CELL PHONE-ITIS

Hello! Thanks for stopping by for a little fun read.

Forget the body piercings, tattoos and spiky hair dos.  It’s the cell phones that are driving me crazy. You know, the appendages growing out of everyone’s ears that come in psychedelic colors and glow in the dark.

I’m surprised we don’t see more cell phone rage.  Like the passengers on an airline who grabbed a man’s cell phone and took turns stomping it to death.

The last time I missed a flight and had to take up temporary residence in a terminal, I sat next to one of these obsessive cell talkers who was graphically explaining how a truckload of cow manure was delayed and had gotten too warm sitting in the sun.  I wanted to reach over and jerk his ear plug out and lace the cord through the eyes of his shoe.

Some of these electronic compulsives are so out of control they no longer live in the real world.  I, for one, don’t believe some of these nerds actually have someone on the other end of the line. Think about it, how many friends can they have? Their phone activity is non stop and they  don’t even take time to change clothes. 

Just the other day I spotted a window washer twelve stories up holding a cell phone to his ear.  Okay,  I had binoculars, but I saw him.

Some of the worst offenders hang out in restaurants. The wife is on the phone telling someone about a shoe sale while her husband just sits there like a dummy waiting on the food to be served.

Then there are the cell shouters.  All their friends have a hearing problem.  If you’re seated next to one you might as well ask to be moved to another table because it doesn’t get any better.

Rest rooms are no longer private either.  There is nothing more embarrassing than answering someone in the next stall before you realize they’re not talking to you – they’re talking on the phone!  Admit it. You’ve answered at least one of  ‘em.

Grocery shoppers are the pathetic ones.  Men no longer trust their grocery lists.  You see them on the phone as they wander down the aisles calling out the brand names on all the cans.  By the time they reach the cantaloupes their insecurity kicks into overdirve.  Their spouses try to step them through the squeeze,  smell routine but they don’t have a clue what a fresh one looks like.  So they move on to the mangos and go through the whole routine again.

Drivers have to be the most annoying.  If you’re stopped behind one of these compulsive talkers at a stop light,  you can count on sitting through at least three light changes before the driver looks up and notices the light has turned green.

Surely there is a way to stop this onslaught of  phone verbiage.

  The media could  put the word out that cell phones cause male baldness. 

 As for the women,  CELLULITE  would be a good buzz word.

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Last week was a busy one for fund raising events. Early figures indicate they were successful, which goes to prove Oklahoma City’s philanthropy is alive and well.

Here are a couple of examples:

Oklahoma City Beautiful’s 26th Distnguished Service Awards Luncheon netted approximately $45,000. The event recognizes those in the community that help make Oklahoma City beautiful through various types of beautification and community improvement projects.

 

The First Ladies Gala benefit for the Oklahoma Medical Research Foundation raised a net total of  approximately $230.000.

First Ladies Kim Henry, Cathy Keating, Rhonda Walters, Donna Nigh, Molly Boren and Ann Bartlett hosted the black-tie event at the National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum.

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