JOEL DAVID NewsOK.com Blogging Community

It’s time to update the blog no one but myself and all of my very boring personalities read!

The roast went great. This, despite the efforts of a former co-worker’s attempt to sabotage it. You would think if someone works for the phone company they would understand calls can be traced. Especially thinly veiled calls of a harassing nature made to a business owned by close, personal, friends of mine. I guess when one is fueled by bitterness, common sense flys out the window.

Here are some of the jokes my friends said about me. These are among the few I can actually reprint here. It was pretty filthy. My friend Chris even wrote The Joel Song. It was awesome. Anyway. Here’s some of the jokes.

“Joel looks like Grimace with AIDS.”

“I see your face is sunburnt. Way to NOT bring attention to your giant head. It looks like the Kool Aid Man is sitting on your shoulders.”

“Joel is the only person I know who could live in a —— and still never have —.”

That last one was pretty dirty but really funny. It really meant a lot to me the owners of the Loony Bin did that for me. The wait staff donated their tips and pay to me. The comedians performed for free. It really has been a hard time recently with the job, my illness and my grandma dying, but that night more than made up for it. I have a lot of incredible friends and I hope one day I’m able to do for someone what has been for me. It was one of the best nights of my life.

I would like to thank Terry and Larry, the owners of the Loony Bin. Spencer Hicks, Seth Jospeh, Chris Dowell, Kyle Kubiak and Jacob Dyck. I would also like to give a special thanks to Brad Chad Porter for putting the show together and Jason Black for hosting. These are some of my dearest friends and I can’t thank them enough for their kindness and understanding and willingness to help me out. Thank you all.

They raised enough money so I was able to pay for COBRA thus covering me from the day I got fired until the end of July. How I’ll get the $575.00 to cover me in August, or every other month beyond that is beyond me, but hopefully I’ll figure something out.

Yesterday was surgery 30. That’s not good or pleasant. At all. Trust me on this. During my 30th surgery, I apparently remarked to my doctor he looked like M. Night Shyamalan. I don’t remember doing that. Why can’t I do something cool instead of amusing while under sedation? Something along the lines of hitting on a nurse. The staff at the place I have surgery is none too shabby when it comes to the looks department. Of course, in a place chock full of attractive women, I am at my least attractive. Yes, it’s possible to be even LESS attractive than I already am. It’s probably the hairnet and gown made of paper that makes it so. Also, lying on your stomach while someone straps you to an operating table doesn’t help.

Not much going on here other than a lot of bleeding and worrying about money. Good times. Not really.

I went to CA for my grandma’s funeral, which was a rough experience. However, it was nice to be somewhere and not hear a racial slur or homophobia coming out of some redneck’s mouth. You don’t notice how rampant things like that are here until you don’t hear any of it for a week. “What’s missing? Oh yes. Ignorance and racism.”  I’m not saying there’s not homophobic or racist people in CA, it’s just not as prevalent. Maybe it’s because I didn’t understand any of it because everyone speaks Spanish there. SHA BOING! Not really. Did I mention I love CA? Everyone is so laid back and the air, despite rumors to the contrary, is pretty nice. Being near the ocean helps with that. Aside from the funeral and some familial issues, it was an ok trip. I don’t recommend going if you have to go to a funeral though. It’s so sad.

When my family and I were out there, we were going through piles of old photos for a DVD my brother was putting together to play during the reception after the funeral. It was really a sad experience but an oddly uplifting one. I just sat there wondering about the day someone will be going through piles of pictures and talking about me. I want my friends and family to remember a guy who was funny and nice and cared about people. Ok. Getting too sentimental. Must stop.

Also, and this is just a side note, I saw a lot of giant crosses on the drive out there.  These white crosses are paid for by a gentleman who uses his own money. $25,000.00 a pop per cross. Because if Christ had $25k he’d spend it on a giant version commemorating the most painful day of his life with total disregard for those in need. Thanks crazy old man with an expendable income which allows for a giant cross budget.

We’re getting a basketball team! I say we call it the Thunderbirds. The silliest comment I’ve seen is this. It was posted on one of the newsok.com message boards.

“ I think the new team name should be Oklahoma City Stars and their colors be red, white & blue.”

I wish Toby Keith would stop posting things like that.

I’m not a fan of Toby. I think we all know that. However, Toby is a lifelong Democrat which means we may be on the same side this election year. If Barack can bring together Toby Keith and myself, he’s already off to a good start.

