JOEL DAVID NewsOK.com Blogging Community

Reuters reported yesterday Oklahoma City born AT&T CEO Randall Stephenson as saying he just can’t seem to find skilled workers in the United States to do jobs the company has exported to India. “We’re having trouble finding the numbers that we need with the skills that are required to do these jobs,” said Randy. The corporate goal was to have 5000 jobs returned to the United States from India. To date only 1400 have been returned. That means AT&T only needs 3600 skilled people and the problem is solved. This is just the opportunity I need to advance within the company!

Some would see Randy’s comments as offensive because in a not so subtle way he’s not only stating the American workforce is subpar, but he’s also justifying sending jobs to another country over giving those jobs to people he’s laid off. I don’t see it that way because just like Randy I see opportunity where others see something abhorrent.

Since Randy is having such a tough time finding work I figure I’d help him, and you, the unskilled American worker. If you, or someone like you, needs a job, go ahead and e-mail your resume to randall.stephenson@att.com. If you don’t have a computer go ahead and mail your information to

CEO Randall Stephenson
c/o

AT&T Corporate Headquarters
32 Avenue of the Americans
New York, N.Y. 10013-2412

The company is now based in San Antonio but I’m pretty sure they forwarded their mail.

All we need is 3600 people to apply as skilled workers and we’re doing the company a great service. Tell your friends who are looking for a job.

I’m just trying to help.

- Joel

Also, I didn’t get his e-mail address from my office. I found it on Yahoo! Calm down corporate security.

Meet Randall Stephenson. He’s the CEO of the company I work for. To avoid any trouble I better not reveal what company it is. Let’s just say it contains the letters A,T,and T in the name. It was recently revealed he earned roughly $18 million dollars in 2007. Keep in mind the company has laid people off over the past year. For $18 million dollars you could employ someone who makes $40 thousand dollars a year for 450 years or 450 people for a year. You get the point.

To break it down for you, he made a bonus of over $600k, $3.85 million in performance based pay and stock options valued at $12.2 million. He also received $89,919 for personal use of the jet because I think we all know regular planes aren’t good enough what with their forcing someone to be around regular people. He also received $15,455 for home security. I’m pretty sure you can get Brinks for like $200.00 a month. Someone should tell him he’s being ripped off.

So what is my point? I have no problem with anyone making their own way in this world and I admire anyone who becomes successful. I do not however respect anyone who gained success on the backs of those who actually do work for a living rife with menial labor as opposed to one where generous amounts of ass kissing gets the job done. Any man who accepts that much money heading a company where people with families are laid off and left with nothing needs to really examine if he’s worth it. (hint - he’s not)

I understand a company is in business to make money. I understand sometimes staff needs to be let go. I understand there is a huge responsibility in running a large company, but how much is enough? At what point will these people understand when it is revealed they make more money than most working people will see in their entire lives it obliterates the notion of a work ethic. For every extra hour worked, for every extra effort given there is someone else profiting from it.

I’m not asking anyone to give any money back, or even saying this isn’t a reasonable amount of money to make as long as the employees are taken care of and the company is continuing to make money. As soon as people have to stop paying exorbitant amounts for their cell phone bills, and they get cell service that works on their $400.00 iPhone and employees are treated with the respect and dignity they deserve, people shouldn’t be making $18 million dollars.

That’s just the opinion of a working class, probably soon to be unemployed, working American. I’d rather be broke with integrity than making a fortune by taking food from children’s mouths.

RIGHT NOW

MOVIE - No Country for Old Men - Brilliant. I can’t say much more than that about it.

SONG - Piece of Me by Britney - Even though she’s gone off the deep end, she still makes catchy music. It’s crap and I know it. I should be ashamed.

- Joel

I just saw story on cnn about a young boy, Hunter Winship, suffering from cancer. He wants to get into the Guinness Book of World Records for receiving the most paper airplanes. All you’ve got to do is make a plane, write the name of the state and country on a wing, maybe a message wishing him well, and send it. That’s it. The goal is to get a million paper airplanes.

It will make your day because doing something as small as mailing a paper airplane will make a kid happy and that’s one of the greatest things anyone can do.

Send your planes to

The Airplane Cancer Goal

11227 North Hill Road

Freedom NY 14065

- Joel

“I actually got away with it! Hehe. Suckers.”

I’m not cool. I know it. You know it. Anyone with functioning senses knows it. I say this because I’m about to talk about something I should have talked about a lot sooner. Juno.

Juno is the story of a young girl faced with pregnancy and giving her baby up for adoption. Juno generated an incredibly popular soundtrack. Juno is the movie that got a best picture nod at the Oscars this year. Juno is one of the most obnoxious movies to ever grace the silver screen.

