JOEL DAVID NewsOK.com Blogging Community

I am addicted to My Space. It’s not an unhealthy addiction like my addiction to crack or glue but I never thought it would get to the point that it has. I originally used it as a means to get my name out into the public domain. I did this because spray painting my name on overpasses and dumpsters just wasn’t doing the trick. “Are you the Joel who spray paints their name on everything? Let’s make out!” is something no one has ever said to me. Well not anyone I’d want to make out with. I might not be able to afford to have discerning taste when it comes to the making out, but I draw the line at homeless dudes. Sorry.

After initially creating a My Space profile I started searching for people that I hadn’t talked to in years. Relatives I’d lost touch with. Friends I had thought I’d never speak with again. My Space brought those people back into my life, for better or worse. It was cool to use the internet as a link to my past and not just for watching videos of weird Germans doing whatever it is that apparently turns on other weird Germans.

After awhile I noticed that I had a whole slew of “friends”. Webster, the dictionary, not the cute little black child from the sitcom of the same name, defines a friend as a person who one likes, knows or trusts. That’s interesting because I currently have 207 “friends”. I decided to go through my friends list to see who I actually knew, liked or trusted.

Of the 207 friends I have I really only know 120 of them. By “know” I mean I have spoken with or seen these people within the past few months. This includes speaking by phone or e-mail. There are some celebrities on the list who are also my friends. Matthew Brown, Jason Black, Spencer Hicks, Beau “The Suit” Leland, Deacon Gray, Rob Little, Joel Panther and Chris Dowell just to name drop a few. I would include myself but I’m not a celebrity yet. Give it time and I’ll be having my birthday listed at the end of Entertainment Tonight before you know it. “What large headed celebrity is celebrating a birthday today? John Mayer, Joel David or Brad Pitt? If you guessed Joel David you’re right!”

Of my 207 friends I’ve dated 3 of them. Both the first and last girls I’ve kissed are on the list. And no, it wasn’t the same person. Shocking, I know. All 3 of them are married and have kids now. That means I’m a great starter boyfriend because it’s good to get that first horrible relationship out of the way and that’s where I come in apparently. I’m like the dress rehearsal relationship guy.

The remaining 87 “friends” are celebrities that I’m a fan of. Some of them I’ve seen live like Fiona Apple, who I wish I knew a lot better than being My Space friends. Sweet but crazy Fiona. Why there are celebrities on my list is beyond me. I mean it’s not like they even know who I am. Yet.

So I suppose that My Space has shown me that I have at least 207 people who wanted me to be their friend. Or vice versa. I know, like or trust 120 of them. In reality the remaining 87 aren’t real friendships. It’s just a combination of 1’s and 0’s coming together on My Space. I know a lot of good people in real life that don’t have a My Space profile. I suppose My Space is a better way to waste time than watching reruns of Three’s Company. Not by much though.

If you want to be my friend click here. If you don’t that’s cool too. I mean you’d only be stroking my already enormous ego.

RIGHT NOW

SONG - Valentine by Old 97’s - “It’s a lonely, lonely, feeling when your valentine was wrong.” It’s also a lonely, lonely feeling sitting in a van across the street watching the house of the girl you thought was your valentine. I’m just saying. Stupid Fiona.

MOVIE - Idlewild - This movie got mixed reviews when it came out but I found it to be enjoyable which means you probably will too. This is assuming you’re anything like me which I really hope for your case you are. It’s great to be me! How can you be more like me you didn’t ask? Buy hats that are too small for you, be mediocre with women, and be hilarious. I’m talking funny beyond belief hilarious. Like the type of hilarious that only god has blessed a very few of us with. You might be a ball cap wearing ladies man but you’re probably not funny. I win!

Kind of.

- Joel David