RIGHT NOW

MOVIE - Wall-E. Brilliant. I have a knack for loving all Pixar movies. Cars was probably my least favorite, but it was still good. It was ten times better than any movie with the word ‘Shrek’ in the title.

SONG - Wall-E - I know it’s not a song but the movie was so good it managed to overshadow a song pick.

- Joel

Things have been rough lately. I’ve been ill, I lost my job and my grandma died. On the plus side I have awesome friends. So awesome in fact they’ve planned a roast for me. This is basically a night of comedy at my expense. If you hate me, show up. If you love me show up. Either way it’s going to be a fun night and I’m humbled by the effort.

In addition, we bring to Oklahoma City your favorite established stars as seen on: HBO, Showtime, Comedy Central, TNN, MTV, VH1, and A&E’s An Evening at the Improv.

Never in my life have I felt such optimism and had as much confidence in a politician as I do in Barack Obama. This may be the result of being young and optimistic but I believe this country is in a state of disarray and the only way to make it as great as I believe it can be is to put aside petty disagreements and do what is right for the country, ourselves and the world. When it comes down to it no one is really concerned with gay marriage or who wears a flag pin. What we are concerned about is the lives being sacrificed in Iraq or how we’re going to take care of our families. These issues are not Republican or Democrat, conservative or liberal, straight or gay, black or white. These problems are human problems everyone faces one time or another. I truly believe Senator Obama can help bring this country to a point where we can focus on what’s important and not useless and pointless arguments among Americans.

Anyway. I like Barack. There. That’s enough.

- Joel

It’s been awhile since I’ve written. My grandma passed away. I know that’s not the most uplifting thing to read so I figured I’d just hit you with it now.

I’m not one who is fond of death. I know no one really is but I just tend to shut down when it happens. My grandpa. My dad. My grandma. I either get really upset (grandpa-grandma) or shut down (dad). I’m not sure what that says about how I feel about my dad, so we’ll just leave it alone.

Whenever someone asks me how old my grandma was and I tell them she was 94 they kind of react as though it’s expected. She didn’t die from old age. She died because someone didn’t take care of her the way she deserved. That’s a fact her doctors can attest to. She was of sound mind for someone who was 94 but just because one is old doesn’t mean they were ready. First step of grief? Denial. I know.

I was thinking about all she’d seen in her 94 years. She had a damn good run. I get it. It doesn’t take away from the pain my mom feels. I lost my last grandparent but she lost a mom. That’s got to be one of the hardest things in the world to go through.

So what does my grandmother’s death mean to you? Not much, mostly because you didn’t know her, and that’s ok. We all go through it and I’m dealing with it as best I know how.

So tomorrow I’m off to CA. It’s been years since I’ve been back. It’ll be interesting to see how this goes. I really wanted to go back but not under these circumstances.

So yeah. That’s what I’ve been up to. I really don’t want to talk about it much anymore right now. I just thought I’d let anyone who reads this know what’s going on.

- Joel

My dear friend Matthew Alvin Brown made a movie. It’s called Rainbow Around the Sun and it is an amazing rock opera made right here in Oklahoma. The film is the kick off film for the upcoming Dead Center Film Festival. I have seen it and it is incredible. I’ve listened to the album of the same name at least fifty times all the way through. The album is a well crafted diverse audio journey unlike any rock album I’ve heard.

On Saturday May 17th at Lyric at the Plaza in OKC at 7pm Matthew Alvin Brown, rock group The Fellowship Students and the cast of the film will perform a live reading of an incarnation of the film written by writer/director Kevin Ely and Matthew Brown. This performance is a one night only special event featuring the original cast as well as performances of the songs from the soundtrack. This promises to be a wonderful night of music from a wonderful movie by wonderful people.

How much does an event like this cost a human being? Nothing. All you need to do is call 405 524-9312 and reserve your tickets. Donations will be accepted. Come out for this very special, one night only performance. Meet the cast. Have them autograph stuff. Most importantly you’d be supporting a local production and having more fun than one should have on a Saturday night. When’s the last time the cast of any movie put on a show for you? Never?! Well now they have.

Don’t ever tell me there’s nothing to do in OKC again. Besides, I’ll be there and what more do you need?

405 524-9312

May 17th

7:00pm

I’ll see you there.

- Joel

You would think I’d update this more what with all my recently gained free time. I’ve no excuse other than I’ve been sitting around bleeding and trying to get unemployment.

So what is my situation now? Seeing as how I’ve got no one asking, I’ll tell you.

