It’s time to update the blog no one but myself and all of my very boring personalities read!
The roast went great. This, despite the efforts of a former co-worker’s attempt to sabotage it. You would think if someone works for the phone company they would understand calls can be traced. Especially thinly veiled calls of a harassing nature made to a business owned by close, personal, friends of mine. I guess when one is fueled by bitterness, common sense flys out the window.
Here are some of the jokes my friends said about me. These are among the few I can actually reprint here. It was pretty filthy. My friend Chris even wrote The Joel Song. It was awesome. Anyway. Here’s some of the jokes.
“Joel looks like Grimace with AIDS.”
“I see your face is sunburnt. Way to NOT bring attention to your giant head. It looks like the Kool Aid Man is sitting on your shoulders.”
“Joel is the only person I know who could live in a —— and still never have —.”
That last one was pretty dirty but really funny. It really meant a lot to me the owners of the Loony Bin did that for me. The wait staff donated their tips and pay to me. The comedians performed for free. It really has been a hard time recently with the job, my illness and my grandma dying, but that night more than made up for it. I have a lot of incredible friends and I hope one day I’m able to do for someone what has been for me. It was one of the best nights of my life.
I would like to thank Terry and Larry, the owners of the Loony Bin. Spencer Hicks, Seth Jospeh, Chris Dowell, Kyle Kubiak and Jacob Dyck. I would also like to give a special thanks to Brad Chad Porter for putting the show together and Jason Black for hosting. These are some of my dearest friends and I can’t thank them enough for their kindness and understanding and willingness to help me out. Thank you all.
They raised enough money so I was able to pay for COBRA thus covering me from the day I got fired until the end of July. How I’ll get the $575.00 to cover me in August, or every other month beyond that is beyond me, but hopefully I’ll figure something out.
Yesterday was surgery 30. That’s not good or pleasant. At all. Trust me on this. During my 30th surgery, I apparently remarked to my doctor he looked like M. Night Shyamalan. I don’t remember doing that. Why can’t I do something cool instead of amusing while under sedation? Something along the lines of hitting on a nurse. The staff at the place I have surgery is none too shabby when it comes to the looks department. Of course, in a place chock full of attractive women, I am at my least attractive. Yes, it’s possible to be even LESS attractive than I already am. It’s probably the hairnet and gown made of paper that makes it so. Also, lying on your stomach while someone straps you to an operating table doesn’t help.
Not much going on here other than a lot of bleeding and worrying about money. Good times. Not really.
I went to CA for my grandma’s funeral, which was a rough experience. However, it was nice to be somewhere and not hear a racial slur or homophobia coming out of some redneck’s mouth. You don’t notice how rampant things like that are here until you don’t hear any of it for a week. “What’s missing? Oh yes. Ignorance and racism.” I’m not saying there’s not homophobic or racist people in CA, it’s just not as prevalent. Maybe it’s because I didn’t understand any of it because everyone speaks Spanish there. SHA BOING! Not really. Did I mention I love CA? Everyone is so laid back and the air, despite rumors to the contrary, is pretty nice. Being near the ocean helps with that. Aside from the funeral and some familial issues, it was an ok trip. I don’t recommend going if you have to go to a funeral though. It’s so sad.
When my family and I were out there, we were going through piles of old photos for a DVD my brother was putting together to play during the reception after the funeral. It was really a sad experience but an oddly uplifting one. I just sat there wondering about the day someone will be going through piles of pictures and talking about me. I want my friends and family to remember a guy who was funny and nice and cared about people. Ok. Getting too sentimental. Must stop.
Also, and this is just a side note, I saw a lot of giant crosses on the drive out there. These white crosses are paid for by a gentleman who uses his own money. $25,000.00 a pop per cross. Because if Christ had $25k he’d spend it on a giant version commemorating the most painful day of his life with total disregard for those in need. Thanks crazy old man with an expendable income which allows for a giant cross budget.
We’re getting a basketball team! I say we call it the Thunderbirds. The silliest comment I’ve seen is this. It was posted on one of the newsok.com message boards.
“ I think the new team name should be Oklahoma City Stars and their colors be red, white & blue.”
I wish Toby Keith would stop posting things like that.
I’m not a fan of Toby. I think we all know that. However, Toby is a lifelong Democrat which means we may be on the same side this election year. If Barack can bring together Toby Keith and myself, he’s already off to a good start.
RIGHT NOW
MOVIE - Wall-E. Brilliant. I have a knack for loving all Pixar movies. Cars was probably my least favorite, but it was still good. It was ten times better than any movie with the word ‘Shrek’ in the title.
SONG - Wall-E - I know it’s not a song but the movie was so good it managed to overshadow a song pick.
- Joel