Personally I Like Jack Spratt’s Wife
Hello, glad you stopped by. Let’s talk dieting.
Everytime you pick up a magazine the slick-looking picture on the front is always the same. A bone-thin woman consumed by happiness because she just dropped fifty pounds and can no longer fit into a pair of pants that would hold a small village.
Get real. I’ve never met such a woman. The women I know aren’t into ACTUALLY losing pounds, they’re just “toning up” so their panty hose won’t constrict. They could care less who starves on Jenny Craig’s diet to get back into a string bikini after 20 years of sitting on the beach in a coverup.
We all know these women eventually gain it back. Besides, who wants to wear a bikini when you’re 75? It’s not likely anyone’s going to ask you to a pool party.
It wouldn’t be so bad if dieters would just go ahead and do their thing and not have to share it with everybody. Women are either talking about the diet they have just been on, the one they are suffering through, or one they are going to start next week. Which simply means. They lost five pounds on their last diet, rewarded themselves by overeating and gained back the pounds they lost and now are looking for a diet to help them take off the extra ten pounds they gained back. (you might want to read that last sentence again )
Which makes me wonder. Has anyone ever conducted a survey to determine just what size women men prefer?
It could be that all the hype directed toward thunder thighs, Jack Spratt’s wife, and nice little rounded mothers of three, is totally wasted.
Nowhere is it written that thin women are sexy.
Men would do well to read the dieting ads themselves. As macho as they all are, (the men not the ads) potbellied men who suffer from ingrowing waist bands are not a pretty sight and their swimsuits could get them arrested for indecent exposure.
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Moving on to some tidbits from The Social Scene, my Sunday column.
United Way Donors Party
Susan and Carl Edwards, Nancy and Bob Ellis and Ed Martin attend a United Way Top Donors Celebration at Coles Garden. The invitation-only reception honored United Way donors who contributed $500 and more in 2008. Guests were invited to wear black and white attire and the black and white theme also was reflected on the menu.
Close to 400 guests attended.
Continuing on a monetary note, a recent two-day fundraiser “A Vintage Affair,” which was truly a fine wine tasting experience both evenings, raised close to $160,000 for the Chilren’s Hospital Foundation and Oklahoma Health Center Foundation.
Closet Life Of A Coat Hanger
On the subject of coat hangers, or the lack thereof…
My neighbor is forever complaining about her coat hangers prolificating and how much trouble it is to keep throwing the extra ones away. (And I thought the only swinging place for hangers was at the dry cleaners!)She even admitted to slipping up on her hangers to catch them in the act, but after putting the closet door back on the runner the third time, her husband unscrewed the light bulb.
Duh. I never suspected the few in my closet of doing anything more than stealing a belt or two off my better dresses or indulging in a little mothball sniffing. Just goes to show. But, then, why should I? Every time I open the closet door I see the same old tired group hanging there with the empties sulking in the corner or hiding between the dresses.
Old age could have something to do with it (theirs, not mine). Some of my hangers sag so badly they can’t even hold their pants up anymore. Others have clothes hanging on them completely unbuttoned, shoulders stretched out and their paper ripped off.
A few toward the back of the closet look as if they might have attempted something but nothing worked out. (An aborted orgy? Naw..) They’ve been frozen in the same position, hanging upside down, interlocked with each other, for as long as I can remember.
I tried livening things up with a little stimulus. Soft music, clinging sensuous fabrics – I even hung one of my suitcase hangers in with the group. It was clean, flexible, well-traveled, but nothing happened.
Now that I know what’s NOT going on in my closet I try and keep it hidden.
But people are talking. Why else would I offer two hangers for six coats when guests come over?