I had surgery March 28th then again on April 4th then again on April 29th. That makes for a total of 28 surgeries. It also marks the end of surgeries I’ll be having because I no longer have benefits. See, the company I worked for, for over 14 years, let me go because I violated their attendance policy. This was my fault only because I was sick with the same condition every time I did miss work. On more than one occasion I went to work having had surgery two days prior, against doctor’s wishes, to save my job. It didn’t work. What’s the lesson America? Don’t get sick or you could lose your job and the much needed health benefits that are keeping you alive. This is by far the most stressed I have ever been in my life.

I can’t get unemployment because the company is claiming it was misconduct as I “blatantly disregarded company policy”. Apparently that’s a policy that doesn’t take into effect one’s getting ill with a disease that kills more people than AIDS in this country since 2004. A disease had it reached my blood, lungs or heart would have killed me within ninety days. The worst part about this is it is making those I care about worry, and that bothers me. I know I’ve got family and friends who love me dearly, but I don’t like to be the one causing them any grief.

The day of my 28th surgery my mom and I went to the grocery store after we left the surgery center. I had to get some groceries and it’s usually best to do so before the drugs wear off and you can’t walk. We were walking down an aisle and my mom stopped and started crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said, “Your situation makes me so sad. I wish there was something I could do. It’s not fair what’s been done to you just because you’re sick.” That’s not right. I love my mom dearly and for her to be that effected by a situation I have no control over is heart wrenching.

I took a step back and really looked at the situation objectively. I worked for a company for over 14 years. I got sick, had 28 surgeries and tried my hardest to be at work even while sick. I took risks with my health just to save my job and it still wasn’t enough. I know things like this happen all the time but I never thought it would happen to me. I’m being punished for being sick. Plain and simple. I don’t understand what kind of people would have no problem terminating someone who so desperately needs health care with no thought into what taking those benefits and income away from someone may have. I have cried more over the past few weeks than I ever thought possible. I’m not pitying myself, I’m just not sure how it got to this point.

Thankfully the world is full of kind people. A woman named Misty, whom I’ve never even met took it upon herself to collect some money for me. It is humbling when someone you’ve never met takes it upon themselves to help out someone they don’t even know. I’m so gracious for that act of kindness from her and the people who helped her.

I don’t like being in the position where I’ve got nothing. I don’t like being in a position where I so desperately need financial help. However, if you think you want to help, I’m not going to stop you. Feel free to contact me at joeldavidd@gmail.com if you want to help a guy who could really use it.

Because I’ve got nothing to give right now, I’m going to post a charity each time I write a post that could use help too. Today it’s Operation Helmet. This charity provides much needed helmet upgrades for our soldiers overseas. Taking a cue from a post on their site, I suggest that anyone who gets a tax rebate check donate that money. Instead of jump starting the economy so corporations can get richer, why not make someone’s life better, or even possibly save their life? Donate to a worthwhile cause that provides much needed protection to our men and women in the military.

That’s all I’ve got. Someday I’ll be back with the semi-witty banter the three of you who read this have come to love and expect from me.

Peace.

- Joel

Aside from having numerous surgeries, finding out my grandma only has a couple of weeks to live and getting suspended without pay from my job because I was sick, I found out I have MRSA again. For those of you not familiar with MRSA, click here. It’s a super bad staph infection. A staph infection, if it reaches my blood, lungs or heart, will kill me within a matter of months. Yeah. I’d say that’s bad.

I took a picture of a car I made out of Zyvox, pills that treat MRSA, because the cost of those pills is more than most used cars. The cost for Zyvox? $97.00 per pill. That comes to $5,820.00 for pills. While I’ve been suspended from my job, I guess they, thankfully, have not suspended my benefits. This is only a one month supply, and I’m supposed to get a refill in a month. If there is no resolution with my job between then and now, I’m not sure what I’ll do.

I am not into playing the victim. I don’t like asking for help. I’m not that guy. However, I think all I’m going through right now is enough for me to make an exception in casting myself as the role of victim in the movie of my life for the last couple of weeks. If anyone out there wants to tell my story, send this link around. People need to know that corporations are treating people like me in a way I not only don’t deserve but in a way that is harming me physically and mentally. I’ve had 27 surgeries, have MRSA, again, and am spending a good amount of time wondering how to pay for bills. I’m not sure how people do it.

Once this is all said and done I’m going to do all I can to help those in need. People who have medical problems they have no control over and make sure these people aren’t hung out to dry by multi-billion dollar corporations. I never thought I’d be in the position I am, yet here I am.

