I know a lot of gay people. All of these people are sinners. Every single one of them. Ask Sally Kern.

In an effort to help my gay friends stop sinning, I suggest they go to church. “But where should I and all of my friends go to church?” Well I’ll tell you imaginary gay friend.

Olivet Baptist Church. I can’t recommend this enough. This church is understanding and caring. I suggest to my gay friends, they gather up all of their gay friends and go to the 10:50am service this Sunday the 16th. I suggest this might be the best way to atone for your sinful behavior. Just gather up all of your equally gay, lesbian, drag queen friends and go to church. It’s free and it’ll save your soul.

That’s Olivet Baptist Church this Sunday at 10:50 am. Make sure to get there early for a good seat! If you’re soul isn’t the only thing that’s getting lost, I’ve included a link to map.

- Joel