I broke one of my New Year’s resolutions yesterday. Well I actually broke two resolutions if you count my running over that homeless guy on my unicycle, but who counts that? The other resolution I broke was that I had my tenth surgery.
I found a growth and it doubled in size in just a few hours. I headed off to the surgeon’s office and a couple hours later I was having surgery. For the tenth time. The good thing is that the staff there knows me so it’s kind of like visiting friends. Friends you don’t know that well that you only see when you’re in pain but friends nonetheless. Everyone there is really nice and takes good care of me when I’m there so I’m thankful for that.
I had a 3cm circular incision that was 2cm deep cut into me. Again. “Well it sounds like you’re going to need some time off of work.” And you’d be right! The problem is that because I was on disability for this a couple of weeks ago I cannot file another disability case. I also have no FMLA time left so I’m having to burn my vacation! This is good because I actually got into serious trouble for being sick as it was not excused because I hadn’t built up enough FMLA hours. Basically what I’m saying is that I don’t like burning vacation because I had surgery. It’s not fair to complain though. I really have no room to complain about anything at all because life is good.
Life is good because while I hate the job I have, because it is creatively devoid and because I don’t buy into the idea that that job is the best thing to happen to me, I do have health benefits which is good because I got put back on the super expensive antibiotic, Zyvox. Zyvox, when not covered by insurance costs roughly $67.00 per pill.
In case you were wondering whether or not the pill is made of pure gold or Leprechaun embryos thus accounting for the exorbitant price, here is a picture of the pill to prove that it’s nothing so grand.
I have been prescribed enough for the next four months. This works out to $16,080.00.
This amount makes me a little concerned for the people who either can’t afford benefits or don’t have the disposable income of Bill Gates or the Lord. God’s pretty rich and you know it! Did you see the episode of Cribs with The Lord in it? That guy drinks a lot of Cristal. Like un-Himly amounts.
What if you have MRSA and then you can’t get the pills? It is unbelievable we are the wealthiest nation on the planet and we can’t take care of our people a little better.
I don’t have an answer on how to fix that right now because I’m a bit out of it which I attribute to the Lortab. My liver hates me because of all the acetaminophen consumption.
Also because I call it names.
RIGHT NOW
SONG - Clubbed to Death (Kurayamino Mix) off of the first Matrix soundtrack - This song makes want to walk in slow motion while things behind me explode and I battle ninjas as I walk down a corridor full of ninjas that wish me harm but once I’m through with them they’ll wish they weren’t in so much pain from the Joel style beat down they received. Also, I like to listen to songs that make me realize I’m a huge dork.
MOVIE - Little Miss Sunshine - If you want to see an unadulteratedly honest performance watch this movie and everyone’s performance in it. It is a phenomenal movie. It does lack one thing though that would definitely get it a best Oscar win. Me fighting ninjas.
- Joel David