Thanks for reading.

- Joel

I decided to start a series called “Joel’s Concert Adventures” which is just a flashy way to say I had to write about something other than my pending financial destruction at the hands of AT&T all because I’m sick.

Let’s start with the first concert I went to in my life. Wait. That’s no good because the first concert I went to was Carmen at the Myriad. Carmen is a Christian music singer. I remember the concert was free but the entire second half of the show was him pleading with the capacity crowd for money as the venue cost so much and they didn’t charge admission. I remember thinking at the time what a sham that was. Book a venue, perform, then beg for money from people who came to see a show you put on for free. Carmen was like a street performer and the Myriad was his empty guitar case/change receptacle. That concert was ok but not one I count. Or one I paid for.

The first concert I paid to go to was Cake at the Diamond Ballroom. The Cake show was like many endeavors in my life where I’m excited, I try to get a group of people to go, and then only one person shows aside from me. This time it was my friend Travis.

Travis and I made our way into the Diamond. I had never been there, and haven’t been back since, but I have a feeling the hillbilly sheik decor hasn’t changed. The walls were adorned with neon beer signs and pictures of country music greats. I thought it a strange venue for Cake to be playing, but since they were one of my favorite bands, it didn’t matter.

The crowd wasn’t made up of the type of people I expected to see at a Cake show. There were a lot of industrial goth looking fools walking around displaying their disdain for everything by way of mascara and fishnet stockings on their arms. The kind of people who think it hip to wear knee high combat boots and kilts in an attempt to show diversity in a room full of other people dressed exactly the same way. People who are apparently unaware they can shop places other than Hot Topic. People who probably didn’t listen to Cake.

We were about 150 feet from the stage for the entire show, which was good once Cake hit the stage, but a bad spot to be in for the first two bands. The opening band was like a Phish knock off. They played horrible hippy music which enraged the crowd more than I thought possible. Turns out the crowd wasn’t just enraged over being ear pummeled by hippy music, they were amped to see the band that followed Captain Hippy and the Stink Tones. That wasn’t their name but since I can’t remember it, I picked a name that fit. The crowd was so angry they began throwing loose change and beer caps at the hippy band. They were awful but not awful enough to assault them with change. That’s a waste of change. And beer bottle caps.

Captain Hippy cut the set short and the crowd was ecstatic. Then it happened. The band everyone had been waiting for took the stage. Not Cake, but Silver Death Stab or some such industrial nonsensical name. They came out and sounded like Nine Inch Nail’s and Live’s untalented bastard child. The lead singer sang most of his set through a megaphone into the microphone which made him sound like he was singing into a vase. The crowd loved it. They started a mosh pit at the front of the stage. At a Cake show.

The band played for what seemed like eleven hours. A good portion of the crowd left after the industrial debacle. Travis and I pushed our way a little closer to the stage. I looked next to me and there was a seven ft. tall guy who had two round patches of hair where one’s horns might be if one were the devil. I’m not sure the look he was going for but if it was to look exactly like Barf from Spaceballs, he accomplished it with flying colors. I was intimidated by Barf because I thought for sure he’d be one of the mosh industrial types guys. Weird haircut, dark clothes. He looked down at me as people dressed like Marilyn Manson made their way past us to leave and said, “Man I’m so glad they’re leaving. That last band sucked” Wow. Something about judging books and covers crossed my mind.

Travis, Barf and I waited for about ten minutes as the crowd thinned and then Cake took the stage. The remaining crowd was really happy to see them. They got halfway through their second song when some dope towards the front decided he was going to continue moshing. Every concert has that guy. He’s usually sweaty, shirtless, hasn’t had a haircut in years and is running in a circle with his head down trying to get a mosh pit going. At a Cake show no less. As oft is the case, if you run into people long enough, someone is going to shove back and that’s exactly what happened. Johnny Mosh Pit got clocked by some dude in the crowd. This caused a chain reaction and a mosh pit/malay broke out. Cake finished their song and the lead singer said, “We consider ourselves an “easy listening” band so cut out this mosh pit sh-t you f—–g idiot.” That made Johnny Mosh Pit sulk away and out the door to thunderous applause .

The rest of the show was great after that. They played songs from Motorcade of Generosity and Fashion Nugget, which had just come out. They played for a little over an hour then finished their set. They didn’t play their big hit “The Distance” and Barf was pissed. “Man I paid twelve bucks to see them and they didn’t even play my favorite song!” I remarked that’s the same amount of money the CD cost and he could listen to the song thousands of times for the same price. This did not please Barf. Thankfully Cake took the stage for an encore and belted out an incredible version of Barf’s favorite song.

