What you want to bet Santa Claus has been snoozing all day, catching up after his allnighter. But not Mrs. Claus, she’s still cleaning up the soot he tracked in all over the house when he got in last night. And if it hadn’t been for her keeping everything organized and his sled runners sharpened, he never would have gotten off the ground.
Here is a woman stuck at the North Pole with all those little elves underfoot and a husband who never takes her anyplace. Not only does she have to keep him in clean red underwear and on schedule, she has to find time to clean up after his pesky reindeer.
Keeping the elves whipped into shape and on time is no fun either. “All right you little guys knock off the whistling and start matching those digital chips to the correct toys. If you run out of batteries, wing it. I don’t want to hear about the lost assembly instructions for the tricycles again, just use the extra ones from the gym sets, it’s time to load the sled!”
Once Santa gets it all together and finally takes off, keeping him on course is a whole new ball game. The man leaves home with a GPS on his sled and an iPhone in his pocket but that doesn’t mean he won’t get lost. The reindeer aren’t all that reliable. For one thing she has to remind him to keep a sharp eye on Dasher. The year he (Dasher) spotted a a cute female reindeer Santa and the sled ended upside down in a petting zoo and before they could get back on track a giraffe had eaten half the presents. Every year he forgots to separate Blitzen and Rudolph and Blitzen is a bully and just waiting to punch Rudolphs red nose out.
It’s no wonder the woman is exhausted the day after. And ticked too. Santa knows perfectly well she doesn’t eat fruitcake or cookies with nuts. All she asks is that he bring home one little doggie bag with something she likes. And…his tic is worse. She’s warned him over and over, “…leave off that twinkling eye thing.” But does he listen to her, oh no.
Just wait until he wakes up. She’s sending him up on the roof to dig them out, she hasn’t seen daylight in three months.
Hello, hope you are as frantic as I am about the holidays and everything you still have left to do. (misery loves company)
If you are not in the spirit yet, you might pick up a little inspiration from a sight I saw this morning on Lake Hefner Parkway. A pickup truck who was being revived up with amplification, if you get my drift, had a full size white trimmed tree standing up in the back, long icicles hanging from the running board on each side and a cluster of large silver bells tied underneath on his axle.
Then there was the couple shopping in the children’s department. The man was holding up a baby’s pajama suit across his chest with “I’m adorable” printed on it, while the woman took his picture. I figure it was next year’s Christmas card or a picture to go on their annual Christmas letter to their friends.
Ho! Ho! Ho!