BAGHDAD, IRAQ (CNN) — IRAQ HANGED TWO OF SADDAM HUSSEIN’S AIDES EARLY MONDAY, AND ONE OF THE MEN WAS DECAPITATED IN THE PROCESS
This is the transcript of the speech made by the lead hangman prior to the execution of Saddam’s brother, Barzan Hassan.
“Okay everyone. Calm down. I know you are all excited. First off I would like to thank all of you for accepting the job as ‘Hanging Crew’. I know that all of you are new since we had to let the last crew go after the last hanging. I see you’ve all gotten your ski masks. Good. Good. You guys look great. You look like a ski team! I joke. I am kidding. Ok. Let’s check here. Rope. Check. Gallows. Check. That is almost it. Now before we get started I want to talk to you all about something.
Now the last time that we did one of these it went horribly bad. We cannot afford to let what happened last time happen again. We must show the rest of the world that we are not bloodthirsty savages out for revenge! We must show the world that we can carry out the court’s orders calling for the death of Saddam’s brother. We want to make sure that everything goes as smoothly as possible with no mistakes! I’m talking about Mr. Had-to-use-his-camera-phone! He won’t be doing that again because he has learned his lesson. Let’s just say it is not easy to use a camera phone when you have no hands! Speaking of which, no one has a camera phone do they? Let me have it Ahmed. You will get it back after the hanging. I don’t care. Speaking of phones if you have one that is not a camera phone please make sure the ringer is off. We do not need to hear 50 Cent right as someone is getting hanged. That would also be bad.
One more time, here is how this will work. What will happen is that the prisoner will be brought into the room here and stand atop the gallows. I do not want yelling this time! I don’t care how angry he makes you! None of this Muqtada crap again! I also do not want anyone joking about how he will soon be a pinata. Nothing like that please.
Well I think that about covers it. It seemed there was something else I had to tell all of you. I think it had to do with how tight the rope is. Oh well. If I think of it I will tell you later! Now let’s have a good hanging!”
-Joel David