During their encore some dumb girl decided to crowd surf. Having had my fill of concert shenanigans I was not going to further her crowd surfing quest. She slowly made her way towards me way across a sea of upward reaching hands attached to people more willing than I to participate in moron hoisting. I looked up at Barf to see if he would catch her. He nodded so I thought he had it. As she made her way closer I took a step back so Barf and Travis could hold her up. Turns out Travis wasn’t paying attention and Barf had taken a step back too. This poor girl fell to the ground landing with a sound I can only describe as comically bone cracking. She was so drunk, she stood up, looked at Barf and said, “I want to go again!” Barf then picked this woman up and tossed her a good twenty feet back into the middle of the crowd, where she once again met with concrete. I was concerned until I saw her pop back up and jump up and down to the music. How she didn’t have bones shoved out of her skin is beyond me.

Once the show was over Travis and I made our way outside. I wanted autographs. I had brought covers to both of their albums they’d released at the time. There was a group of about thirty people hanging out near the tour bus. A security guy came outside and said there would be no autographs and told us to leave. Ever determined to get celebrities to mark on paper, I hung out.

At one point one of the members of the horrible industrial band came up to the tour bus door and knocked. The lead singer from Cake opened the door. Not Trent Reznor said, “Hey man. What’d you think of the smoke?” “Uh. Oh yeah. It was good. F—ing great man.” “Well cool. Did you have the money or..?” “Oh yeah. Yeah. Hang on.” He didn’t even invite not Trent onto the bus. I have to say that is my first recollection of seeing a drug deal. Rock n’ roll y’all.

I ended up getting the trumpet player, the bass player and the lead singer’s autograph. It was a great show and probably the best St. Patrick’s day of my life.

Chuck Klosterman I am not.

RIGHT NOW

SONG - Guns & Roses by Jay-Z and Lenny Kravitz - This song samples Cake’s Arco Arena. You can check it out here if you want.

MOVIE - Sunshine - This movie was a solid piece of science fiction good times. I’m not sure why it didn’t do better in theaters.

- Joel

The official reason I’m currently not receiving any compensation whatsoever, despite my being qualified for it is this….

The Company has suspended you for poor attendance and for not reporting to work as scheduled, all of which occurred while you were on a decision making leave for poor attendance.

Yes. Poor attendance due to the fact I’ve been sick. It’s all part of my plan. The plan? Contract a disease, have 27 painful surgeries, disfiguring scarring, risk losing my job, get suspended from that job so I’ve got no money, all to get out of work. Brilliant.

The gross picture? This is the incision made two weeks ago on my neck. This is comparatively small to the other three on my body right now. I have pretty severe scarring, as is evident by the three scars near this wound.This was taken today. It’s about an inch wide.

All part of the plan.

- Joel

So here’s how this works.

I have worked for AT&T for 14 years. I have not really enjoyed any part of it. At all. That being said, the paycheck is nice and the benefits are good.

I had my 27th surgery Friday, April 4th, for a condition I’ve had since August of 2006. Same condition. I’ve had to file for short term disability twice. The second time, since all of my FMLA was used up, I was told I would be “let go” if I had to go out for surgery again. I’ve had surgery over four times this year and prior to last Friday’s, I’ve used my vacation time and against doctor’s wishes, gone into work despite the open, draining, and painful wounds. Since this last Friday was my second surgery in a week I filed for short term disability, which I am eligible for.

Or so I thought.

I received a certified letter in the mail advising me I was on suspension, with no reason given. I thought it was perhaps a formality. Today I receive a phone call advising me I will not be receiving short term disability benefits as I am on suspension. This means, at the moment, I have no income, because I went out for surgery for a condition I’ve had for two years.

Thanks AT&T.

Keep in mind the bills keep coming, I’ve got no savings and nothing to fall back on. That job was my financial lifeline, no matter how much I hated it, and now it’s gone because I had surgery. Sure it’s because I violated the attendance policy, but I had no choice.

Why am I writing this? Well, because maybe someone will listen. Maybe someone will realize it’s wrong to persecute someone who has a medical condition they have no control over. Maybe someone will help me out somehow. I don’t know.

It’s incredible what’s happening to me. Not incredible in a good way either. I don’t what I’m going to do. This is probably the best thing to happen to me in the long term, but right now?

I’m at a loss. Nothing a $20k loan and a job wouldn’t fix.

- Joel