This is what I want for Christmas.
This is a picture of an 80GB black iPod. This is all I really want for Christmas. Well that is assuming that something doesn’t happen that allows for smart, funny, attractive women who like me to be legally purchased before Christmas, because if that happens, iPod be damned!Seeing as how that’s not very likely though, I’m shooting for an 80GB black iPod. So here is how this ‘concerns’ you. I figure if everyone out there who reads this contributes one dollar to the Joel’s Christmas iPod fund, that will be three dollars. Hey, it’s a start.
Or even better you could contribute a dollar for each time I’ve made you laugh. Face it, not even Bill Gates has that kind of money. Viva la false sense of self esteem! Sadly it would still only amount to around three bucks.
How about I only charge you for repeat laughs you may have had as a result of having read this? For instance when you’re at work and you remember some hilarious anecdote I’ve written about or another crack I’ve made about my enormous skull, just set up a Joel’s iPod jar at your desk and everytime I’ve made you laugh whether it’s by way of blog entry, column or hilarious podcast just throw a dollar into the jar and send it to me. This will allow me to one day own an iPod and stop living the life of a wretched iPodless freak.
Besides, if I get an iPod I’ll donate my Walkman to a homeless person. The homeless loves thems some music too.
If you don’t celebrate Christmas, that’s cool. I’ll accept a Kwanzaa or Hanukkah iPod. I’m not picky.
- Joel David