JOEL DAVID NewsOK.com Blogging Community

This post has nothing to do with singles in your area. Sorry desperately lonely folks. I’m just trying to get more Google search hits. I’m manipulating the system in an attempt to get people to read what I write. Perhaps it would help if I wrote more often and didn’t spend so much time holding a sign at intersections asking people for money. I saw a one armed man holding a sign asking for money the other day. That’s commitment to your career. The man lobbed his arm off for sympathy. That’s commendable.

I’m still unemployed because I got fired for being sick. They tried to tell me I got fired because I told someone I wanted to get fired. This of course is not taking into consideration I was told I was fired for being sick. Six times. Brilliant. They claim I somehow manipulated my physical well being in an attempt to lose my job. I guess the joke is on me because I have to have surgery again tomorrow. Number 31. But I’ve already been fired. Wow. I’m a fool!

I think the Dark Knight’s reign over the box office will come to an end this weekend. A movie of epic comedic proportions comes out Friday. Tropic Thunder? Nope. Beer For My Horses, the Toby Keith comedy. You read that right. I am excited about his new movie coming out. It should be “great”. What I love about this movie is a large part of it takes place in Oklahoma. How do I know this without having seen the movie? I have a signed shooting script from the film. Signed by the man himself. It’s on my autograph wall. He’s in good company what with Bill Clinton, The Flaming Lips and Matthew Brown keeping him company. I’m pretty sure they’re all Toby fans. It’s odd. After I hung it on my wall all of my dreams were in red white and blue and involved my being angry at the Dixie Chicks for no reason and drinking gravy. Weird.

Despite having seen the trailer, surprisingly the script is more than three pages long. I thought the Toby Keith penned script would read like this…

NON-FORD TRUCKS BLOW UP.
I MAKE OUT WITH PRETTY LADY.
I ELBOW MEXICANS IN THE FACE.
THE END.

Nope. It’s much longer and less funny than I had imagined. I also love how a movie that sort of takes place in Oklahoma wasn’t even shot here. Not one scene. Way to keep it real TK. Hey, at least his restaurant has awesome quesadillas. I don’t know this from experience, but rather my friend Spence touts the quality of Toby’s quesadillas whenever he gets the chance. It’s kind of sad. It’s like when friends gather and discuss what a horrible girl you’re dating and the only thing you can say is, “Well her quesadillas are good! Sure she’s a racist, pandering megalomaniac who markets patriotism for personal gain, but her quesadillas are delicious! Leave me alone!” I’m surprised they’re called quesadillas at his restaurant. I thought they’d be called something like “Immigrant Flapjack Melts” or something. Hey, freedom fries are still on the menu, so don’t think it’s out of the question.

If a movie about drunk horses isn’t enough to get the ol’ blood boiling, the fine folks at The Lost Ogle posted this little nugget of goodness. I highly suggest you give it a listen. After these statements, Toby pretty much killed his black audience for Beer For My Horses.

Moving on.

Let’s go ahead and address some of the dumb things I’ve heard in the past few weeks. Here are the statements in no particular order.

“I ain’t votin’ for a Muslim!”

“His middle name is Hussein! That’s a terrorist name!”

“He wants to talk to our enemies. No way!”

“He’s inexperienced! No way!”

“Get out of my bedroom!”

That last one probably only applies to me. The others involve the next president of the United States. First of all, the man’s a born again Christian. Sure his pastor said some stupid stuff, but who hasn’t heard nutty things from the pulpit. Take John Hagee. The man endorses McCain and no one is coming after McCain the way came after Barack.

I don’t have a problem with negotiating, at first, with our enemies. Perhaps it’d be better to talk than to sacrifice lives. That’s just me though.

He didn’t name himself. It’s not like his middle name is “Hitler Von Baby Killer” either. Hussein is one of the most common names in the world. If someone’s middle name dictated who they are than John Mellencamp would be a vicious member of the feline family.

He’s inexperienced? Ok. Personally I don’t want someone who has decades of experience in a broken system. I’m fine with that.

I’m sure he’s going to make mistakes. I’m sure he’s saying things now that he can’t back up later. All politicians do. I do think he’s a better fit for the role of commander in chief than McCain. Besides, as far as we know, Obama never cheated on his wife because she got in a car accident and wasn’t attractive anymore. McCain did. I don’t think the government should police morals, but when the right was up in arms over Clinton, where are they now McCain, an admitted philanderer, is running? Hypocrisy at it’s best.

I think he will win or lose for the wrong reasons. I knew Hillary wouldn’t get the nomination because I think we are a more sexist nation than we are a racist nation. People would rather have a black man than a white woman. I also feel we are a youth obsessed nation and would rather have young than old lead. Either way, these criteria are not how one should determine who to vote for. I am voting for him because I think he is an idealistic and intelligent man who personifies what I would want in a president. I think he will either gain or lose votes simply based on his race or age. That’s not how anyone should vote.

They’re saying that 83% of registered voters under the age of 35 are going to vote for Obama. All the polls show he’s ahead. I cannot conceive he’ll lose. He won’t win this state, but he’s not gonna lose. Besides, the polls are only of registered voters. Voter registration among African-Americans and Latinos is at an all time high. It’s coming around white America. Get ready.

Is this a great country or what?

RIGHT NOW

Movie - The Great World of Sound - How this movie didn’t get talked about last Oscar season is a testament to how irrelevant the Academy has become. Juno? Really? Please. Go out and rent this movie. Now.

Song - Don’t Touch Me (Throw The Water On ‘Em) by Busta Rhymes - If this song doesn’t get you pumped, I’m not sure what will. Here’s the video. It’s great.

Thing You Need To Do Monday - 796 Entertainment is a locally owned company owned by local comedians and film makers. They’ve organized a comedy night at The Speakeasy every other Monday. Mondays Don’t Suck comedy starts at 9:30 this Monday at The Speakeasy at 51st and Western. It’s good times.