I have written about them for 37 years and truly my hats off to them. Hopefully they will forgive me for this little bit of humor “on the lite side.”

Clubwomen manage to get out of the house more often than business executives who float from one meeting to the other. One of my best friends belongs to this group of Type A’s. Her family hasn’t eaten a meal with her in three years, but they haven’t forgotten her and always keep a light burning in the window.

It’s like an addiction. Once these women become hooked on three-hour committee meetings and chicken-a-la something luncheons and award dinners, there’s no turning back.

Most of the ones I know are officers. I’m sure there are some committee members around but none come to mind right off hand.

If I were pressed to name the most underrated office in a club, I’d have to mention the PROGRAM CHAIRMAN. Here’s a woman who is expected to provide a year’s worth of  entertainment on a $50 stipend from the club’s budget. She has to find speakers who will orate for a box of scented soap and a department store that will stage a free style show for a group of women who think a petite 4 is the name of a rich dessert.

Compared to the PROGRAM CHAIRMAN’S  job, the CHAIRMAN’S duties are…well…a piece of cake. If things get too hectic, she can always slip a leg into a cast for three months and delegate her duties to her CO-CHAIRMAN (whose name may or may not appear in the program.)  

The RECORDING SECRETARY does the best she can, but her job’s tough. She doesn’t take shorthand and everyone in the meeting talks at the same time. Never once has she been able to get the name of anyone seconding a motion – but her handwriting is super neat.

Everyone in the club knows about the TREASURER’S problem except the nominating committee. Just because she always has the correct change for the drink machine does not mean she is good at figures.

This leaves the WAYS AND MEANS CHAIRMAN. Some hapless soul always gets blindsided on this one. She’s the one on the second row happily copying down a new meatloaf recipe some “friend” has slipped her, while the nominations are being made from the floor. It’s a set-up of course, and before she can figure out how to spell sauteed, she’s  been nominated and elected WAYS AND MEANS CHAIRMAN. This poor woman is never the same after a year of money raising projects. She’s been known to stage her own estate sale just to make the numbers break even.

It’s no wonder some of these volunteers suffer burn out, and choose to stay home for a year just to sit and stare at the wall….until, they get a phone call and the same old snake oil spiel gets their adrenaline flowing again, and off they go.( I don’t know what we would do without them.) 

Mary Nichols, Cathy Stackpole, Polly Nichols and Kaylee Eveleigh, age 7, also participated in the campaign announcement party.

Walter and Joanne Wilson and Lyn and Ted Elam also were spotted at the ball.Linda Whittington, Ann Johnstone, Roby Wheelock, Joan Maguire, Megan Gann and Charlotte Richels attend a Girl Scout kickout campaign party.

Elaine Levy, Jim and Jane White, David and Bev Carter and Dee and Penny Replogle also were among the guests at the Winter Ball.

You would think with our high tech society, manufacturers would have figured out by now how to market toys that come fully as sembled, or at least with batteries! Wrong.

But then where would all the drug stores and 7-Elevens be if it weren’t for the frantic parents who dash out at the last minute  to pick up batteries for Ninja Turtles and Phillips head screwdrivers?

I’m not sure whose household inspired the immortal lines “…and all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.”

Get real. Mothers and fathers are up stirring around sometimes as late as 6 a.m. on Christmas morning?

Parents work through the night putting handle bars on bicycles and fumbing through packing paper trying to find the little spring marked “E” that has to be attached to the “A” sprocket of the spoke marked “XY’”.

They are filling Barbie pools with heated water, putting together her hair dryer, waxing Ken’s sports car and assembling swing sets  boxed in 34 parts.

Do the manufactuers not realize there are families who do not own a pair of pliers or a screw driver? That these families use a bread knife to whittle the trunk of a Christmas tree to make it fit into a tree stand?

Just uncrating some of the larger toys is beyond some parents. For starters they can’t figure which end of the carton to rip open. And even when they get that worked out they sometimes have to resort to jumping up and down on top of the boxes or nudging them with the car bumper.

But parents survive all this and more on Christmas Eve, finally falling into bed so they can sleep fast and awaken feeling jolly,  full of good cheer and the magic of Christmas.

So, have a happy one. May all of your wind-up toys work and someone remember to put out the stocking stuffers!

Paul Brown and ball co-chairmen Mindy Brown and Tricia Everest.

The King’s family: Michael and Paige Edwards Frenzel, Susan Edwards and Megan Edwards and Andy Bauml.

Jack DeGiusti, age 9, and Whit Hull, age 10, were court pages.

Carl Eugene Edwards Jr. was named Beaux Arts King at the Beaux Arts Ball Nov. 26 at Oklahoma City Golf & Country Club.

Kathy Walker, Millie Hightower, Sally Lenz and Susan McPherson also participated in the Winter Ball luncheon.

Dylan and Paige Mackey and Steven and Kinsey Everett attend the Kappa Kickoff to support the 2011 Payne Education Center's Premier Card.

Liz Ramirez, Gary Lalli and Mark and Lela Sullivan attend the Dollars for Scholars auction to benefit Harding Charter Prep High School.

Richard Caram and Jamie and Clay Farha also attended.

Jeffrey and Dana Hirsch and Jackie and Jerry Bendort, co-chairmen of the St. Anthony Foundation Saints Ball.

Steve and Karen Mueller, Erin Horton and David Schneider also were among the guests.

Father Rick Stansberry visits with Gwen Poynor, Karen Cartr and Genny Court at Christ the King School's 14th annual auction.

David Flesher, Joan Marron LaRue and Dolly Flesher visit at Joan's private art preview at The Howell Gallery.

Polly Nichols, Joan Frates, Sherri Kite and Sarah Hogan enjoy a luncheon honoring past Winter Ball chairmen.

Paul and Leigh Ann Albers pose with Frank and Bette Jo Hill at the Renaissance Ball patrons party in their newly built home in Nichols Hills.

Gene and Jo Downing and Ruth and Dennis Napier also were among the guests.

Tony Pettigrew and Anita Brenberger holding Keisha at the Pupperfest 2011 Mardi Gras Madness.

Trisha Clark, Rene and DAve Shanks, Gail Tucker and Niki Furrh also partipated in the Homeward Bound Pug Rescue and Adoption fundraiser.

Susan Chambers and Susan Turpen chaired Lyric's Broadway Ball.

James and Cindy Lankford, Canty Hines and Tony Kennedy attend the Hope Pregancy Centers Banquet “Hands of Hope.”

Mike Grady, Jose Freede and Bil Rogers pose at a retirement party for Bill Rogers, executive director of the North Side YMCA.l

Cindy Reilley, Kris Taylor, Sue Ann Hamm and Elaine Jackson attend he Fashion for a Passion evening to benefit Hearts for Hearing.

Jeanie Butts, Terrie Hubbard and Jane Webb also attended.

Ellen Jayne Wheeler, LaDonna Meinders, Jean McCown and Emogene Collins enjoy the Oklahoma City Orchestra League Sunset Boat Cruise and Dinner fundraiser.

Rhona White, Jess White, Debbie and Ken McKinney also numbered among the sailors.

Karrie Oerti, actor Rob Lowe and Donna and Bruce Lawrence pose at the “An Evening With Rob Lowe” sponsored by Integris Women’s Health Forum.

Guy and Caroline Patton and Tina and Elby Beal were among the guests t the ball.

Glen Gentele, Shannon Fitzgerald, Marjan Seirafi-Paur and Jerome Holmes were among the attendees.

Frank and Bettye Jo Hill, Gene Rainbolt and Cynda and Larry Ottaway party at the Renissance Ball.