say “let me think about that.”
“I learned I did not cause the disease of addiction. I made some parenting mistakes but it did not cause the disease.”
“I learned I can move closer to dependency on Christ as I move further from my codependency of the disease.”
“I must be prepared to say, ‘No.’ ”
“I must accept that her thinking will not be in line with mine but that my love for her crosses those differences.”
“I must accept the reality that my daughter will have to manage ‘her’ disease for the rest of her life.”
“I learned that micro-managing my child’s life wasn’t the solution to keeping him away from drugs and alcohol, nor was making sure he associated with the ‘right’ people.”
” I learned that when substance abuse is in the picture, I can literally love my child to death by enabling him.”
“I learned there is a reason that when the oxygen masks come down on the plane, I’m supposed to put on my own before assisting another. I cannot help my child if my own basic needs are unmet.”
“I learned that I cannot always fix things, but regardless of my child’s path, I can love him unconditionally.”
“I learned that it is OK to give myself permission to grieve some of my hopes and dreams I had for my child, and then to move on with Life on its own terms.”
“I learned God knows what my child needs far better than I. Let go!”
“I learned I am grateful for what I have learned and how I have grown by going through these trials!”
“I have learned that my child’s choices are his own, and that I am not responsible for those choices.”
We have a problem here?
Recent news stories:
* A man is charged with second-degree rape, admits having sex with a woman he met while he was working.
* Another man is picked up for driving under the influence.
* A third man is charged with drunken driving after an auto accident.
* A woman is charged with filing a false police report and child endangerment.
You’ve heard these kinds of stories before, you say? Most likely, you have. But there is something a little different with each of these.
The man facing the rape charge was an Oklahoma Highway Patrol trooper who stopped the alleged victim, then drove her home, where the sexual incident occurred. He since has resigned, but still has the legal issues to battle.
The man picked up for driving under the influence is the well known, former president of a noted, religion-based university which his father founded
The third man, who was arrested after the traffic accident and faces a felony drunken driving charge, is a sitting city council member. Whether the incident will cost him his job is unknown at this time.
The woman is an attorney, who claims she was under the influence of crystal methamphetamine and caring for a small child when she reported a home invasion to officers. She is facing action from the Oklahoma Bar Association.
There were other stories, involving individuals not so high profile.
Such as …
* A young couple were found passed out in a car, with the engine running, while sitting in a urine-soaked back seat was a toddler.
* Officers and workers at a health care charity allegedly paid themselves big bonuses while they were in the business of helping others in need.
* Several physicians, who took oaths to doctor those with health issues, were disciplined by the state medical board for their actions, ranging from drug use to drug supplying to poor practices.
In each case, a person or people with a responsibility who acted poorly. In some instances, dangerously.
Whatever their reasoning, they violated rules and standards. Each has a problem they must face.
These are some of the challenges addressed in our “know it” topics, assembled through our multimedia resources.
From knowit.newsok.com/addiction-oklahoma to knowit.newsok.com/mental-health to knowit.newsok.com/religion-faith-oklahoma, knowit.newsok.com/chairty-oklahoma and more, there’s information for you.
Check them out.
