RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN

I feel like Goldilocks when it comes to buying running shoes. (Not that I run, more like  a heavy breathing walk) Either the shoes don’t have enough support or they are too heavy, wrong color, shoe strings too long…you get the picture. Which, brings up the subject of joggers.

Joggers talk a better game than anyone I know. They’re forever running on (no pun intended) about skinny shanks, muscle bound calves or feelings of  euphoria. (I’m not sure about that last one but I think it’s something like hyperventilating when you’re crossing against the traffic at a busy intersection.)

If you live anywhere in the city you’re bound to see them running by. In fact the only place I haven’e seen runners is on an interstate and that’s because the semi’s have sucked them all up under the fenders.

Psychologists who have made a study of compulsive jogging have concluded that joggers are really running away from something. You would think they could come up with a better one than that. Even an airhead knows joggers are running back to the same spot they started from. In any event, it beats me how they manage to conceal the “loping high” that lifts them up to another realm apart from the rest of us. Certainly their faces don’t give anything away. The joggers I see look like they are trying to outrun their shoes because of foot pain.

The runners in my neighborhood can hardly be classified as Class A Joggers. They’re more your basic Class C One-Block Sprinters or Fast Sauntering Beginners. 

At best they look like a bunch just getting to the finish line two days after a marathon run is over. 

Never once have I lost my cool and yelled “have a good day”. Somehow it just doesn’t seem appropriate.

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