Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you. - Leviticus 11:12
We have a problem in this country. A problem that is creeping into the hearts and minds of children and taking them prisoner! The problem? The lobster agenda.
This agenda is responsible for trying to get people to view eating lobsters as acceptable! Yeah! You read that right! I never thought I’d see such a horrible thing in my life time, yet here it is. Right in front of our faces. It’s there at the popular eating establishment Red Lobster. Even Long John Silver’s sells Lobster Bites! You can’t turn on a kid’s movie involving undersea creatures without seeing these so called ‘delicious’ abominations! Their claws just reaching out for our children to pinch them with their lobster agenda grasp. This is an agenda that is harmful to our country and at the heart of it, our children’s souls.
I propose we boycott all restaurants, movies and grocery stores that exhibit any type of sympathy towards the lobster agenda. This can include displaying lobsters, selling any lobster related item or displaying any lobster paraphernalia. Why should the children of this nation be exposed to such abominations? As you read this there are cooking classes in some of our schools promoting the preparation and consumption of lobsters. Get the lobster agenda out of our schools!
The bible clearly states these creatures to be an abomination yet the mainstream liberal media and the Hollywood left is trying to get us to accept lobsters as though they are perfectly normal. God made Adam and Eve not Adam and lobster. Wait. I guess He did make the lobster. Hmm. Well he didn’t make it so you could eat it you filthy abomination loving lobster eater enabler!
I know some of you will say “Well I have many friends who eat lobsters.” or “I myself eat lobster.” to which I respond by saying I’m glad I’m here to pull the lobster fleece from off your eyes and show you the truth! Sure there is a war going on, elderly people suffering, and any other host of distractions from this evil that is the lobster agenda. Why should you worry about what someone else wants to put in their body? Because it’s destroying this nation! History shows any society who has embraced the consumption of lobster doesn’t last more than a few decades. I’m not sure where in history, but I’m sure it’s there somewhere. I don’t need history books though because I have the bible, the greatest and most manipulated book ever written. See I can take what I proclaim to be god’s word and pick and choose what to believe. Sure I plant different crops in the same land, have shaken the hand of a menstruating woman and even work on the Sabbath but I don’t have to believe ALL of the bible. I just believe the parts that make it easier to justify my hate.
So down with lobsters!
- Joel