See, Juno, though young, has the wise crackin’ sensibility of a forty year old private eye from a movie made in the forties. She’s never at a loss for some snappy repartee with any one of the equally shallow characters she comes in contact with. This includes Michael Cera, Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner. The last two play the adoptive parents. But guess what! They’re in a loveless marriage because he can’t let his dreams of being a musician die! Yowza!

Usually it takes a mere few minutes of dialog to determine whether or not a movie is gonna be crap. This one was no exception. When the line, “Honest to blog?” was uttered I almost threw a brick at the screen. Being brickless at the time made it difficult to achieve though. Lesson learned, I’ll now carry a brick with me whenever I go see a movie with Ellen Page in it again, which will be never, so we’re safe.

I shouldn’t have been surprised a movie written by a former stripper was subpar. Strippers aren’t known for their keen communication skills. This movie, much like real strippers, was shallow and obnoxious, appreciated by many and hated by me. The good news is we can expect another movie ‘from the writer who brought you Juno’ which will be equally obnoxious and won’t do near as well as Juno because some studio executive thought it wise to give a three picture deal to an ex-stripper after the fluke success of Juno. Yeah. Giving loads of money to strippers never ends badly.

I know people who thought this was one of the best movies ever made. I’d like for those people to watch it again in five years and see how well the pop savvy dialog holds up. It won’t. People will look back and wonder why such accolades were heaped upon such a pile of pretentious.

People who do like it can’t seem to give me a reason why they like it. “Uh, it was funny?” or “It was sweet?” Imagine taking a road trip with Juno that last longer than ten minutes without being overcome with a sudden urge to push her out of the car around mile one. You can’t. If you can you’re more tolerant a human being than I.

“You don’t get it man. That movie was awesome!” No. It. Wasn’t.

Honest to blog.

RIGHT NOW

SONG - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel - A song full of angsty hope. Yes. There is such a thing.

MOVIE - Not Juno. Cripes.

- Joel

I know a lot of gay people. All of these people are sinners. Every single one of them. Ask Sally Kern.

In an effort to help my gay friends stop sinning, I suggest they go to church. “But where should I and all of my friends go to church?” Well I’ll tell you imaginary gay friend.

Olivet Baptist Church. I can’t recommend this enough. This church is understanding and caring. I suggest to my gay friends, they gather up all of their gay friends and go to the 10:50am service this Sunday the 16th. I suggest this might be the best way to atone for your sinful behavior. Just gather up all of your equally gay, lesbian, drag queen friends and go to church. It’s free and it’ll save your soul.

That’s Olivet Baptist Church this Sunday at 10:50 am. Make sure to get there early for a good seat! If you’re soul isn’t the only thing that’s getting lost, I’ve included a link to map.

- Joel

Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you. - Leviticus 11:12

We have a problem in this country. A problem that is creeping into the hearts and minds of children and taking them prisoner! The problem? The lobster agenda.

This agenda is responsible for trying to get people to view eating lobsters as acceptable! Yeah! You read that right! I never thought I’d see such a horrible thing in my life time, yet here it is. Right in front of our faces. It’s there at the popular eating establishment Red Lobster. Even Long John Silver’s sells Lobster Bites! You can’t turn on a kid’s movie involving undersea creatures without seeing these so called ‘delicious’ abominations! Their claws just reaching out for our children to pinch them with their lobster agenda grasp. This is an agenda that is harmful to our country and at the heart of it, our children’s souls.

I propose we boycott all restaurants, movies and grocery stores that exhibit any type of sympathy towards the lobster agenda. This can include displaying lobsters, selling any lobster related item or displaying any lobster paraphernalia. Why should the children of this nation be exposed to such abominations? As you read this there are cooking classes in some of our schools promoting the preparation and consumption of lobsters. Get the lobster agenda out of our schools!

The bible clearly states these creatures to be an abomination yet the mainstream liberal media and the Hollywood left is trying to get us to accept lobsters as though they are perfectly normal. God made Adam and Eve not Adam and lobster. Wait. I guess He did make the lobster. Hmm. Well he didn’t make it so you could eat it you filthy abomination loving lobster eater enabler!

I know some of you will say “Well I have many friends who eat lobsters.” or “I myself eat lobster.” to which I respond by saying I’m glad I’m here to pull the lobster fleece from off your eyes and show you the truth! Sure there is a war going on, elderly people suffering, and any other host of distractions from this evil that is the lobster agenda. Why should you worry about what someone else wants to put in their body? Because it’s destroying this nation! History shows any society who has embraced the consumption of lobster doesn’t last more than a few decades. I’m not sure where in history, but I’m sure it’s there somewhere. I don’t need history books though because I have the bible, the greatest and most manipulated book ever written. See I can take what I proclaim to be god’s word and pick and choose what to believe. Sure I plant different crops in the same land, have shaken the hand of a menstruating woman and even work on the Sabbath but I don’t have to believe ALL of the bible. I just believe the parts that make it easier to justify my hate.

So down with lobsters!

- Joel